Christmas is meant to be the most festive time of year – but what happens when you don’t have family nearby to celebrate with?
Every December, television ads and social media feeds paint the same glossy picture: joyful reunions, crowded dinner tables and traditions passed down through generations. For many people, though, that’s not the reality. Some live oceans away from their biological families. Others are estranged, or juggling complicated relationships, or simply unable to travel. Against the glittering backdrop of holiday marketing, the absence of family can feel sharper than at any other time of year.
I know this because I’m one of these people. I’m originally from Australia, but I’ve been living in London for more than six years. Although my dad is British, my relatives are scattered across the world, and there’s no doorstep here in the UK that I can reliably turn up on for Christmas. It was a trade-off I knowingly made when I moved to this city, but as the years have passed, the thrill of cobbling together festive plans has worn off.
Social media can be a reminder of what you’re missing out on when spending Christmas away from family. (Getty Images)
If I’m not flying home – which I’ve only done twice out of (soon to be) seven Christmases – I’m usually left scrambling at the last minute to find something to do. Most of my friends disappear to spend the holidays with their own families or, more often, with their partner’s. I don’t begrudge them (OK, maybe a little), but it does mean that by mid-December, I usually find myself staring down a diary with a gaping hole right where Christmas should be. And that can feel both lonely and isolating.
Last year, in a mad dash to avoid spending the holidays alone in a B&B, I flew to Estonia to join 14 other Australians, most of whom I’d never met. Tallinn was magical – medieval squares dusted with snow, markets glowing under Christmas lights – and I’d recommend it to anyone seeking a festive trip. Yet despite the novelty and the laughter, it still didn’t feel like Christmas.
While it was lots of fun traipsing around the old town for Secret Santa gifts, going out for a festive lunch at a medieval restaurant and exploring the Christmas markets on the big day itself, there were moments where I felt alone – even though I was surrounded by people. Spending the festive season with people you don’t know can be jarring. And while yes, some of those I went on the trip with I now count as friends, the novelty of a Christmas away from home is wearing off.
I know I’m not the only one in the UK spending the holidays without family, whether by choice or due to circumstances beyond our control. A Vodafone-backed poll in 2024 found that 36% of Britons planned to spend Christmas apart from their families, due to factors such as work commitments or the challenges of balancing multiple households.
Tallinn is the perfect Christmas escape, but it feels disorienting without family. (Provided)
A study from the Policy Institute at King’s College London reveals that the trend has been steadily rising for decades: in 2024, one in nine people in the UK spent Christmas alone, up from 5% in 1969. Looking ahead, projections reported by HomeCare Insight suggest 8.4 million people could spend Christmas entirely solo by 2026.
For anyone who hasn’t experienced it, spending the holidays alone or far from family can be disorienting. When friends and colleagues swap stories about their decorating traditions or what they’re buying for their parents, it’s easy to feel like you’re orbiting a world you’re not quite part of. If you’re single, those feelings can intensify.
Christmas often highlights the reality that everyone around you seems to be pairing off, planning joint holidays, or juggling two sets of in-laws. When you’re single, you don’t just miss out on having a partner to spend the day with – you also miss out on the built-in invitation to someone else’s family festivities.
This year, I almost found myself planning another solo Christmas, but thankfully, a friend swooped in at the last minute with an invitation. His parents are going overseas without him, so a small motley crew of us will be spending four days together in Bristol.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to spend the holiday season with family. (Getty Images)
Still, whether I have plans or not, the season comes with moments that catch me off guard. I’ll open Instagram and see giant family tables, coordinated pyjamas, and people following traditions they’ve had since childhood. And while I’m genuinely happy for them, I sometimes feel a quiet tug – a mix of nostalgia, envy, and a small dose of missing family that are far away.
But here’s what I’ve learned after multiple Christmases abroad: even if the holiday doesn’t look traditional, it can still be fun and meaningful – and sometimes even more memorable. The picture-perfect Christmas isn’t the only way to spend the holiday – and it’s not necessarily the most honest or joyful one.
For anyone facing a non-traditional or solo Christmas this year, know this: you’re not the only one. Far from it. And while the holiday might look different for you – a smaller table, a borrowed family, a quiet day – different doesn’t have to mean lesser.
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