“I’d still pick Boris over Starmer as prime minister” says Tory voter helplessly watching Johnson have sex with his girlfriend

26 comments

  1. All I care about politically is getting PR.

    Everything else is just fiddling whilst the two party system shifts the Overton Window forever rightwards and burns the UK down.

  3. Really wish Labour would get their act together. Either split into two parties or stop in-fighting. We’re basically a one-party state at the moment because the opposition are busy running their own little civil war.

  4. The sad thing is I used to love satirical parodies, but now I really struggle to tell the difference between them and standard news articles. The Daily Mash just reads like a regular news site now

  6. When you recall that The Sun’s political editor is Harry Cole (who was cuckolded by Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds behind his back), there is absolutely no reaching for the fantastical in this NewsThump ‘satire’.

  7. At this point, the only satire thing about this would be, that’s probably not the full story.

    He probably paid for the sex from the Tory voters old Nan’s Pension credits, that he picked up for her as a “good deed” and still short changed the girlfriend. Then asked the Tory voter for taxi money home, whilst eating the last of their food they got at the local food bank.

  8. It’s a two party system, you have to vote for one of us.

    Well I believe I’ll vote for a third party.

    Go ahead, throw away your vote.

  9. Well, I’d spoze he’d suck Boris off for him too, if Boris asked him to, wile his girlfriend watched, just for his autograph. What a sad bloke. I wonder if he has a girlfriend and if so, will she be with him for much longer, after reading what he’s said.

  11. Every sun and fail reader.

    They’ll always vote tory cause the papers tell them too. They blame labour for everything cause they get told to blame labour.

    The papers literally control their readers and can get them to do what they tell them too.

    So then they all voted brexit because the EU was bad.

    So, I gave up after that. I do have a chuckle at the headlines sometimes, don’t even get mad anymore.

    Just watching the world burn now. Front row seat.

    We’re all going down together lads.

  13. I still get people saying “Still prefer Boris to Corbyn” – this is the general level of awareness and every fuckwit’s vote counts just the same as someone who actually knows anything

  14. It does feel like as utterly deplorable as Johnson and his supporters in government are it’s quite damning that Labour haven’t hacked away at him.

    You’re not in government now, why such a timid approach?

    Taxes are up, cost of living is up, public services are being choked. We can’t really do anything of note around Brexit. It’s crazy.

  17. Boris and his chums have been fucking every non-millionaire Briton for 12 years now.

    Tory voters have acute Stockholm syndrome.

  19. I was talking to a very working class colleague who said Boris is the best of the bunch. Likes he gets away with stuff etc. We have an equal vote, there is no hope

  21. Thankfully Boris helped him to see his girlfriend for what she is. Seriously though why pick two candidates from the bottom of the list.

  22. > mumbling something in Latin

    Is this referring to something specifically, or is it just roundabout way of saying he’s posh?

  25. “Thank god it’s not Corbyn, with him my girlfriend would have had one of those female orgasms I hear about as he’s a filthy communist, at least with Boris I know she will be as unsatisfied as if I were having sex with her”

  26. Johnson could have shagged anyone one with breats in the cabinet and it would surprise nobody. He’s the scorpion on the fox’s back. He can’t help it. It’s his nature.

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