Downing Street “Haven’t Managed To Identify” Staff Who Abused Cleaners And Security

24 comments
  1. Yeah, I can imagine it must be hard to identify someone who treats the working classes with derision and disdain.

  2. The unidentified suspect has been described as a fat stammering oaf with blonde hair that appeared to be crudely stapled to his head.

  3. They haven’t managed or they haven’t tried to find out.
    Downing Street has CCTV all over the place.

    Can’t be that hard.

  4. Have they even tried looking? I suspect it is not high on their priority list and they are hoping for this to all blow over, just like how no one talks about Partygate anymore…

  5. Translation:

    It was Boris, or someone very close to him and they’re too scared and nefarious to dare add another hot, sloppy dogshit onto the ever and rapidly expanding dungheap of Boris Johnson controversies and fuck-ups.

  6. Maybe ask the cleaners and security? Or is that too much interaction with the working class?

  7. Cabinet minister: We can’t seem to identify which of our staff abused cleaners and security.

    Cleaners and security: Actually, sir, it was —

    Cabinet minister: We’re afraid this mystery will just never be solved!

  8. Particularly harsh as the cleaning and security staff are the only people in the bloody place who do any actual work.

  9. Should that headline read “we haven’t managed to identify anyone that ***didnt*** abuse cleaners and security

  10. Get them all in a room… I want everyone to look to the person to the left of you. Now look to the person to the right of you.

    Both these people abused cleaners and security.

  11. Some would say it’s time to line up the occupants of Downing street and march them into a blast furnace.

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