>Boris Johnson is confident he can remain as the Prime Minister indefinitely, due the goldfish-like nature of the collective consciousness of the British voting public.
>
>As Boris explained to his inner circle, “*Sure, today, we can talk about resigning. But I talk about a lot of things. I can stand out side Downing Street and say I’m going, but again, I say a lot of things.*
>
>“*I am confident that a couple of months from now, after my new cabinet have introduced some popular tax cuts and bribed the electorate in a few other glaringly transparent ways, voters will start to worry about someone new coming in.*
>
>“*Then all I have to do is get a few people to nominate me, and Bob’s your uncle as the proles say. Rather than working under the sword of Damocles, it will be taken down and used to knight me as the new leader reborn.*
>
>“*The nation will forget all about me being forced to resign, and will once again feel comfort knowing they are under my charge. A bit of sunshine, a few extra pennies in their pockets and they’ll feel much better about everything – me included.”* …
All joking aside, I do think it’s notable that in his “resignation speech”, he never actually said he was resigning.
But I think this is more a pride thing.
I never resigned. I didn’t give up.
I went down fighting. Fighting for the British people.
No, they’ll still be laughing.
I’m sure quite soon, sadly, the Russia problem will escalate and we’ll be at war with the Axis Of Evil. We’ll need a Government Of National Unity led by a proven war Prime Minister like Johnson/ Churchill.
Rational voices like Starmer’s will be listened to and cautious voices like Corbyn’s will also be listened to, ignored and quickly locked up as fifth columnists.
That just about sums him up!
He certainly hopes people will forget about all this soon enough and I suspect he hopes his successor will be very unpopular as they attempt to fix the mess Johnson has left them. Johnson will then sit in the sidelines and claim “At least I was never this useless.” without a hint of irony.
Why? What mountain of scandals is he about to dump now to cover over and “make us forget” his resignation?
This is..
… boris, the spice diaries.
Just like he was pretty confident everyone would forget about the lockdown parties by the time Sue Gray published her report.
How is this satire? This is closer to reality than is comfortable.
Until he puts it in writing we need to stop saying he’s resigned. He hasn’t.
Furiously f5ing that place.
Reckon Carrie and Boris will be scheming something to fuck us over and in effect will try and distract and lead us to argue amonst ourselves.
14 comments
How is this satire? 🤔
>Boris Johnson is confident he can remain as the Prime Minister indefinitely, due the goldfish-like nature of the collective consciousness of the British voting public.
>
>As Boris explained to his inner circle, “*Sure, today, we can talk about resigning. But I talk about a lot of things. I can stand out side Downing Street and say I’m going, but again, I say a lot of things.*
>
>“*I am confident that a couple of months from now, after my new cabinet have introduced some popular tax cuts and bribed the electorate in a few other glaringly transparent ways, voters will start to worry about someone new coming in.*
>
>“*Then all I have to do is get a few people to nominate me, and Bob’s your uncle as the proles say. Rather than working under the sword of Damocles, it will be taken down and used to knight me as the new leader reborn.*
>
>“*The nation will forget all about me being forced to resign, and will once again feel comfort knowing they are under my charge. A bit of sunshine, a few extra pennies in their pockets and they’ll feel much better about everything – me included.”* …
All joking aside, I do think it’s notable that in his “resignation speech”, he never actually said he was resigning.
But I think this is more a pride thing.
I never resigned. I didn’t give up.
I went down fighting. Fighting for the British people.
No, they’ll still be laughing.
I’m sure quite soon, sadly, the Russia problem will escalate and we’ll be at war with the Axis Of Evil. We’ll need a Government Of National Unity led by a proven war Prime Minister like Johnson/ Churchill.
Rational voices like Starmer’s will be listened to and cautious voices like Corbyn’s will also be listened to, ignored and quickly locked up as fifth columnists.
That just about sums him up!
He certainly hopes people will forget about all this soon enough and I suspect he hopes his successor will be very unpopular as they attempt to fix the mess Johnson has left them. Johnson will then sit in the sidelines and claim “At least I was never this useless.” without a hint of irony.
Why? What mountain of scandals is he about to dump now to cover over and “make us forget” his resignation?
This is..
… boris, the spice diaries.
Just like he was pretty confident everyone would forget about the lockdown parties by the time Sue Gray published her report.
How is this satire? This is closer to reality than is comfortable.
Until he puts it in writing we need to stop saying he’s resigned. He hasn’t.
Furiously f5ing that place.
Reckon Carrie and Boris will be scheming something to fuck us over and in effect will try and distract and lead us to argue amonst ourselves.