“In the beginning was the Big Bang…” begins surprisingly detailed Sue Gray partygate report

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  1. >Sue Gray’s reporting into lockdown lawbreaking at Number 10 Downing Street is understood to have surprised even her closest colleagues with its impressive level of detail.
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    >“*I sneaked a look at it over the weekend,”* said a junior aide to the civil servant.
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    “*It begins with the line* – ‘In the beginning was the Big Bang…’ – *she then goes on to spend a chapter detailing the formation of the universe.*
    >
    >“*I knew she wanted to be comprehensive, but this is a bit over the top, if you ask me.”*
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    >After the chapter on the formation of the universe, there are a few hundred pages on the evolution of the primordial soup, before the report spends time giving an overview of the history of Britain with particular emphasis on the history of government and parliament. …

  2. It’s when you get halfway through that the full history of the parties begins:

    “And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats.”

  3. “First the earth cooled, and then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, and turned into oil. Then the Arabs came, and they all bought Mercedes Benz’s. Then Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes…”

    *-Airplane, 1980*

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