I think if I had need for a paternity test, I probably wouldn’t cheap out on it..
Best under £5.00 secret Santa gift ever.
I’mma get some tomorrow!
Adverts be like;
“Wow and amaze friends and family at Xmas. With Acme new improved “Who’s the daddy kit. ”
“Fun for all the family. ”
(Maybe, if they turn out to be family)
I don’t think I’d trust a £4.99 one
Customer “where can I find the home dna tests?”.
Member of staff “Over there on the Jeremy K-aisle”
I saw these recently, £5 for the kit plus £70 for the results.
Will these things be 100% accurate?
I’m all for things being cheaper, but given the context, it just seems so worryingly cheap 😬
Not the sort of thing anyone would want to not be 100%.
The ramifications could be intense.
Ideal gift for father’s day.
Well Jeremy Kyle isn’t on the air anymore.
I had to deal with a young girl that shoplifted one of these thinking it was a pregnancy test.
Poor lassie.
Edit: I bought her an actual pregnancy test and helped her speak to her parents about the situation in case anyone thought she got the jail or something.
> trying to destroy lives
I wouldn’t say someone providing paternity tests is trying to destroy lives lol
The person who cheated and had a kid did that already
Morning postie, say ahhhhh
“We have Jeremy Kyle show at home”
You could go all in and spend £50 on Cameo to get Jeremy Kyle to read the results out to you. Will cost an extra tenner if you want him to swear.
Perfect stocking filler / secret Santa present
Stick a couple of these under the tree to really liven up Christmas
This should be mandatory at birth. Men and children don’t deserve to not know.
In our local one there’s an aisle that goes condoms/HIV test/pregnancy test/paternity test.
All good and important stuff I suppose. Just grimly amusing to see them laid out like that.
Finally going to be able to test if my daughter is my wife’s child.
Some would say this has now become an everyday essential household staple across the UK…
Good stocking filler, at least.
Waste of money if you intend to rely on it for legal reasons; the results are inadmissible in court as you DIY. Court-approved ones require the company or another professional to take the sample to ensure no tampering, and are more expensive.
Jeremy Kyle show is gone but not forgotten.
i used one of these with tragic results ..it turns out im not related to myself
Fuck me, I wouldn’t trust a Home Bargains ready meal, never mind a Home Bargains paternity test.
Wt actual fk
I’d rather get anyone preggers with my child ***up*** the Aisle than be a feckless father.
I dunno how these waste-of-space guys manage to talk the girl into having their kid in the first place, actually…
There must be great opportunities for a different kind of future “Surrogacy” where the lady who wants a kid actually gets paid to be a Mum as a “job” rather than just paid a lump sum to give away a baby she might actually want to keep…… Dunno if that would count as a “Kept Woman” or “Mistress” though, as I’ve never known any such young ladies who were not already knocked-up by some random feckless loser…..
If it’s true that you must pay an extra, much larger fee to get the results, then I think this would fall afoul of advertising regulations
As opposed to the women out here fucking random dudes and lying to their partners so they end up raising some other guys kid thinking it’s their kid? Yeah, that wouldn’t ruin your life at all.
30 comments
Good lord, that’s a risk.
I think if I had need for a paternity test, I probably wouldn’t cheap out on it..
Best under £5.00 secret Santa gift ever.
I’mma get some tomorrow!
Adverts be like;
“Wow and amaze friends and family at Xmas. With Acme new improved “Who’s the daddy kit. ”
“Fun for all the family. ”
(Maybe, if they turn out to be family)
I don’t think I’d trust a £4.99 one
Customer “where can I find the home dna tests?”.
Member of staff “Over there on the Jeremy K-aisle”
I saw these recently, £5 for the kit plus £70 for the results.
Will these things be 100% accurate?
I’m all for things being cheaper, but given the context, it just seems so worryingly cheap 😬
Not the sort of thing anyone would want to not be 100%.
The ramifications could be intense.
Ideal gift for father’s day.
Well Jeremy Kyle isn’t on the air anymore.
I had to deal with a young girl that shoplifted one of these thinking it was a pregnancy test.
Poor lassie.
Edit: I bought her an actual pregnancy test and helped her speak to her parents about the situation in case anyone thought she got the jail or something.
> trying to destroy lives
I wouldn’t say someone providing paternity tests is trying to destroy lives lol
The person who cheated and had a kid did that already
Morning postie, say ahhhhh
“We have Jeremy Kyle show at home”
You could go all in and spend £50 on Cameo to get Jeremy Kyle to read the results out to you. Will cost an extra tenner if you want him to swear.
Perfect stocking filler / secret Santa present
Stick a couple of these under the tree to really liven up Christmas
This should be mandatory at birth. Men and children don’t deserve to not know.
In our local one there’s an aisle that goes condoms/HIV test/pregnancy test/paternity test.
All good and important stuff I suppose. Just grimly amusing to see them laid out like that.
Finally going to be able to test if my daughter is my wife’s child.
Some would say this has now become an everyday essential household staple across the UK…
Good stocking filler, at least.
Waste of money if you intend to rely on it for legal reasons; the results are inadmissible in court as you DIY. Court-approved ones require the company or another professional to take the sample to ensure no tampering, and are more expensive.
Jeremy Kyle show is gone but not forgotten.
i used one of these with tragic results ..it turns out im not related to myself
Fuck me, I wouldn’t trust a Home Bargains ready meal, never mind a Home Bargains paternity test.
Wt actual fk
I’d rather get anyone preggers with my child ***up*** the Aisle than be a feckless father.
I dunno how these waste-of-space guys manage to talk the girl into having their kid in the first place, actually…
There must be great opportunities for a different kind of future “Surrogacy” where the lady who wants a kid actually gets paid to be a Mum as a “job” rather than just paid a lump sum to give away a baby she might actually want to keep…… Dunno if that would count as a “Kept Woman” or “Mistress” though, as I’ve never known any such young ladies who were not already knocked-up by some random feckless loser…..
If it’s true that you must pay an extra, much larger fee to get the results, then I think this would fall afoul of advertising regulations
As opposed to the women out here fucking random dudes and lying to their partners so they end up raising some other guys kid thinking it’s their kid? Yeah, that wouldn’t ruin your life at all.
Home Paternity Bargains
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