Had a guy fail a random drug test. He came up with some excuse. Gave him the benefit of the doubt & told him there would be another drug test in a months time (he knew the date). He failed it. Couldn’t even stay sober just that once 😅
What sorta jobs come with drug tests? Bar police of course
A couple of us handed our notice in at an employer of about 2000 people and both of those getting randomly tested that month were us. Always seemed like a funny coincidence that something like 1 in 2 million odds.
Im high up at work so know when we are random drug testing. I ALWAYS take codeine before a test, our policy is to suspend on full pay until the lab test comes back, it takes 2 weeks. I repeat this 3 times a year for bonus time off, play the game guys.
We drug test in the UK?
You could try not being a prick and not drug testing your staff. As long as he’s not turning up loaded, what they do out of work is not your fucking concern.
Got a part time job in a warehouse during my uni holidays. Was told by the agency guy we were gonna be tested and I said I’ll probably fail. The guy said ‘don’t worry, I’ll sort it’. Ended up passing me a pot of his own piss to hand in hahah.
Sometimes I think the people that don’t do coke are the minority
Guess spiking with LSD is “old” now.
These young ‘uns don’t know they’re born…
In real life this happens more than you think especially in financial circles (though we don’t get drug tested often) but whenever it comes up its file a police report you where spiked. Immediately tell HR (if you are a new starter pray to god HR is feeling nice)Â
Be prepared for a random drug tests for the next 6 monthsÂ
If you haven’t already beaten said friend to death cut contact.
And some life advice I learned the hard way ironically in a similar position to OP if your the only sober one in your friendship circle.
Immediately ghost them like today… Get a sporty or sociable hobby and make new friends.Â
If you’re socially awkward i recommend battle tech or Warhammer as you will be adopted by your local hobby shop immediately and everyone to broke buying plastic crack to have an actual drug habitÂ
Plot twist: It was a JD and Coke
I know a guy who knew he was getting drug tested, carried a tied condom with small amount of piss in it for like a whole week.
When the test finally came, he used the urine from condom and the test came back positive for cocaine.
And by that point he hadn’t used it in like a week, so his fresh piss probably would’ve been clean.
Fucking moron
Tell him go on the sick with flu for ten days
Why would you get a job that does drug testing if you do drugs 🤯
At this point I’d do the test and prey for a false negative.
Bloody hell
It could be true tbh. Very many years ago I had the unpleasant experience of working with a right tool. He was called Brendan and was an absolute knob. If you went for Friday afternoon pints with him there was a good chance he would put an acid trip in your beer when you weren’t looking. Some people are just dicks unfortunately
Time for an oil change!
I had a buddy who was a FMX rider and his mates were also, so they were all completely insane. He told me a story that he was in the pub having a midday pint, when his mate leans over just as he was finishing it and says “I put a point (.5 of a gram) of K in there dickhead ahaha”. He said as soon as he said that the Ketamine kicked in and he ran and hid in the toilet and started K holing. Then security started banging on the door and he said all he could see was tentacles reaching over and under the door trying to grab him. Eventually the security got inside and chucked him out on the floor in central London at 1pm while completely K holing. What a fucking wild story, I’m glad I never got into freestyle Motorcross haha.
Used to work security at a SU nightclub. We’d have one or two nights a term where we’d have drugs dogs on. Rule was simple: if dog sits in front of you, we search you. If we find stuff, you’re banned. If you’re searched and we don’t find stuff, go back to the dog, if it indicates again, searched again. If the dog indicates three times – you’ve hid it well, congrats, you keep your stuff but you’re not coming in.
One guy was adamant he’d got nothing, not taken anything, doesn’t even drink. Dog still indicated on him. Eventually he admitted he was with friends a couple nights ago, all outside, they were smoking weed, he was wearing the same jacket. To he fair to him, he was either a really good actor or was genuinely sincere. I felt so bad not letting him in.
I guess that’s a long way of saying I can believe this stuff happens, especially with “lads” trying to wind up their mates. Only thing that makes me pause is if these mates would waste the coke on a joke.
What drugs do they test for? I like smoking a joint before bed, but Pepsi is more of a special occasion thing.
To be fair there are mates like this! One of my mates decided to drop an E into my Guinness… at my wedding evening reception!! I missed the buffet (best part of the evening reception) because I was in the bar chatting shit…
We are still mates though!
Which UK jobs require a compulsory drug test?
While I understand the not believing him. I did have a “friend” who spiked me with ecstasy because he thought it would be funny. Needles to say we are not acquainted any more.
Your dog (/child / mum / other friend) makes piss and doesn’t take drugs. That’s all I’ve got to say.
If u have to sell your mate out then… wait a sec I just stopped myself mid flow cuz I don’t like the idea of framing it as selling him out when he clearly screwed u over 😂 do what u have to do to keep the job, don’t worry about someone who clearly wasn’t worrying about u. Get better friends too
I was given Molly at a party once without my knowledge (it was supposed to be cocaine, but still!)
Don’t worry, there’s always scaffolding
With a bioavailability of 33% how likely would it be that this would show up in a test?
I know mates who would do this to other mates and find it funny, so it might not be complete bullshit.
Edit for typo
I remember i had a drug test for a job so my friends thought they were funny and pinned me to the ground anss made me smoke the devil’s substance
We had a lad tested at work the other day because he stunk of skunk. They called him out and told him the testing team would be around 2 hours. I wondered why he didn’t just walk as he was only agency. He said, I might as well get paid for the two hours 🤣 mad lad. Probably walked straight into another job the next day.
Lateral thinker, lad will go far. He keeps his job in my view.
Oohhh what a lie
I remember when I worked at McDonald’s and one of the lads got a decent job on the railway, was well chuffed for him. He was back working the grills 2 weeks later after failing a drug test.
“Sorry mate, but I’m going to have to report this to the police, otherwise I’ll lose my job. I know you’re my mate, but that was a dumb fucking thing to do. Don’t spike people. This isn’t personal, but you’ve fucked me over here and that’s on you.”
If I was the employer, it would absolutely be this. You make a police report and we’ll call this fair. Otherwise, calling bullshit.
That said, what someone does in their leisure time doesn’t bother me as long as it doesn’t affect their work, so there’s that. But I get different employers have different policies.
45 comments
What a dick!
He put Coke in his drink to try and sober him up.
In fairness, if you put in a police report claiming you were spiked then you’d have a leg to stand on
God loves a trier haha.
We’re drug testing in the UK now?
An actual funny thing related to British cultural situation? In this sub? It must be Christmas
He should buy synthetic piss like the rest of us they even come with thermal pads now to keep it warm.
Had a guy insist once that someone had thrown a bag of cocaine at him and he’d accidentally inhaled. Sure buddy…
https://preview.redd.it/1vz7e3wpsq8g1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0317ad651a236848390270d2e10bdc68e63fdfd5
Had a guy fail a random drug test. He came up with some excuse. Gave him the benefit of the doubt & told him there would be another drug test in a months time (he knew the date). He failed it. Couldn’t even stay sober just that once 😅
What sorta jobs come with drug tests? Bar police of course
A couple of us handed our notice in at an employer of about 2000 people and both of those getting randomly tested that month were us. Always seemed like a funny coincidence that something like 1 in 2 million odds.
Im high up at work so know when we are random drug testing. I ALWAYS take codeine before a test, our policy is to suspend on full pay until the lab test comes back, it takes 2 weeks. I repeat this 3 times a year for bonus time off, play the game guys.
We drug test in the UK?
You could try not being a prick and not drug testing your staff. As long as he’s not turning up loaded, what they do out of work is not your fucking concern.
Got a part time job in a warehouse during my uni holidays. Was told by the agency guy we were gonna be tested and I said I’ll probably fail. The guy said ‘don’t worry, I’ll sort it’. Ended up passing me a pot of his own piss to hand in hahah.
Sometimes I think the people that don’t do coke are the minority
Guess spiking with LSD is “old” now.
These young ‘uns don’t know they’re born…
In real life this happens more than you think especially in financial circles (though we don’t get drug tested often) but whenever it comes up its file a police report you where spiked. Immediately tell HR (if you are a new starter pray to god HR is feeling nice)Â
Be prepared for a random drug tests for the next 6 monthsÂ
If you haven’t already beaten said friend to death cut contact.
And some life advice I learned the hard way ironically in a similar position to OP if your the only sober one in your friendship circle.
Immediately ghost them like today… Get a sporty or sociable hobby and make new friends.Â
If you’re socially awkward i recommend battle tech or Warhammer as you will be adopted by your local hobby shop immediately and everyone to broke buying plastic crack to have an actual drug habitÂ
Plot twist: It was a JD and Coke
I know a guy who knew he was getting drug tested, carried a tied condom with small amount of piss in it for like a whole week.
When the test finally came, he used the urine from condom and the test came back positive for cocaine.
And by that point he hadn’t used it in like a week, so his fresh piss probably would’ve been clean.
Fucking moron
Tell him go on the sick with flu for ten days
Why would you get a job that does drug testing if you do drugs 🤯
At this point I’d do the test and prey for a false negative.
Bloody hell
It could be true tbh. Very many years ago I had the unpleasant experience of working with a right tool. He was called Brendan and was an absolute knob. If you went for Friday afternoon pints with him there was a good chance he would put an acid trip in your beer when you weren’t looking. Some people are just dicks unfortunately
Time for an oil change!
I had a buddy who was a FMX rider and his mates were also, so they were all completely insane. He told me a story that he was in the pub having a midday pint, when his mate leans over just as he was finishing it and says “I put a point (.5 of a gram) of K in there dickhead ahaha”. He said as soon as he said that the Ketamine kicked in and he ran and hid in the toilet and started K holing. Then security started banging on the door and he said all he could see was tentacles reaching over and under the door trying to grab him. Eventually the security got inside and chucked him out on the floor in central London at 1pm while completely K holing. What a fucking wild story, I’m glad I never got into freestyle Motorcross haha.
Used to work security at a SU nightclub. We’d have one or two nights a term where we’d have drugs dogs on. Rule was simple: if dog sits in front of you, we search you. If we find stuff, you’re banned. If you’re searched and we don’t find stuff, go back to the dog, if it indicates again, searched again. If the dog indicates three times – you’ve hid it well, congrats, you keep your stuff but you’re not coming in.
One guy was adamant he’d got nothing, not taken anything, doesn’t even drink. Dog still indicated on him. Eventually he admitted he was with friends a couple nights ago, all outside, they were smoking weed, he was wearing the same jacket. To he fair to him, he was either a really good actor or was genuinely sincere. I felt so bad not letting him in.
I guess that’s a long way of saying I can believe this stuff happens, especially with “lads” trying to wind up their mates. Only thing that makes me pause is if these mates would waste the coke on a joke.
What drugs do they test for? I like smoking a joint before bed, but Pepsi is more of a special occasion thing.
To be fair there are mates like this! One of my mates decided to drop an E into my Guinness… at my wedding evening reception!! I missed the buffet (best part of the evening reception) because I was in the bar chatting shit…
We are still mates though!
Which UK jobs require a compulsory drug test?
While I understand the not believing him. I did have a “friend” who spiked me with ecstasy because he thought it would be funny. Needles to say we are not acquainted any more.
Your dog (/child / mum / other friend) makes piss and doesn’t take drugs. That’s all I’ve got to say.
If u have to sell your mate out then… wait a sec I just stopped myself mid flow cuz I don’t like the idea of framing it as selling him out when he clearly screwed u over 😂 do what u have to do to keep the job, don’t worry about someone who clearly wasn’t worrying about u. Get better friends too
I was given Molly at a party once without my knowledge (it was supposed to be cocaine, but still!)
Don’t worry, there’s always scaffolding
With a bioavailability of 33% how likely would it be that this would show up in a test?
I know mates who would do this to other mates and find it funny, so it might not be complete bullshit.
Edit for typo
I remember i had a drug test for a job so my friends thought they were funny and pinned me to the ground anss made me smoke the devil’s substance
We had a lad tested at work the other day because he stunk of skunk. They called him out and told him the testing team would be around 2 hours. I wondered why he didn’t just walk as he was only agency. He said, I might as well get paid for the two hours 🤣 mad lad. Probably walked straight into another job the next day.
Lateral thinker, lad will go far. He keeps his job in my view.
Oohhh what a lie
I remember when I worked at McDonald’s and one of the lads got a decent job on the railway, was well chuffed for him. He was back working the grills 2 weeks later after failing a drug test.
“Sorry mate, but I’m going to have to report this to the police, otherwise I’ll lose my job. I know you’re my mate, but that was a dumb fucking thing to do. Don’t spike people. This isn’t personal, but you’ve fucked me over here and that’s on you.”
If I was the employer, it would absolutely be this. You make a police report and we’ll call this fair. Otherwise, calling bullshit.
That said, what someone does in their leisure time doesn’t bother me as long as it doesn’t affect their work, so there’s that. But I get different employers have different policies.
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