How would you complete this headline on the Guardian?

by changleosingha

45 comments
  1. ‘Charities are disappointed that the Guardian has to get its patter from Reddit’

  2. …as they’re advised to collect samples instead of money…

  3. Ghosts announce strike over festive season – sickly boys expected to perish.

  4. Charities disappointed as man behind door doesn’t answer.

  5. …a finger up the arse more popular than street collections

  6. Children no longer able to be exploited during multiple early morning deliveries

  7. tley as 80’s crooner, 59, has his donation of 100 CD Albums refused.

  8. Disappointed as.

    That’s used here in NI.

    Mate how was the Chinese?

    Ah mate it was amazing I’m stuffed as.

    Mate what about yer one on the one show?

    Ahh mate she’s hot as.

    Etc.

  9. … plan to breed race of super-soldiers falls through.

  10. As CEO caught on cctv preparing a bowl of cereal in the office staff room, by putting the milk in the bowl first.
    Then went on to prepare a cup of tea, milk in the empty cup, followed by teabag and left the manky spoon in the sink despite clear signage regarding washing up after yourself.

    I’ll stop now 😀

  11. Charities disappointed as donations squandered on Dairylea Dunkers for the homeless

  12. Charities disappointed as carrots become sapient and demand unionisation.

  13. as doctors that don’t get to stick their finger up men’s arseholes.

  14. Charities disappointed as all charitable people are skint and the rich aren’t worried about hell anymore.

  15. Like digital probing, don’t like cancer, disappointed as.

  16. man crosses street to avoid talking to their representative during rush hour.

  17. Working class choose to buy bottled burps rather than donate their hard earned money

  18. Charities disappointed as newspaper fails to complete headline

  19. they continue to pay for services that the government should provide

  20. sexual exploitation enquiry launched in Haiti.

    OK it’s not funny, but it did happen!

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