Poetry that’s as deep as a cut-and-cover Tube line and stinks like a Paris Metro platform

by Kruki37

44 comments
  1. Would be so ironic if this was covering one of those anti staring ads lol

  2. “Meet lovers on this train”. Was there someone looking sad and lonely sat nearby?

  3. Even if mobile phones were never invented I’m 100% positive this particular poet would remain single…

  4. You sold your sole

    Now either your shoes are fucked

    Or your pet fish is gone forever

    Wannabe modernist poetry with

    no musicality or rhythmic structure

    Has totally ruined the art form

    Because any idiot can slice

    some prose into itty bitty pieces

    And get high

    off the smell of their own farts

  5. Like if Trainspotting was written on the back of a rizla by Laurence Fox and adapted by GB News.

  6. He once met the Mayor, but alas Mr Khan was on his phone so our poet was unable to flirt with him. Now he’s just going all incel on him.

  7. I remember the tube before mobile phones. We talk to each other.

  8. Harking back to the pre phones era when everyone on the tube would pass the time by having sex with each other

  9. Surprised you could get a clean photo with all the fucking taking place around you.

  10. I probably haven’t been on the Tube for a while, but the few time I was there, phone signal was patchy between stations, so I was never looking on my phone anyway.

  11. I don’t want to fuck the mayor, can I just give him a hug?

  12. Fuck you, Mayor.

    It’s time to put your phone away, Mayor.

    What were you even doing with it in the first place, Mayor?

    You didn’t even give us our freedom, Mayor.

    Are you happy now, Mayor?

    Fuck you, Mayor.

  13. Does this guy think he isn’t getting any action becase the mayor took his freedom?

  14. “Londoners outraged at being told to talk to strangers”.

  15. I want my freedom, bark!

    It was actually written by a dog btw

  16. Not talking advice from someone who can’t spell “soul” proplee.

  17. Maybe go back to school and learn the basics before attempting deep poetry

  18. Wondered why the bottom of my feet felt cold and damp

  19. i’m supposed to fuck someone i meet on this train *and* the mayor? damn busy day

  20. I’m sure whomever wrote this was certainly a well adjusted and stable individual…

  21. Before phones we used newspapers and personal stereos to ignore everyone else on public transport. In the bronze age I assume people just pretended to be asleep to avoid making small talk with the ferry man or other passengers.

  22. This tube will become a shrine, and punks and skins and rastas will all gather round and hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader. And all the grown-ups will say: “But why are the kids crying?” And the kids will say: “Haven’t you heard? Rik is dead! The People’s Poet is dead!”

  23. The spelling and punctuation is terrible. They should work on improving that before virtue signalling but hey… what do I know? I’m just an idiot, online.

  24. Bloody Sadiq Khan at it again, turning us all into phone clones! What a bastard eh

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