had my last first date of this year this past weekend and thought these numbers might be interesting. my first dates are always either coffee or ice cream and i probably pay for myself about 65-70% of the time. second dates are always a meal and i pay for myself about 45% of the time. if he pays for the meal and we get dessert after, i pay for dessert
i initiate ~65% of first dates and initiate ~75% of rejections with lack of banter and mismatch in long-term plans being the most common rejection reasons. maybe 60% respond back well, another 20% don’t respond at all, and the rest say that they also didn’t see it working out
data source was me tracking it manually by hand and i used sankeymatic for the chart
**edit:**
* by lack of banter, i don’t mean i need someone to regale me with stories of adventure or keep me laughing for an entire meal. i want someone who can respond to questions with more than one-word answers and know how to keep a conversation flowing. i’m not very interested in having a second date with someone when the first date has me carrying the entire conversation (especially since i’m introverted already)
* my preferences are a man i find attractive, who can hold a conversation, taller than 5’5, wants kids, wants to eventually get married, is not a big partier/drinker, and is ambitious in some way. i don’t think i’m being particularly picky here
Damn at first I thought it was 41 matches, which I feel would be a lot for a dude. But that’s a lot of actual DATES!!
Where did you find 41 men to go on dates with and what size city do you live in
Why did the fifth date go wrong? I was already imagining you two married with children.
Looks exhausting. No idea how are you all doing it
You went in 41 first dates? Flabbergasting. I’ve had a dozen casual relationships, 3 serious gfs, a wife of 15 years, and there is no way I’ve gone on 41 first dates in my lifetime.
Can I ask why?
What’s wrong with all the guys you’re dating?
Are you rejecting them or are they rejecting you?
Lmao meanwhile I can’t even get 41 people to respond back.
There are how many weeks in a year?
Where yall find the energy?
Never understood people that play the field with multiple dates in a week, maybe I’m just slow but that’s a lot to keep up with.
How long are you talking before a date? Are you talking to only one at a time? And what sort of dates are you going on?
Can you do a
1. First date
2. I rejected, they rejected, second date
3. I rejected, they rejected, third date
4. I rejected, they rejected, fourth date
etc…
Before we were married, my wife was given this advice that changed my life: Lower your standards.
42nd times the charm? I’ve only gotten 2 dates this year so I’m not thrilled about these stats lol
As a woman (31F) who has just recently started being single again, this data is amazing!
I am apprehensive on what the world of dating is like for 30 + year olds, so it’s lovely to see some data on lived experience.
Almost one date a week. Some men are lucky to get 2 a year lol
Do you only talk on the app for a a day or two before deciding to meet up?
At what point are you on a first name basis with the coffee and ice cream shop workers?
what happend to the 5th date?
58 dates in a year is rough. Is there something specific that you feel they just didn’t meet your standards on? Only speaking of the ones you rejected, ofc.
What happened on the fifth date?
I’m fascinated that you could go on 41 first dates and never get past the “we’ve been on a couple of dates” phase. Are you even looking for a relationship, or do you just like meeting people?
You only need to win once
41 dates, sounds exhausting
41 first dates is insane. Either your standards are too high or you’re not actually interested in dating someone long-term
You went on 41+ dates in 1 year? I think you average more than 1 per week if you take into account 2nd, 3rd, etc dates.
I think this graph could be improved by always having the bottom branch be the “no more dates” branch. It would add consistency to the graphic.
Late 30s man here in a major city, and this looks about the same for me. Good times!
Seeing this as a slightly below average looking dude this hurts so bad. There’s no way I could get 41 women to go on dates with me in my lifetime.
This is really neat. Good for you. Dating is about getting out there. If you want to meet the right one for you, you’re going to have to meet a lot of the wrong ones first.
The responses from all the people who apparently want a partner, but are opposed to going on dates are… Perplexing.
Meanwhile usual redditor, 41 swipes, 1 match, no answer
May i ask if you have any “non negotiables” in your vetting process (this would be pre-first date)? Such as religion, politics, etc?
Well when you date 41 people in a year and have more than 1 date per week in average (57 in total), it’s probably going to be hard to take the time to make meaningful connections.
Love how the male equivalent of this is 500+ match requests and maybe 2-3 dates all year. OP is taking weekly first dates.
Thanks for sharing the data!
41 dates and no long term relationship thats unfortunate. That must be exhausting. Is dating really that bleak nowadays?
Some even dare to compare women and men in the dating market.
you need to break up your first date and add pre-date elements like how long you talked on the phone and did you connect in first few minutes of meeting.
So out of 41 candidates no1 was worth more then 5 dates? That’s rough! 😁
Data is beautiful. Comments kinda suck
Dating statistics of this 30 year old male:
* 0 first dates
Online dating and its genuinely horrific effects on socializing
If this was a guy I’d be blown away and say congrats
You should split the “no X date” into other person not interested vs you not being interested vs mutual disinterest.
I went on 89 first dates in one year in 2010. I was in a city of 3 million and my roommate and I did an experiment where we’d join some online dating sites (match.com, plenty of fish, some others) and we’d edit each other’s profiles. We’d look at each other’s matches and could veto any terrible ones but otherwise we each had to go on a date with everyone we matched with. We also had to message anyone the other picked out for us.
It was a great experience and I met some very cool people. I realized people fall into a box of who they think they should be dating and need to be challenged sometimes. I also met some complete nutjobs that were harmless, but gave me good stories. I didn’t meet my Prince Charming that year, but I took what I learned and found him a year later.
I blogged about it for a while until people started trying to dox me.
41?! That’s like one new date every week. That’s why she’s not getting a lot of second dates or third- she’s too busy having first dates with new guys
41 first dates in a year. That’s awesome.
The typical male using dating apps would be lucky to go on 4 first dates in a year.
FYI the statistics vary on how many matches you need to actually get a date but the average seems to be 50ish so that means if that number holds true this woman has had over 2,000 matches this year.
This elephant in the room, dating apps.
Flashing, glowing red flag.
The misogyny in this thread is off the charts
If I could cut through the noise of the contrived battle of the sexes, I’m genuinely interested in this social dynamic as someone who is also 30.
You clearly have the social ability, money and looks to attract a partner. What do you think is your limiting factor in finding a partner?
Do you feel that no one has been good enough yet? Or is it a feeling that no one has been compatible enough yet? How does this impact your sense of self and self worth? Do you think you are going to make any changes?
I ask these questions in the spirit of a curious sociologist , thank you for sharing your life with us!
![[OC] dating statistics of a 30-year-old female in 2025](https://www.europesays.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/u6672la8h8ag1-1200x1024.png)
48 comments
had my last first date of this year this past weekend and thought these numbers might be interesting. my first dates are always either coffee or ice cream and i probably pay for myself about 65-70% of the time. second dates are always a meal and i pay for myself about 45% of the time. if he pays for the meal and we get dessert after, i pay for dessert
i initiate ~65% of first dates and initiate ~75% of rejections with lack of banter and mismatch in long-term plans being the most common rejection reasons. maybe 60% respond back well, another 20% don’t respond at all, and the rest say that they also didn’t see it working out
data source was me tracking it manually by hand and i used sankeymatic for the chart
**edit:**
* by lack of banter, i don’t mean i need someone to regale me with stories of adventure or keep me laughing for an entire meal. i want someone who can respond to questions with more than one-word answers and know how to keep a conversation flowing. i’m not very interested in having a second date with someone when the first date has me carrying the entire conversation (especially since i’m introverted already)
* my preferences are a man i find attractive, who can hold a conversation, taller than 5’5, wants kids, wants to eventually get married, is not a big partier/drinker, and is ambitious in some way. i don’t think i’m being particularly picky here
Damn at first I thought it was 41 matches, which I feel would be a lot for a dude. But that’s a lot of actual DATES!!
Where did you find 41 men to go on dates with and what size city do you live in
Why did the fifth date go wrong? I was already imagining you two married with children.
Looks exhausting. No idea how are you all doing it
You went in 41 first dates? Flabbergasting. I’ve had a dozen casual relationships, 3 serious gfs, a wife of 15 years, and there is no way I’ve gone on 41 first dates in my lifetime.
Can I ask why?
What’s wrong with all the guys you’re dating?
Are you rejecting them or are they rejecting you?
Lmao meanwhile I can’t even get 41 people to respond back.
There are how many weeks in a year?
Where yall find the energy?
Never understood people that play the field with multiple dates in a week, maybe I’m just slow but that’s a lot to keep up with.
How long are you talking before a date? Are you talking to only one at a time? And what sort of dates are you going on?
Can you do a
1. First date
2. I rejected, they rejected, second date
3. I rejected, they rejected, third date
4. I rejected, they rejected, fourth date
etc…
Before we were married, my wife was given this advice that changed my life: Lower your standards.
42nd times the charm? I’ve only gotten 2 dates this year so I’m not thrilled about these stats lol
As a woman (31F) who has just recently started being single again, this data is amazing!
I am apprehensive on what the world of dating is like for 30 + year olds, so it’s lovely to see some data on lived experience.
Almost one date a week. Some men are lucky to get 2 a year lol
Do you only talk on the app for a a day or two before deciding to meet up?
At what point are you on a first name basis with the coffee and ice cream shop workers?
what happend to the 5th date?
58 dates in a year is rough. Is there something specific that you feel they just didn’t meet your standards on? Only speaking of the ones you rejected, ofc.
What happened on the fifth date?
I’m fascinated that you could go on 41 first dates and never get past the “we’ve been on a couple of dates” phase. Are you even looking for a relationship, or do you just like meeting people?
You only need to win once
41 dates, sounds exhausting
41 first dates is insane. Either your standards are too high or you’re not actually interested in dating someone long-term
You went on 41+ dates in 1 year? I think you average more than 1 per week if you take into account 2nd, 3rd, etc dates.
I think this graph could be improved by always having the bottom branch be the “no more dates” branch. It would add consistency to the graphic.
Late 30s man here in a major city, and this looks about the same for me. Good times!
Seeing this as a slightly below average looking dude this hurts so bad. There’s no way I could get 41 women to go on dates with me in my lifetime.
This is really neat. Good for you. Dating is about getting out there. If you want to meet the right one for you, you’re going to have to meet a lot of the wrong ones first.
The responses from all the people who apparently want a partner, but are opposed to going on dates are… Perplexing.
Meanwhile usual redditor, 41 swipes, 1 match, no answer
May i ask if you have any “non negotiables” in your vetting process (this would be pre-first date)? Such as religion, politics, etc?
Well when you date 41 people in a year and have more than 1 date per week in average (57 in total), it’s probably going to be hard to take the time to make meaningful connections.
Love how the male equivalent of this is 500+ match requests and maybe 2-3 dates all year. OP is taking weekly first dates.
Thanks for sharing the data!
41 dates and no long term relationship thats unfortunate. That must be exhausting. Is dating really that bleak nowadays?
Some even dare to compare women and men in the dating market.
you need to break up your first date and add pre-date elements like how long you talked on the phone and did you connect in first few minutes of meeting.
So out of 41 candidates no1 was worth more then 5 dates? That’s rough! 😁
Data is beautiful. Comments kinda suck
Dating statistics of this 30 year old male:
* 0 first dates
Online dating and its genuinely horrific effects on socializing
If this was a guy I’d be blown away and say congrats
You should split the “no X date” into other person not interested vs you not being interested vs mutual disinterest.
I went on 89 first dates in one year in 2010. I was in a city of 3 million and my roommate and I did an experiment where we’d join some online dating sites (match.com, plenty of fish, some others) and we’d edit each other’s profiles. We’d look at each other’s matches and could veto any terrible ones but otherwise we each had to go on a date with everyone we matched with. We also had to message anyone the other picked out for us.
It was a great experience and I met some very cool people. I realized people fall into a box of who they think they should be dating and need to be challenged sometimes. I also met some complete nutjobs that were harmless, but gave me good stories. I didn’t meet my Prince Charming that year, but I took what I learned and found him a year later.
I blogged about it for a while until people started trying to dox me.
41?! That’s like one new date every week. That’s why she’s not getting a lot of second dates or third- she’s too busy having first dates with new guys
41 first dates in a year. That’s awesome.
The typical male using dating apps would be lucky to go on 4 first dates in a year.
FYI the statistics vary on how many matches you need to actually get a date but the average seems to be 50ish so that means if that number holds true this woman has had over 2,000 matches this year.
This elephant in the room, dating apps.
Flashing, glowing red flag.
The misogyny in this thread is off the charts
If I could cut through the noise of the contrived battle of the sexes, I’m genuinely interested in this social dynamic as someone who is also 30.
You clearly have the social ability, money and looks to attract a partner. What do you think is your limiting factor in finding a partner?
Do you feel that no one has been good enough yet? Or is it a feeling that no one has been compatible enough yet? How does this impact your sense of self and self worth? Do you think you are going to make any changes?
I ask these questions in the spirit of a curious sociologist , thank you for sharing your life with us!
Comments are closed.