It turns out, your Evri delivery guy’s name is actually Jesús
Is it being delivered on a bike?
This is how Jesus avoids trespassing – he’s on your property in an official capacity.
Hope he turns up on a bike
It can be tricky getting a hold of some third party delivery contractors, but you’re in luck here as most towns and cities will have a dedicated building you can still pop into in person, although I’ve heard you don’t always get a quick answer…
Come again?
Refund your sins
Did you order loaves and fishes?
I need thee Everi hour
They’ll uphold it for sure, it’s nailed on
You can be redeemed! (As a shop credit.)
I snorted my coffee, this is gold!
Christ-o-gram. What a great idea!
Some of us have been waiting 2000 years. I’m starting to think he’s not coming already.
Well… Ask and you shall receive
You’ve got more chance of that happening than Evri delivering before Christmas to be honest. ✝️
WTH are you ordering from? Because I thought Christ only delivers from Evil.
For most of his life Jesus worked as a carpenter before he came famous.
What if in his second coming he’s simply a Next delivery driver? And Next have just outed him 10 years too early
I suppose if it gets half way there, you could be living on a prayer.
Don’t worry. Im sure he will nail it
You have to have faith in him that your parcel will arrive.
Be careful. I used Delivery by Christ for my bakery and fishmonger order, and received a much larger order than I’d expected.
He will leave it with your neighbour, sadly he considers that everyone is your neighbour
if you ask nicely you can get thousands of dildos not just the two you ordered
Time to get Martin Lewis on this
That wouldn’t be an economical matter; that would be an ecumenical matter.
Remember, Jesus saves. But Black Friday reductions are bigger.
He’ll leave a card.
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.
Customer complaint:
Item was delivered but the delivery driver wasn’t the messiah, he was a very naughty boy!
Did they specify which Christmas?
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU (to pay extra for shipping.)
Doubt it will be covered by insurance; often doesn’t cover acts of God
You will know not the day nor the hour!
Don’t worry, he’s just atoning for our sins by being worked to death
I’d be careful choosing that option, I chose it once when I ordered a pack of bottled water and I got bottles of wine instead!
>consumer rights
blood and body
Delivery, By Christ!
Just a few centauries late..
I think you’re legally allowed to put up a crucifix in your front garden.
44 comments
Wait for the second coming
Deliver us from evil
If it doesn’t get delivered, will you be cross?
God knows
he`ll be cross if your not in
It turns out, your Evri delivery guy’s name is actually Jesús
Is it being delivered on a bike?
This is how Jesus avoids trespassing – he’s on your property in an official capacity.
Hope he turns up on a bike
It can be tricky getting a hold of some third party delivery contractors, but you’re in luck here as most towns and cities will have a dedicated building you can still pop into in person, although I’ve heard you don’t always get a quick answer…
Come again?
Refund your sins
Did you order loaves and fishes?
I need thee Everi hour
They’ll uphold it for sure, it’s nailed on
You can be redeemed! (As a shop credit.)
I snorted my coffee, this is gold!
Christ-o-gram. What a great idea!
Some of us have been waiting 2000 years. I’m starting to think he’s not coming already.
Well… Ask and you shall receive
You’ve got more chance of that happening than Evri delivering before Christmas to be honest. ✝️
WTH are you ordering from? Because I thought Christ only delivers from Evil.
For most of his life Jesus worked as a carpenter before he came famous.
What if in his second coming he’s simply a Next delivery driver? And Next have just outed him 10 years too early
I suppose if it gets half way there, you could be living on a prayer.
Don’t worry. Im sure he will nail it
You have to have faith in him that your parcel will arrive.
Be careful. I used Delivery by Christ for my bakery and fishmonger order, and received a much larger order than I’d expected.
He will leave it with your neighbour, sadly he considers that everyone is your neighbour
if you ask nicely you can get thousands of dildos not just the two you ordered
Time to get Martin Lewis on this
That wouldn’t be an economical matter; that would be an ecumenical matter.
Remember, Jesus saves. But Black Friday reductions are bigger.
He’ll leave a card.
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.
Customer complaint:
Item was delivered but the delivery driver wasn’t the messiah, he was a very naughty boy!
Did they specify which Christmas?
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU (to pay extra for shipping.)
Doubt it will be covered by insurance; often doesn’t cover acts of God
You will know not the day nor the hour!
Don’t worry, he’s just atoning for our sins by being worked to death
I’d be careful choosing that option, I chose it once when I ordered a pack of bottled water and I got bottles of wine instead!
>consumer rights
blood and body
Delivery, By Christ!
Just a few centauries late..
I think you’re legally allowed to put up a crucifix in your front garden.
Comments are closed.