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Wealthy people are debating on Reddit whether parents should keep helping their adult kids with money, and what that help should actually look like.
Some argue that cutting children off is necessary to build independence, while others see ongoing support as the natural extension of parenting. The original poster cited a quote from author Mel Robbins: “When your parents pay for parts of your life, they get to vote on how you’re living your life.”
“Depends on the kid and the reasons you are supporting them,” one commenter wrote, echoing a sentiment shared by many. Parents tend to draw a line between helping children who are making an effort and enabling those who are not.
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For many, the distinction is simple. Support is justified if the child is working, studying, or trying to build something. It becomes a problem when it turns into a permanent lifestyle.
“I don’t mind them staying at home rent-free if it means they are saving for a home, paying off debt, or working through higher education,” one person said. “I would, however, take issue if I noticed them blowing all their money on frivolous things.”
That balance often results in a middle-ground approach: parents act as a safety net, not a source of long-term comfort. They may cover education, help with a down payment, or step in during emergencies, but expect their children to handle day-to-day living costs.
Too much support can result in entitlement and a lack of direction. Several people described adult children in their 30s still relying on wealthy parents, avoiding work, or drifting without purpose.
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On the flip side, completely cutting kids off can hurt the relationship and make life much harder for them. One commenter who went through it said being left on their own “was beyond miserable” and didn’t actually help them get ahead.
Others said going through hard times doesn’t automatically make someone stronger. “The struggle set me back,” one person wrote, saying money problems made it harder to focus on their future.
Many agreed the goal isn’t strict rules, but figuring out how to help in a way that actually moves things forward.