We have a guest in the house this week. First she gives us all covid, now this

44 comments
  1. This is special agent O’Neil from the FBI (Fermoy Butter Inspectors), I need her exact location for an airstrike.

  2. You need to smother them in their sleep, thats not fucking normal sit them down and have a talk and ask them is there something seriously wrong in their life. No need to be doing that to the butter.

  3. It’s okay, they tend to come indoors in September with the change in the weather, but they’re generally harmless. You might want to burn the place down though just in case, haven’t seen them taking a chunk of butter before, they could be evolving.

  4. God there’s nothing worse than a rude houseguest, you can’t fucking escape from them and it can really damage a relationship. My boyfriend’s good pal stayed with us last year- she criticised everything, left the lights and fan on 24/7 in every room, and took giant poos in the toilet that she didn’t flush. Some people need to be politely redirected to a hotel in future lol.

  5. She’s definitely the type of person that leaves the tea bag in for 10 seconds and takes it out without stirring isn’t she?

  6. Unfortunately you’ve encountered a super-spreader who’s bitten off more than she can chew.

    Just hope that she doesn’t attempt to pour a pint of Guinness. It’ll be 75% head.

    …and check the immersion switch, probably left on.

  7. No way that’s a bite. She would have to have taken it out of the wrapper and seeing how soft it is the whole thing would be a mess. Only thing I can think of is she used a serving spoon to cut that chunk out for mash or something.

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