1. “I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta” – Masai Graham
2. “Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery” – Mark Simmons
3. “My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock” – Olaf Falafel
4. “By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I – but it is the same house and it is the same family” – Hannah Fairweather
5. “I hate funerals – I’m not a mourning person” – Will Mars
6. “I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back” – Olaf Falafel
7. “I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx” – Richard Pulsford
8. “I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery” – Tim Vine
9. “Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate” – Sophie Duker
10. “I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days” – Will Duggan
Sounds a bit clunky to me! Maybe it works better in the set. ‘The female guard’ is a bit wordy!
I’dve given it to the laughing stock from that list!
Am I the only one that finds none of these really funny?
They’re almost as bland as anything from r/jokes
Tim vine still the king of the one liner. You may not like all of his jokes, but he cracks about 500 in a 30 minute set, so one of them must hit home. Legend…oh and bring back whittle channel 5
Is this from the Edinburgh Dad Joke fringe? The winner is fucking terrible and most of the rest are at best chucklesome.
Kevin Federline wanted to be called K Fed when he was married to Britney Spears, and when they split up newspapers were calling him Fed-Ex, so how number 7 got on that list beats me.
It’s basically a slight variation on this old one:
My wife laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a car out of spaghetti.
10 comments
Best of the rest:
Ten jokes made the 2022 shortlist:
1. “I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta” – Masai Graham
2. “Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery” – Mark Simmons
3. “My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock” – Olaf Falafel
4. “By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I – but it is the same house and it is the same family” – Hannah Fairweather
5. “I hate funerals – I’m not a mourning person” – Will Mars
6. “I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back” – Olaf Falafel
7. “I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx” – Richard Pulsford
8. “I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery” – Tim Vine
9. “Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate” – Sophie Duker
10. “I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days” – Will Duggan
Sounds a bit clunky to me! Maybe it works better in the set. ‘The female guard’ is a bit wordy!
I’dve given it to the laughing stock from that list!
Am I the only one that finds none of these really funny?
They’re almost as bland as anything from r/jokes
Tim vine still the king of the one liner. You may not like all of his jokes, but he cracks about 500 in a 30 minute set, so one of them must hit home. Legend…oh and bring back whittle channel 5
Is this from the Edinburgh Dad Joke fringe? The winner is fucking terrible and most of the rest are at best chucklesome.
Kevin Federline wanted to be called K Fed when he was married to Britney Spears, and when they split up newspapers were calling him Fed-Ex, so how number 7 got on that list beats me.
It’s basically a slight variation on this old one:
My wife laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a car out of spaghetti.
She wasn’t laughing when I drove pasta.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4ux4w9/my_wife_laughed_at_me_when_i_told_her_i_was_going/
That pasta joke was in joke books in the 90s
I didn’t think you could win a competition with an old stock-joke. Those things are for padding
An award for best story might be better.