Holy Sh*t, Stephen Colbert Just Eviscerated Pete Hegseth With One Single Insult

OK, so, earlier this week the Washington Post reported that Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s staff barred press photographers from attending Pentagon press conferences because they were unhappy with some recently published photos of him that they found “unflattering.”

Pete Hegseth in a suit sits attentively in a conference setting, appearing focused and engaged in the proceedings

EVA MARIE UZCATEGUI / AFP via Getty Images

The report also claimed that, since March 2, only photographers who work for the Defense Department are allowed to take Hegseth’s photo — which begs the question, where are the supposedly offending photos and how can we have a laugh about them?

Pete Hegseth in a suit speaks at a podium in front of international flags

EVA MARIE UZCATEGUI / AFP via Getty Images

We may be still no closer to finding the truth, but that didn’t stop Stephen Colbert from cracking wise about the whole snafu on the latest episode of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert — and he delivered a type of verbal burn that would typically land someone in the ICU.

“Folks, they gotta look out for their boss’ image here,” he said. “Let’s take a look at these hideous, misshapen photos that these photographers got banned for taking at the Pentagon. Brace yourself.”

Man in a suit and polka dot tie stands smiling in front of a cityscape backdrop on a late-night talk show set

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Stephen then cycled through a few “normal” photos of Hegseth — y’know, kind of like the one below. Then, he delivered the final blow.

A man in a suit gestures while speaking at a podium in a formal setting. Digital displays are visible in the background

Joe Raedle / Getty Images

“Yeah, I think I see the problem — you hate your own stupid face,” Stephen said as the crowd went wild. “Maybe that’s it.”

A man in a suit stands thoughtfully in a studio with a city backdrop at night

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

“Pete, if you’re so insecure, I’d be happy to help with a little glow-up,” he continued, before cracking, “Have you considered bangs?” along with an image of Pete with, yes, bangs. (We can’t post a screenshot of the photo itself, but it’s at 8:53 in the video.)