Labour MP Ian Lavery complains of ‘seagulls the size of jumbo jets’ Tags:United Kingdom 14 comments Labour MP Ian Lavery needs to share whatever he’s smoking No Ian, these seagulls are small. That jumbo jet is far away. Small. Far away. Visit St Andrews or Aberdeen and this isn’t that hyperbolic to be fair… In other news, tedious literal-mindedness sees a sharp increase as an entirely straightforward use of hyperbole baffles MPs and journalists alike. In case you be lost here; from yeterday: >Independent: [‘Levelling up’ fund rules allow ministers to hand billions to favoured areas, MPs warn](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/levelling-up-fund-michael-gove-b2095859.html) > >Criteria for success decided only after Michael Gove’s team knew which bidders ‘would win and who would not’ – >Sky News: [Ministers accused of gambling billions on ‘little more than a slogan’ in levelling-up funds report](https://news.sky.com/story/ministers-accused-of-gambling-billions-on-little-more-than-a-slogan-in-levelling-up-funds-report-12629565) > >The government decided on a set of principles for how to allocate £1.7bn to a series of schemes only after they had decided which bids were to succeed, according to a select committee report. – >Mirror: [Damning report says Tories squandered billions on unfair ‘levelling-up’ fund](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/damning-report-says-tories-squandered-27172368) > >MPs have highlighted how the first round of the £1.7bn Levelling-Up Fund was only awarded after the ministry knew the identities of shortlisted bidders. He must be great fun at airports These seagulls are scared! They don’t know why they’re so massive! See if they removed the protection I recon you could deal with the problem in about a week. What nobody’s realised is that he’s really complaining about the inadequate proportions of the jumbo jets up north. Does leveling up mean Super Mushrooms for him? Then the plumbers of Wansbeck can fight off the gulls Well, you feed beef burgers to seagulls! Rockin’, rockin’, and rollin’, down to the beach I’m strollin’, but the seagulls poke at my head, not fun, I said “seagulls, mmgh, stop it now” Is he taking a turn for the worse? Hyperbole now needs a /h tag here too to go with the /s tag we need constantly? Leave a ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.
In other news, tedious literal-mindedness sees a sharp increase as an entirely straightforward use of hyperbole baffles MPs and journalists alike.
In case you be lost here; from yeterday: >Independent: [‘Levelling up’ fund rules allow ministers to hand billions to favoured areas, MPs warn](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/levelling-up-fund-michael-gove-b2095859.html) > >Criteria for success decided only after Michael Gove’s team knew which bidders ‘would win and who would not’ – >Sky News: [Ministers accused of gambling billions on ‘little more than a slogan’ in levelling-up funds report](https://news.sky.com/story/ministers-accused-of-gambling-billions-on-little-more-than-a-slogan-in-levelling-up-funds-report-12629565) > >The government decided on a set of principles for how to allocate £1.7bn to a series of schemes only after they had decided which bids were to succeed, according to a select committee report. – >Mirror: [Damning report says Tories squandered billions on unfair ‘levelling-up’ fund](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/damning-report-says-tories-squandered-27172368) > >MPs have highlighted how the first round of the £1.7bn Levelling-Up Fund was only awarded after the ministry knew the identities of shortlisted bidders.
What nobody’s realised is that he’s really complaining about the inadequate proportions of the jumbo jets up north.
Rockin’, rockin’, and rollin’, down to the beach I’m strollin’, but the seagulls poke at my head, not fun, I said “seagulls, mmgh, stop it now”
14 comments
Labour MP Ian Lavery needs to share whatever he’s smoking
No Ian, these seagulls are small.
That jumbo jet is far away.
Small. Far away.
Visit St Andrews or Aberdeen and this isn’t that hyperbolic to be fair…
In other news, tedious literal-mindedness sees a sharp increase as an entirely straightforward use of hyperbole baffles MPs and journalists alike.
In case you be lost here; from yeterday:
>Independent: [‘Levelling up’ fund rules allow ministers to hand billions to favoured areas, MPs warn](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/levelling-up-fund-michael-gove-b2095859.html)
>
>Criteria for success decided only after Michael Gove’s team knew which bidders ‘would win and who would not’
–
>Sky News: [Ministers accused of gambling billions on ‘little more than a slogan’ in levelling-up funds report](https://news.sky.com/story/ministers-accused-of-gambling-billions-on-little-more-than-a-slogan-in-levelling-up-funds-report-12629565)
>
>The government decided on a set of principles for how to allocate £1.7bn to a series of schemes only after they had decided which bids were to succeed, according to a select committee report.
–
>Mirror: [Damning report says Tories squandered billions on unfair ‘levelling-up’ fund](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/damning-report-says-tories-squandered-27172368)
>
>MPs have highlighted how the first round of the £1.7bn Levelling-Up Fund was only awarded after the ministry knew the identities of shortlisted bidders.
He must be great fun at airports
These seagulls are scared! They don’t know why they’re so massive!
See if they removed the protection I recon you could deal with the problem in about a week.
What nobody’s realised is that he’s really complaining about the inadequate proportions of the jumbo jets up north.
Does leveling up mean Super Mushrooms for him? Then the plumbers of Wansbeck can fight off the gulls
Well, you feed beef burgers to seagulls!
Rockin’, rockin’, and rollin’,
down to the beach I’m strollin’,
but the seagulls poke at my head, not fun,
I said “seagulls, mmgh, stop it now”
Is he taking a turn for the worse?
Hyperbole now needs a /h tag here too to go with the /s tag we need constantly?