Hey,
Does anyone have any experience in “birdnesting”/”nesting” (could not find more academic terminology for the concept so far) after a divorce ?
[A BBC article that explains the concept](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210804-birdnesting-the-divorce-trend-in-which-parents-rotate-homes)
Basically, instead of each parent moving to a different place and having the kid(s) moving every week or so, the kid stays in the familiy house and the parents move in/out every week.
Apart from stability for the kid (wich is a huge plus, don’t get me wrong) I can only see disadvantages for this but maybe I’m wrong.
14 comments
Wouldn’t that require three places of residence rather than two?
That’s all well and good if both parents can afford another place
That sounds overly complex, a lot of hassle and ends up costing more money. Plus it uses up another residence that someone else could avail of.
I’d support it, if there was space. Can’t expect parents to sleep in the same room even if at separate times. There is also the issue of cost. You’d be expecting to pay for 2 properties essentially which makes it expensive. Also work would need to be near enough so that you can go to it. No good my kids in Donegal and me working during the week in Dublin and having 50/50 ownership (that’s the wrong word isn’t it??)
I understand the stability for the kid(s) but it only works if you’re rich… and those kids are messed up entitled lil Feckers anyway!
As someone who travelled between the houses of two separated parents for most of my childhood, birdnesting sounds dumb. Great way to confuse your kids by having both parents continue sharing the marital home (and presumably eventually bringing new partners to it) rather than just having a clean break and moving on with your new reality.
This absolutely would not provide any of the stability it is supposed to. Life after divorce really needs to move on. This prevents that. It also prevents selling and splitting of marital assets. This is literally the pinnacle of helicopter parenting where the obsession around protecting the child does the exact opposite.
Fair play to anyone who can find and afford 3 different homes to try this.
I’ve rarely ever heard of kids swapping households each week. It’s usually weekends and holidays or something like that
If you can handle it with the x it’s a great way to be for the kids.
Initially when I read your post I thought it sounded like a great idea, and makes the best of a shitty situation, but I have no direct experience of divorce at all. I’m curious to see what all the disadvantages you see are.
My asshole uncle (by marriage) is leaving my lovely aunty after 20 years because he’s found some woman who is into jogging. She knew about my aunty and still got with him. Skank.
Anyway, he’s kicking her out and not giving her any money. He offered to buy a house which she could rent at market rate. GENTLEMAN!
Good luck to either parent trying to find a new partner after the divorce. I don’t know many who would put up with that
I think it’s a great idea. The kids are the innocent party, the parents to prioritise their stability
Sounds stupid if I’m being honest.