Forgot to add the alcoholic sat at the bar making the staff uncomfortable with cringe jokes
According to our local malnourished football fan, he can do a much better job managing Manchester United than Ole when we all know he can’t
You forgot about the farmers who turn up dead on 6pm every Thursday and compare wealth over two pints of IPA before climbing back into their landrovers but the police are too busy being distracted by their racist tweets to catch them drink driving. Master strategists, our farmers.
Nah thats just spoons in the town centre. Country pubs and out the way spoons are actually decent
What about the elderly gentleman, quietly sitting in the corner having a hot meal with a beer, because his children decided he’s better off living alone?
You forgot the fathers than ran away, the nonces, the people screaming laughing over the smallest things, and the needless fight.
What about the yappy dog that goes ballistic every time someone walks through the door.
This would be a flat roof pub. Avoid at all costs.
Also the dad with toddler letting him eat crisps, drink lemonade and watch Spidey and his Amazing Friends on his phone so he can neck a swift pint after the park at midday. Or somethingÂ
It’s a rare pub whose clientele skews so young, at least in my area. Also they should all be fat, including the baby.
And all the elderly Telegraph readers all sat for some reason in all the seats near the door complaining about how foreigners are layabouts and “come here for the benefits” as they’re finishing off their 4th pint on a Wednesday at 11:00am.
What about the people that laugh way too loudly at jokes that aren’t even that funny
You forgot to add:
Local quiz team.
Local football supporter who has been banned from the ground so watches the matches here on the TV.
The guy everybody knows by their nickname, but almost nobody knows what he does or who he really is.
The guy who left school at 15, has been fired from at least one job as a labourer, and wants you to know all about how it’s because of immigration that he can’t get a job.
Where is the old bloke that stinks but spends all his money on the fruity
What a strange attack on single mothers. Is it the 90’s again?
Good wholesome folk who will help wary travellers with their troubles
Oh cool, I’m the bottom right! Though I’ve since evolved into a schoolteacher descending into alcoholism.
Why is everyone always talking about descending into alcoholism? Has no one ever ascended into alcoholism?
You forgot the old boy real ale drinker with a big beard a belly full of pork scratchings.
And?
Bonus Wetherspoons addition:
the CAMRA member who also stands at the bar, wont stop talking about ale, and ‘advises’ bar staff which nozzle to use when pouring each one for the millionth time.
Is one of the reasons I don’t drink lol.
The idea of the pub died in 2008/2009. What you see now is a parody of what came before.
The meme is fairly accurate. Anybody normal doesn’t go to them anymore.
My kinda pub
And don’t forget me dad, he’s in all pubs at all times
At uni I went on a flat roof/ dive crawl and the first pub we went they were just washing glasses by hand and letting them air dry (or dishcloth when they had run out). Had a homeless man butchering karaoke which was sweet.
The next place we went stank but 2.50 for a desperados, so you really can’t complain. Go in the bogs to find on one of those narrow windows (like a big post box almost) on the window sill was an ancient bottle of prescription cream with readable label just still there. We like to imagine the bloke just figured he spends enough time there that he may as well just have it ready there.
Wether a British pub, a French cafe or an African eatery, we are all united by the sense of joy and relief when the young child running around the place and screaming suddenly bashes their skull into the table edge. It’s such a universal feeling but makes you feel so patriotically British with the old pottery hung from the big oak beams above.
Nothing ruins a pint more than kids in the pub
Free beer tomorrow
The local drug dealer who will never get put inside as his product is more creatine and talc than anything else.
I’m number 3 but instead of pints of beer it’s double rum and cokes.
Ye there is a pub in my home town which is the standard. If its not single mums it lesbians. Plus karaoke. I stopped going pubs in general when I was buying a drink for myself and some lady with one heck of a slip wast that it looks like her cleavage was gonna explode and she was nice enough but out of nowhere some dude takes a swing at me. I dodge somehow then pushes me up against the wall yelling stay away from her daughter. Bounces threw him out. And the lady was like oh my dad does that.
Fucking run.
you forgot “Guy who cleary just had a breakup, drunkenly trying to get a girl inbetween sobs”
Another classism meme. I wonder why these are suddenly being posted all over the UK subs? Couldn’t have anything to do with creating divide?
Malnourished football fan? If that’s what were doing the pint guy the should be fat blob that has no neck.
You forgot our well adjusted group of board game lovers 🥲
36 comments
Forgot to add the alcoholic sat at the bar making the staff uncomfortable with cringe jokes
According to our local malnourished football fan, he can do a much better job managing Manchester United than Ole when we all know he can’t
You forgot about the farmers who turn up dead on 6pm every Thursday and compare wealth over two pints of IPA before climbing back into their landrovers but the police are too busy being distracted by their racist tweets to catch them drink driving. Master strategists, our farmers.
Nah thats just spoons in the town centre. Country pubs and out the way spoons are actually decent
What about the elderly gentleman, quietly sitting in the corner having a hot meal with a beer, because his children decided he’s better off living alone?
You forgot the fathers than ran away, the nonces, the people screaming laughing over the smallest things, and the needless fight.
What about the yappy dog that goes ballistic every time someone walks through the door.
This would be a flat roof pub. Avoid at all costs.
Also the dad with toddler letting him eat crisps, drink lemonade and watch Spidey and his Amazing Friends on his phone so he can neck a swift pint after the park at midday. Or somethingÂ
It’s a rare pub whose clientele skews so young, at least in my area. Also they should all be fat, including the baby.
And all the elderly Telegraph readers all sat for some reason in all the seats near the door complaining about how foreigners are layabouts and “come here for the benefits” as they’re finishing off their 4th pint on a Wednesday at 11:00am.
What about the people that laugh way too loudly at jokes that aren’t even that funny
You forgot to add:
Local quiz team.
Local football supporter who has been banned from the ground so watches the matches here on the TV.
The guy everybody knows by their nickname, but almost nobody knows what he does or who he really is.
The guy who left school at 15, has been fired from at least one job as a labourer, and wants you to know all about how it’s because of immigration that he can’t get a job.
Where is the old bloke that stinks but spends all his money on the fruity
What a strange attack on single mothers. Is it the 90’s again?
Good wholesome folk who will help wary travellers with their troubles
Oh cool, I’m the bottom right! Though I’ve since evolved into a schoolteacher descending into alcoholism.
Why is everyone always talking about descending into alcoholism? Has no one ever ascended into alcoholism?
You forgot the old boy real ale drinker with a big beard a belly full of pork scratchings.
And?
Bonus Wetherspoons addition:
the CAMRA member who also stands at the bar, wont stop talking about ale, and ‘advises’ bar staff which nozzle to use when pouring each one for the millionth time.
Is one of the reasons I don’t drink lol.
The idea of the pub died in 2008/2009. What you see now is a parody of what came before.
The meme is fairly accurate. Anybody normal doesn’t go to them anymore.
My kinda pub
And don’t forget me dad, he’s in all pubs at all times
At uni I went on a flat roof/ dive crawl and the first pub we went they were just washing glasses by hand and letting them air dry (or dishcloth when they had run out). Had a homeless man butchering karaoke which was sweet.
The next place we went stank but 2.50 for a desperados, so you really can’t complain. Go in the bogs to find on one of those narrow windows (like a big post box almost) on the window sill was an ancient bottle of prescription cream with readable label just still there. We like to imagine the bloke just figured he spends enough time there that he may as well just have it ready there.
Wether a British pub, a French cafe or an African eatery, we are all united by the sense of joy and relief when the young child running around the place and screaming suddenly bashes their skull into the table edge. It’s such a universal feeling but makes you feel so patriotically British with the old pottery hung from the big oak beams above.
Nothing ruins a pint more than kids in the pub
Free beer tomorrow
The local drug dealer who will never get put inside as his product is more creatine and talc than anything else.
I’m number 3 but instead of pints of beer it’s double rum and cokes.
Ye there is a pub in my home town which is the standard. If its not single mums it lesbians. Plus karaoke. I stopped going pubs in general when I was buying a drink for myself and some lady with one heck of a slip wast that it looks like her cleavage was gonna explode and she was nice enough but out of nowhere some dude takes a swing at me. I dodge somehow then pushes me up against the wall yelling stay away from her daughter. Bounces threw him out. And the lady was like oh my dad does that.
Fucking run.
you forgot “Guy who cleary just had a breakup, drunkenly trying to get a girl inbetween sobs”
Another classism meme. I wonder why these are suddenly being posted all over the UK subs? Couldn’t have anything to do with creating divide?
Malnourished football fan? If that’s what were doing the pint guy the should be fat blob that has no neck.
You forgot our well adjusted group of board game lovers 🥲
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