This country is like a frog in a pot over a flame. We are sliding into oblivion
That is awful and completely insensitive to say, what person thinks that is the appropriate response to someone saying they need help and wish to self harm.
It’s way more common than people think, have a bath or a nice sit in the garden is another couple I’ve heard, that’s if they even bother answering the phone rather than letting it ring to answerphone.
Thanks Tories
That might work for a minute as a distraction but it does nothing to change the underlying problem that is contributing to self-harm. It is the same with eating disorders, alcoholism, drugs etc. People need help treating an underlying issue so that they finally quit self-destructive behaviours for good or at least have the tools needed to fight the urges in the future. I’m a recovered anorexic myself and looking after my mental health is a full-time job in itself, making a cup of tea just does not help me feel better. People with no experience of mental health issues should not be giving advice like this to serious cases, they should be escalating help to a proper service, however none of those exist.
I want to know the full context of the conversation before I get outraged at this. The source is someone saying a young person was told this.
Well… Yeah? It’s good advice. Break the immediate risk by helping someone distract themselves. It’s NOT good advice if that’s the only advice. The difference between someone trying to help you calm down, by suggesting you run a bath and make a brew to break the immediate threat, is a world of difference from saying “suicidal? here’s some radox. see ya!”
Why am i not surprised by this?
I was told I should skateboard when I was under the crisis team because I dress like a skater
>It is most ~~often~~ **politically correct to be** described as a way to express or cope with emotional distress.
There is the attention aspect to be considered also.
That’s heart breaking. They forgot to tell her to have a ‘stiff upper lip’, that would have completed the 1800s era support service at least, but they couldn’t even manage that! I hope she was able to sip that cup of tea with her trembling upper lip! /s
You know when people get pulled down off somewhere they were planning to jump from? well that’s what they’ve been offered now for years
You go to the hospital, but the psych staff don’t really work nights
May as well just jingle your fucking keys in front of them like trying to distract a baby for all the good it does – nobody cares about the suicidal
“Feeling sad? Well keep calm and carry on!”
Tell me I am wrong but I always found it helps just to cram as much stuff into my day as possible, if I am always doing things I don’t have time to think about bad things. Take up lots of hobbies that you like to do.
Genuine question to the self harmers on the thread: what would be a helpful thing for professionals to say to you whilst you are in crisis?
I know that having good quality therapy would be one of the answers but therapy is often difficult and destabilising so isn’t an option for those who are actively suicidal and self harming. What would be helpful?
Things my wife has been told to do for complex mental health issues-
Have a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Pray to Jesus.
Tidy the house.
Breathe.
Things we have asked for but not got-
Proper counselling.
Medication reviews.
Help.
Things we didn’t ask for but got-
Told off for asking for help.
Told off for “refusing treatment” for saying CBT for the 3rd time won’t help.
Yeah my experience of being ‘treated’ for anxiety, depression and PTSD was basically ‘here’s some meds, now go pull yourself together!’ Useless! The meds were equally useless. They did absolutely nothing except waste money on prescription charges.
Was Jordan Peterson giving out advice again?
A cup of tea is a panacea
reading a number of posts on here, I want to ask what I hope is not an offensive question.
we all know people with mental difficulties, I have a very dim view psychologists.
I even have the view that psychologists make people worse not better. I have never known a person “cured” by seeing a psycologist and I have observed this at close hand with family members.
Do psychologists cure you?
Its difficult to define cured, we all have quirks but I’m thinking in laymans terms – ability to live a normal life, go to work, go out etc
this is actually super common, and has been going on for years. ask any group of young people who’ve had experience with CAMHS and around 80-90% have probably been told this at some point, it’s almost a cliche at this point.
i remember a CAMHS nurse on tiktok telling people to stop telling stories about stuff like this and she got thousands of comments essentially telling her to fck off and stop victim blaming. all in all it was ironically a pretty good representation of the attitudes of a lot of people who work there.
Tbf I know the services are shite but anyone who’s been in therapy for self harm will tell you one of the tactics they give you is to do something else/give yourself a task before you self harm because oftentimes if you can’t do it straight away the urge passes. It’s not a long term solution, but if you’re ringing the crisis line they’ll suggest it.
Doesn’t work for everything, and I know the services themselves are shit, but something to consider.
I think a huge amount of mental health advice is misconstrued by people who don’t understand the underlying aim of the person giving treatment. You might say you could put them in a mental health ward but all they do there is give you tea too, and you aren’t allowed to make it. Either way the tea isn’t just because we are British.
Crisis services are useless but mainly because they are incapable of distinguishing between real mental disorder and who just needs a chat. The scale of the mental health problem in this country is massive but a significant majority of people with mental health conditions don’t follow the advice given because they don’t think it works or refuse because it’s not a quick fix. Mental health conditions and mental disorders are not like treating a broken leg.
22 comments
This country is like a frog in a pot over a flame. We are sliding into oblivion
That is awful and completely insensitive to say, what person thinks that is the appropriate response to someone saying they need help and wish to self harm.
It’s way more common than people think, have a bath or a nice sit in the garden is another couple I’ve heard, that’s if they even bother answering the phone rather than letting it ring to answerphone.
Thanks Tories
That might work for a minute as a distraction but it does nothing to change the underlying problem that is contributing to self-harm. It is the same with eating disorders, alcoholism, drugs etc. People need help treating an underlying issue so that they finally quit self-destructive behaviours for good or at least have the tools needed to fight the urges in the future. I’m a recovered anorexic myself and looking after my mental health is a full-time job in itself, making a cup of tea just does not help me feel better. People with no experience of mental health issues should not be giving advice like this to serious cases, they should be escalating help to a proper service, however none of those exist.
I want to know the full context of the conversation before I get outraged at this. The source is someone saying a young person was told this.
Well… Yeah? It’s good advice. Break the immediate risk by helping someone distract themselves. It’s NOT good advice if that’s the only advice. The difference between someone trying to help you calm down, by suggesting you run a bath and make a brew to break the immediate threat, is a world of difference from saying “suicidal? here’s some radox. see ya!”
Why am i not surprised by this?
I was told I should skateboard when I was under the crisis team because I dress like a skater
>It is most ~~often~~ **politically correct to be** described as a way to express or cope with emotional distress.
There is the attention aspect to be considered also.
That’s heart breaking. They forgot to tell her to have a ‘stiff upper lip’, that would have completed the 1800s era support service at least, but they couldn’t even manage that! I hope she was able to sip that cup of tea with her trembling upper lip! /s
You know when people get pulled down off somewhere they were planning to jump from? well that’s what they’ve been offered now for years
You go to the hospital, but the psych staff don’t really work nights
May as well just jingle your fucking keys in front of them like trying to distract a baby for all the good it does – nobody cares about the suicidal
“Feeling sad? Well keep calm and carry on!”
Tell me I am wrong but I always found it helps just to cram as much stuff into my day as possible, if I am always doing things I don’t have time to think about bad things. Take up lots of hobbies that you like to do.
Genuine question to the self harmers on the thread: what would be a helpful thing for professionals to say to you whilst you are in crisis?
I know that having good quality therapy would be one of the answers but therapy is often difficult and destabilising so isn’t an option for those who are actively suicidal and self harming. What would be helpful?
Things my wife has been told to do for complex mental health issues-
Have a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Pray to Jesus.
Tidy the house.
Breathe.
Things we have asked for but not got-
Proper counselling.
Medication reviews.
Help.
Things we didn’t ask for but got-
Told off for asking for help.
Told off for “refusing treatment” for saying CBT for the 3rd time won’t help.
Yeah my experience of being ‘treated’ for anxiety, depression and PTSD was basically ‘here’s some meds, now go pull yourself together!’ Useless! The meds were equally useless. They did absolutely nothing except waste money on prescription charges.
Was Jordan Peterson giving out advice again?
A cup of tea is a panacea
reading a number of posts on here, I want to ask what I hope is not an offensive question.
we all know people with mental difficulties, I have a very dim view psychologists.
I even have the view that psychologists make people worse not better. I have never known a person “cured” by seeing a psycologist and I have observed this at close hand with family members.
Do psychologists cure you?
Its difficult to define cured, we all have quirks but I’m thinking in laymans terms – ability to live a normal life, go to work, go out etc
this is actually super common, and has been going on for years. ask any group of young people who’ve had experience with CAMHS and around 80-90% have probably been told this at some point, it’s almost a cliche at this point.
i remember a CAMHS nurse on tiktok telling people to stop telling stories about stuff like this and she got thousands of comments essentially telling her to fck off and stop victim blaming. all in all it was ironically a pretty good representation of the attitudes of a lot of people who work there.
Tbf I know the services are shite but anyone who’s been in therapy for self harm will tell you one of the tactics they give you is to do something else/give yourself a task before you self harm because oftentimes if you can’t do it straight away the urge passes. It’s not a long term solution, but if you’re ringing the crisis line they’ll suggest it.
Doesn’t work for everything, and I know the services themselves are shit, but something to consider.
I think a huge amount of mental health advice is misconstrued by people who don’t understand the underlying aim of the person giving treatment. You might say you could put them in a mental health ward but all they do there is give you tea too, and you aren’t allowed to make it. Either way the tea isn’t just because we are British.
Crisis services are useless but mainly because they are incapable of distinguishing between real mental disorder and who just needs a chat. The scale of the mental health problem in this country is massive but a significant majority of people with mental health conditions don’t follow the advice given because they don’t think it works or refuse because it’s not a quick fix. Mental health conditions and mental disorders are not like treating a broken leg.