Is holding off on sending your children to school a good idea?

27 comments

1. The short answer is yes, they’re too young at 4 imo.

2. My personal opinion is they are too young at 4, I’d be in favour of a Finnish style system where they dont go until much later, 7 or 8 I think I read.

3. I would agree with sending them later however the issue I’d have is if it was my kid them then being 2 years older than everyone in their class. Wouldn’t be an issue when they’re younger but when they get to secondary etc being 15 in first year and everyone else being 13 could be difficult for them.

4. Depends on the child but 4 does seem quite young.

   The child needs to have started school by the time they are 6 so realistically that means the September before their 6th birthday.

5. A lot of schools won’t take kids at 4 unless they turn 5 before a certain point in the school year. Especially smaller schools where kids that are 4 end up leaving/being held back because they’re too young and end up wasting a coveted space. I don’t see the benefits of going at 4 or a hindrance of going at 5.

   I knew of a child who turned 4 only 2 weeks before starting school and was only sent so his parents would get time away from him. Unsurprisingly, he had a hard time and ended up being pulled out

6. We’re facing that option of our eldest starting when she’s 4 or doing a second year of ECCE and starting when she’s 5, turning 6 about 5 months later.

   She’s the first and eldest with two more set to start the year after and again after that. I think the youngest will be 4, turning 5 in her first month of school when she starts, but at that point, they’re gonna have two older siblings who have done it and will be well prepared themselves.

   My mantra would be that the first be 5 when they start primary.

7. There’s a lot of people who hold off on sending their child to school because that’s what everyone else is doing, regardless of where the child is developmentally. Oh you don’t want to be the odd one out.

   I’ve two children that are too young for school now and we’re going through all this fear, uncertainty and doubt – mostly coming from anxious types on Whatsapp groups.

   My daughter will be starting September 2023 when she’s 4 1/2. She’s started reading and writing a little bit and is highly emotionally intelligent. She’ll be bored with Montessori next year. We’ve made the decision based on where she is, and not the general nebulous worries of other parents.

8. I think if a child is turning six in the October, they would be expected to go to school in the September while they’re five.

   I dunno if technically they could hold off until the year after but then they’d be among kids who are emotionally much younger than them.

9. I think you have to send your kids to primary the school year in which they turn 6.
   I wouldn’t send them before that personally, when I was a kid the ones that got too early had problems later on.
   But I wouldn’t send them in later either, say you send them at 8, then they would finish high school w years later of everyone else and for sure they wouldn’t thank you for that

10. Basically it’s very dependent on the child. Both my kids started at 4, but turned five in the school year. Initially tentative because some kids were already 5, it’s worked out fine.

    Our main concerns were that waiting another year would mean they’d be bored out of their tree for that extra year in ECCE, and consequently quite bored in Junior & Senior infants too.

11. 4 can be too young. It can also be just right.

    Judge based on the child. Not the age.

12. I think it depends on each individual kid.
    Are they mature enough? Will they be okay on their own or are they still babyish. Are they big enough? Probably more important for boys, but you don’t want your kid being way smaller than everyone else. Also spending a few years in a creche is good preparation rather than a childminder.

    Being 20% or 25% older than other kids does give an advantage. Malcolm Gladwell gave a good explanation of this looking at professional athletes in team sports. The majority are born in January to March whereas the birthdays should be distributed evenly over 12 months. This is because when they start off playing aged 5 to 10, being up to a year older gives a huge advantage. This carries through to adulthood as all along they are seen as the best, given more attention by coaches and more likely to get onto elite team.

    So, for going to school, being older probably does give an advantage but it really depends on each individual kid.

13. My only issue with a child starting school at 4 is you may end up with them starting college/university at 17. Now if they aren’t ones for going to pubs/clubs it’s probably not a big deal but realistically the majority will be wanting to go out with their new college friends and being the only one not able to get into places could put an extra pressure on what would already be a daunting experience.

    I don’t have children but if I did I’d wait until I could guarantee they’d be 18 starting college/university, assuming they want to go when the time comes of course.

14. I started school at 3 (was going to be 4 within 2 months of starting and my dad was the principal so he fudged the books a bit for those 2 months. I was on the younger end of the kids in my class at the time but it didn’t bother me and I did transition year so wasn’t that young going to college. For my own I’d probably go for 4 unless I think she won’t do well at that age. I’d like her to start learning and be socialised into a school structure relatively early as I think it helped me.

    Each to their own and I’m sure different parents have different reasons for sending/keeping the kids at home but I think a 6 year old going into junior infants is a bit too old and it means you’re almost 20 finishing school.

15. I started at 4, wasn’t too bad. I was just slightly younger than most people but then by the end of secondary school, the people who skipped TY and went straight into 5th year were younger than me. I turned 18 during the exams; wouldn’t want to have started uni if I was still 17 though – even though I didn’t really do the fresheners week party thing

16. Teacher here. I’ve never seen a child that I thought was sent to school too old. However, I’ve seen quite a few that blatantly went too young…and their ability to read/write when coming in isn’t a sign of school readiness. It’s things like social skills, emotional maturity, fine motor skills etc that matter for going to school.

    If in doubt, keep them out another year. Most kids are coming in to my school at 5 nowadays.

17. My brother (middle child) was sent at 4. He didn’t do great and was bullied by kids for being the quite kid. He was held back in 1st class I think and thrived. He became much more confident and started to enjoy school.

    My mam kept me in pre school an extra year because of what happened to my brother. My birthday is october, so was 4 turning 5 but if I went a year earlier would be 3 going 4. Some of the kids in the older class were younger than me which was funny at the time.

    Usually the pre school teacher will speak to the parents and let them know if they think they should wait a year or go to primary. Sometimes they would say yeah they are grand to move but work on these skills over the summer with them.

18. Mine will have just turned 5 starting primary school, we’re giving no consideration to when he’s just turned 4. It’s too early imo.

19. I got sent at just gone 4 for numbers in school, I had never been to playschool so I was too young really, I stayed back a year when I was 6, I was the youngest in the class and was in the middle age wise when I stayed back and was just 18 going to college which was great, have a friend whose almost a year to the day younger than me and had an awful time in first year with regards to socialising. My daughter just turned four and is heading into her second year of playschool (thanks ecce) and will be just gone 5 starting school.

20. I was in my 3rd year of University in Scotland the year my Irish friends/relations the same age left school.. do you really want to be 19 finishing.. I wasn’t even 17 and everything was fine and dandy..

21. Being older is better purely for sports always was the smallest until I got to secondary made me hate most team sports because of it reason I boxed instead of doing other sports.I was born in august so was nearly 2 years younger than some

22. A pre-school teacher will let you know if a child is ready for primary school or not.

    You basically have two choices, send them to school while they are 4 or 5. If they turn 6 and are not in school, you’re in trouble unless theres a good readon to hold back. In general, boys need the extra time before starting so 5 where as girls can go at 4 or 5.

    The minimum they should be when starting primary is 4yrs6mnths (born in Feb). Any later and they may get excluded from activities their peers are doing due to age or get segregated into a younger group. Generally if a child is 1 or 2 months young for a group they’ll be allowed join the group if they’ve friends in the older group.

    Allowing your child to go to primary school at the youngest possible can give them a leg up in extra curricular activities. They essentially get an extra year learning the activities and tend to fair better, particularly children born in Jan as they get to train at a level one year ahead of their peers.

    If your child needs to be held back a year in 6th class its less of a stigma as once they go into secondary school they’re still on age par with their peers.

    It’s unlikely for them to skip 4th Yr in secondary school (schools won’t allow children skip if their too young finishing) meaning they’ll be happier with the extra year of education. Where as older children tend to feel compelled to skip it.

    In my opinion, it’s hold them back if they aren’t mature enough for primary but push for a place in primary if they are mature enough.

23. It all depends on the kids, I suppose. My brother started at 5 when he would’ve been ready at 4. All the other kids in his class were 4 at the time and he ended up being the oldest and got bored very easily in the classes because he was ahead of the other kids. So my mam put me in at 4 and I did very well. There can be a disadvantage to waiting, I suppose you just have to know your kid and what they’re capable of.

24. I personally think 4 is too young to be sending a kid to school. We could have sent my kid to school when she was just gone 4 but we held off and sent her the following year. Absolutely no issues and she’s more mature and better able to handle it. I’d advise anyone in the same position to do the same, but at the end of the day you know your own kid yourself, do what you think is best.

25. As close to five or older as you can get them. The developmental differences at that age are huge between 4 and 5 and it impacts kids long term because they’re always on the back foot compared to their peers in terms of size but also language/emotional development which really impacts your role in your peer group. I started school at 5 and 4 months, and my sibling started at like 4 and a half – the whole way through school things were much harder for them because they just didn’t have the same maturity.

26. I started school at 4 and was 16 doing my Leaving Cert. Took a year out to work after finishing up my exams and then went to college which I am glad I done in hindsight.

27. Doesn’t the ECCE scheme start at 3? It’s not technically school but I found my child really benefitted from her time in Montessori, which she started at age 4. I would not send a child to actual school, until 5 though, which would be junior infants. I’ve seen kids start at 4 in junior infants which is too young I think, but 5 seems ok to me.