A Long Island, N.Y. caller to The Ramsey Show says his family is now fractured beyond repair. After his father died, he convinced his 81-year-old widowed mother to place her $96,000 inheritance into a certificate of deposit (CD) for safekeeping.

Instead, he later learned that his brother, who was added as a joint owner on the account, withdrew every cent and cut off all contact following a falling-out they had.

The betrayal left him and his widowed mother devastated. He asked Dave Ramsey for advice on whether he should take the situation to court, saying he was worried that making it into a legal matter would further estrange and anger his brother.

“I’m sorry — we’re worried about pissing off somebody that stole $96,000 from their widowed mother?” Ramsey said. “I couldn’t care less if he’s pissed off. I want to put him in front of an 18-wheeler.”

Although the brother may have, in Ramsey’s words, acted like “a bum,” from a legal standpoint, he likely did nothing wrong because the money was in a joint account.

The caller explained that his mother recently had a brain-tumor surgery that left her “not all there.”

When their father died, the caller suggested putting the inheritance into an auto-renewing CD.

To keep things simple, he added his brother’s name as a joint owner of the account alongside his mother’s, and assumed that both siblings would one day split the funds equally.

“I didn’t think of anything else,” he admitted. “We thought it’d be like an easy split putting it in a CD.”

Soon after, the caller’s brother fell out with both his sibling and his mother. Months later, the two discovered the CD had been drained.

The bank confirmed that any account holder could legally withdraw the entire balance at any time. The brother had taken everything.

“You guys were so dumb. You put his name on it. If it’s really stealing or not … I’m not sure it is, legally, because his name was on the account.” Ramsey said.

The caller said he’d confronted his brother, but was met with deflection and blame.

Ramsey explained that the mother could try to hire an attorney, but it likely wouldn’t help.

Because the account was joint, the withdrawal wasn’t fraudulent. If the brother already spent the money, even a court order to pay it back might not achieve the desired result.

“You’re going to spend $10,000 chasing your mom’s money,” Ramsey said. “Attorneys and courts don’t make people have money when they don’t have money.” The caller said his mother — who still receives disability and Social Security income — has no appetite for a prolonged legal fight. Ramsey agreed that walking away might be the only realistic option (1).

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Financial exploitation can involve strangers or professional scammers, but data from AARP and the National Council on Aging shows older adults are often financially harmed by their own relatives.

Joint accounts, undocumented loans, verbal promises and blurred ownership lines all create opportunities for financial losses that can’t be easily remedied by the legal system.

As in the caller’s case, family-perpetrated financial exploitation is difficult to prosecute because the victim often willingly signed documents.

The National Council on Aging reports that seniors lose billions each year to financial abuse, with family members being perpetrators in almost 47% of incidents (2).

Families often assume money will be split evenly or that everyone will act ethically, when this is far from a guarantee. Furthermore, jointly held accounts can be vulnerable to creditors if something happens to one of the owner’s finances.

To protect aging parents, experts recommend:

Avoid joint ownership unless it is needed for a specific reason (3).

Use “transfer on death” (TOD) or beneficiary designations instead of joint accounts (4).

Establish clear estate-planning documents, including wills and powers of attorney.

Review accounts annually, especially after major life changes (5).

Keep written records of all financial decisions.

Early planning is the best defense against both accidental missteps and intentional exploitation of elderly family members. The caller’s mother lost $96,000 not because of fraud, but because of a paperwork mistake rooted in trust and misunderstanding. The emotional damage will likely outlast the financial loss.

The lesson from this story is loud and clear: The law isn’t enforced based on your idea of fairness, it’s enforced based on documentation.

We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

The Ramsey Show (1); The National Council on Aging (2); BRMM Law (3); Western & Southern Financial Group (4); Kiplinger (5)

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.