Vance: Anyone who says they like turkey is ‘full of s—‘

41 comments

1. From the article:

   Vice President Vance on Wednesday invoked President Trump’s “America First” policy, joking that because Thanksgiving is a U.S. holiday, the meat of choice is also “uniquely” American: Turkey.

   “Think about turkey. Who really likes … be honest with yourself, who really likes turkey?” Vance told troops on Wednesday during remarks from Fort Campbell, Ky. “You are all full of sh–. Everybody who raised your hands.”

   “Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me. How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly? Just you know, a nice summer afternoon, we’re going to go get an 18-pound turkey.”

   Goddamn he’s an idiot

2. What an un-American thing to say.

3. There are millions of people who go to the grocery store to buy turkey deli meats every fucking day you fucking shit

4. So he doesn’t know how to cook?

5. Turkey farmers come get your boy.

6. Tell me you don’t know how to cook without saying you don’t know how to cook.

7. Tell me your family can’t cook without saying your family can’t cook. Turkey is good as hell if someone who is actually competent cooks it.

8. So now we’re all full of shit today, I guess?

9. There _seems_ to be a correlation between conservatism and weak, flat attempts at humor.

   I mean, I wasn’t there, maybe his timing or affect or tone of voice made it hilarious …. yeah, that’s a stretch.

10. He’s such a pathetic wannabe, it’s embarrassing. This weirdo changed his name 3-4 times. If that’s not an early sign of pathology, I don’t know what is. He thinks that because the podcast MAGA bros laugh at what he says he is actually a comedian. Like he imagines people going, “Oh shit, JD WENT THERE lmao!!”

11. I’ll just file this under “If Obama Had Said That…”

    Exhibit #10,379

12. Like how he says he loves his wife while he feels up Erika Kirk?

13. Typical conservative take. ‘If I don’t like something, it’s shit, and everyone else believes the same thing I do, and if they tell you different, they’re lying’… What an ignorant, smug tool.

    Is that why they sell turkey legs at almost every carnival, fair, amusement park and public event across the entire country?

14. Bros been eating dry unseasoned nonsmoked Turkey his whole life. I’d hate it too if that was me.

15. This man is an alien I swear to god.

16. I’m so tired of people admitting their family can’t cook. If I was JD Vance’s hillbilly granny I would be really upset right now >:(

17. Imagine if a Democrat had said that.

18. God, Vance. is so awkward. He can’t order a donut, he fucks couches, and he can’t tell a joke. Dude really thinks he’s so funny and charismatic – really, dude rolled a 1 on his rizz.

    I love turkey. Club sandwiches, dude, for life.

19. Turkey deli meat, turkey bacon, turkey sausage, ground turkey, turkey burgers, and probably others I haven’t heard about or eaten. Like, I love turkey.

20. >“Think about turkey. Who really likes … be honest with yourself, who really likes turkey?” Vance told troops on Wednesday during remarks from Fort Campbell, Ky. “You are all full of sh–. Everybody who raised your hands.”

    >“Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me. How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly? Just you know, a nice summer afternoon, we’re going to go get an 18-pound turkey.”

    “You claim you like hamburgers but how many times have you bought and cooked a whole 1,500-pound cow? Curious.”

    Is this some kind of maga seinfeld millennial comedy routine? What a freak

21. -VP of America thinks Turkey can only be made by cooking an entire turkey….

    This guy went to Yale? Or is it he has never been around regular people in his richboy lifestyle his entire life?

22. Sorry you can’t cook, couch fucker.

23. What other American traditions would you like to shit on?

24. Eat shit veep, you dont speak for me. I love turkey 

25. I don’t think he can really insult anyone’s taste in food considering he utterly failed at the simple task of ordering fucking donuts.

    What an absolute scrotum of a human being.

26. God, his sense of humor is so fucking bad.

27. Ok so now there’s two things JD Vance has said that I agree with. This, and the time he called Trump “America’s Hitler”.

28. Is this really something worth getting upset over? Who the hell cares

29. “Anyone who says they don’t like to have sex with a couch is full of s—“

30. The charm of an enema.

31. I’ve found that these people only mention specifically weird things like this when there is a specific political reason behind it.

    Perhaps there was a story this morning on the news about how only 40% of people could afford turkey this year because of trump-flation. Trumpers then have to make an excuse for it in every convo to distract from the real reason.

    “Well turkey consumption is down this year cuz TURKEY SUCKS!”

32. Can’t stand the swearing he adds into his speeches trying to be relatable and funny. Comes across so unauthentic.

33. When George Bush Senior started he didn’t like broccoli, it was considered out of touch, and an unbecoming statement from a president. He was widely criticized, and it was heavily covered in the media. 

    Times change, I guess.

34. I just had a turkey that no chicken could hold a candle too ever. I don’t know what world this jackass lives in but turkey is superior to chicken 10/10.

35. I hate JD Vance, but outside of ground turkey or turkey deli meat, is anyone really baking a turkey regularly or throwing turkey meat into their regular cooking rotation.

    He has a point, Thanksgiving food is not great or you’d be eating it more. There would be fast food Thanksgiving foods.

36. I love turkey. I have a Turkey sandwich at least once or twice a week. This administration is jam-packed full of idiots.

37. I can’t think of anything weirder and more out of touch to say on Thanksgiving. What an absolute mung bean

38. Sorry, i can’t stand the guy but kinda agree with him. Turkey always has the most bland taste and is my least favorite part of Thanksgiving. Even if it’s juicy and not dry, it still doesn’t taste as good as Christmas ham.

39. Anyone who says that they like JD Vance, ( If that’s his real name.) is full of shit.

40. Eat shit, JD Vance. My roast turkey fucks. If my roast turkey was a person it would be 90’s Catherine Zeta Jones.

41. All this tells me is the the hillbilly has eaten shit food all his life.

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