“It was shocking news, as anyone would think,” Stamenic tells the Herald. “I just remember telling my mum, just be calm and just wait for me, I’m going to be on my way now.
“I just remember catching the first flight out straight to Greece to meet with my mum and sister. That period where I was on the phone, I didn’t really know what to make of it. I was trying to stay strong, more for them, on the phone and then when I got on the plane, I just broke down and cried.
“I was in complete disbelief. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know if they were playing a prank on me … because it’s just something you could never imagine. It’s your worst nightmare, losing a parent and especially with a relationship I had with my father.”
To say that Stamenic had a close bond with his father, Niko, doesn’t do justice to the word. It was immense. They did everything together and Stamenic senior had been his first coach, his mentor and his guiding hand throughout his football career, from when he first pulled on a pair of boots to play for Stokes Valley.
After watching the 2010 World Cup on television as an 8-year-old, Stamenic told his father he wanted to play in the tournament one day. It was the start of a long-held dream and many sacrifices.
“I remember him saying ‘let’s do it, son’,” Stamenic says. “From that point onwards, we had made an agreement that he’s going to do everything possible to get me to that point.”
Niko Stamenic was never too forceful, too intense, too pushy, though always honest.
“It was just the right balance,” says Stamenic. “He was always asking me, ‘You want me to tell you the truth or you want me to be, you know, easy?’ I would say, I love the truth.”
The pair would talk football endlessly, especially on the drives to Ole Football Academy in Porirua four or five times a week, a sometimes 90-minute round trip.
“He would park aside the good things I would do and more tell me what the things I could improve on,” says Stamenic.
Stamenic also remembers sitting in his bedroom watching his taped matches. There would be “fun conversations” but also plenty of debate.
“He would pause it and say maybe you could do this, maybe do that, then we would discuss it,” Stamenic says. “Ninety per cent of the time it turned into us arguing but that was the love he showed for me. That was the massive role he played … I wouldn’t be in this position if I didn’t have my dad throughout those years.”
One piece of advice, as he came up through the grades, always resonated.
“He would always encourage me to do something special in a game, do something that someone would remember when they watch you,” says Stamenic. “You only have two minutes, on the ball, if you look at a 90-minute game, so you have to build an impression in that time.”
The youngster certainly did, good enough to make the New Zealand squad for the 2019 Under-17 Fifa World Cup, where he stood out in a match against Brazil. That led to being signed by an agent – who flew from Europe to ink the deal – then a move to Denmark in September 2020. From there, he has blossomed, part of title-winning teams in three countries with FC Copenhagen (Denmark), Red Star Belgrade (Serbia) and Olympiacos (Greece).
But back in October last year, Stamenic didn’t know if he would – or wanted to kick a ball again, as he spent time with his mother, Kalala, and his sister, Lola – “trying to process everything” after his father’s sudden passing.
“I didn’t have a plan of what I was going to do,” Stamenic says.
But he eventually decided that football was the only way forward.
“What Dad would have wanted is for us to continue,” Stamenic says. “He would have wanted me to continue with football, my sister with her studies and my mum to continue with her dreams.”
The call was made – but the return was still daunting. He decided to come back for the next international window, where the All Whites would face Colombia and Ecuador in the United States.
“I thought that would be the best transition back,” Stamenic says, “[But] I had no idea how I would react to it. I was quite scared, to be honest. How would it be? I didn’t know if I would be still the same person, same player, same friend as before.”
All Whites coach Darren Bazeley remembers the delicate phase.
“It was a terrible, terrible time for him,” Bazeley recalled. “Then Marco came into camp and everybody was worried and supportive. Internally, he had support from everybody, but you know, Marco’s such a great person.
“We had talked to him about what he wants … does he need this; does he need that? He was determined to play through and play on. We’re pretty close as a whole group and we definitely got around him. But we didn’t over-talk about it. He wanted to deal with it his own way. He was able to go out and represent his country, knowing he was playing for his dad. But in those moments, it’s hard to know what he was going through internally.”
Fellow All White and roommate Matt Garbett – a close friend for 15 years – was a great source of support.
“We weren’t talking too much about my dad but he was just being there for me … that’s all you want in that situation,” Stamenic says.
It also helped that his mother, sister and girlfriend were there, while his teammates were immense.
“They’ve helped me get back into football,” Stamenic says. “I couldn’t have thanked them any more for what they’ve done for me, especially on that tour.”
His club, Swansea, was also “incredible” in the circumstances, telling him to take as much time as he needed. After that tour, his mother and sister relocated to the Welsh city, so the family unit could be together.
“It helped all of us heal,” Stamenic says. “I didn’t think it would be a good idea for us to be separate.”
Stamenic made his All Whites debut in August 2021. He quickly became a mainstay and has barely missed a game since, earning 41 caps. He’s a unique talent; strong in the tackle, fast across the ground, composed in possession and with the vision to play the right pass.
Those attributes have been demonstrated at this tournament. He was solid against Iran – in a game where he was forced to cover a lot of territory as it stretched out – then stepped up in the Egypt clash, shown with the forceful run as he beat three defenders before setting up Elijah Just for a chance.
On Friday (Saturday 3pm NZ time), Belgium will be the biggest test yet, with the quality of their players, headed by former Manchester City supremo Kevin De Bruyne. Stamenic, as always, will be vital. And as always, he will look to the heavens as he runs onto the field, thinking of his father.
“I know he’s not here physically, but I know he’s here spiritually,” Stamenic says. “I’m a big believer in that and I see signs of him in many different ways. I know he would be proud of me.”
Bazeley, like everyone in the All Whites environment, recalls Niko Stamenic with great fondness.
“Everybody knew him,” Bazeley says. “He came into camp and followed the team around the world. He was so proud of Marko and they are such a tight family.”
After the World Cup, Stamenic will return to Swansea. His mother will relocate to London – only a few hours away – while his sister plans to study in England.
“A lot of change has happened in our life,” Stamenic says. “And as horrific and bad as it is, losing my dad, now we’re just trying to make the most out of it and make the most out of life because that’s all you can really do.”
Michael Burgess has been a Sports Journalist for the New Zealand Herald since 2005, covering the Olympics, Fifa World Cups, and America’s Cup campaigns. He is a co-host of the Big League podcast.
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