While everyone was justifiably losing their minds over Israel, Russia, and the United States of America’s empire-building bullshit, the Trump administration released some more alleged UFO videos captured by the American military. I would have thought that Trump’s more or less writing a Dummies Guide to War Crimes would be enough to distract us from talking about his involvement in the Epstein files, but Aliens are always cool. However, you may have missed the cherry on top of the government’s don’t-mention-pedophilia sundae, earlier this week. According to the Vice President, JD Vance, those aren’t aliens flying those saucers, but demons.
The God-fearing vice-president’s fixation, it was further revealed, extended to the question of the existence of extraplanetary beings, and where they might fit into a wider conversation about religion.
“I don’t think they’re aliens, I think they’re demons anyway, but that’s a longer discussion,” he said.
Johnson asked him to expand.
“Well, look, I think that celestial beings who fly around, who do weird things to people. I think that the desire to describe everything celestial, everything is otherworldly, to describe it as aliens,” Vance said.
“Every great world religion, including Christianity, the one that I believe in, has understood that there are weird things out there, and there are things that are very difficult to explain. And I naturally go, when I hear about sort of extra-natural phenomenon, that’s where I go, is the Christian understanding that, you know, there’s a lot of good out there, but there’s also some evil out there.
“I think that one of the devil’s great tricks is to convince people he never existed.”
My dude. If you’re trying to convince folks you don’t exist, flying your ass around in a mystery disk for everyone to see is maybe not the best plan. And anyway, I prefer Mojo Nixon’s explanation.
I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better knowing that everyone’s favorite couch-pumper has his finger on the pulse of the space-alien-demon-disapearing-devil situation. Surely, the greatest threat to face our civilization to date.