Why did he have to go near to toilet. He knows this is among the worst places for a spider to be. This seems intentional power display.
I’ve arachnophobia, can we please put a tag on these posts!! There was a tiny one in the bed room the other night and I screamed bloody murder, my boyfriend thought I was being murdered. Poor chap had to sit down on the bed to catch his breath while I was still screaming about the spider
Anyways just hand over the keys to him, he’s the house owner now hopefully he won’t be a dodgey landlord
You should have seen the fecker my granny trapped last night, glass wouldn’t cut it, she used a vase.
She just wants to lay eggs in your rectum OP. It’s nice and warm and safe up there and when her babies hatch they can eat you from the inside out.
Time to move.
What county do you reside in? As I will now avoid it. Thanks.
They make their way indoors this time of year. They are harmless and great for keeping insect numbers under control. I’d leave him alone tbh.
Seen a couple of these Giant House spiders recently. The worse, I was working remotely and had a tight deadline to submit a report by midnight. One of these giant fecker spiders was climbing up a curtain inches from my desk. I spent nearly 1 hour in panic mode with one eye on the laptop and the other on the spider, I didn’t have a minute to spare on the work report to catch spider . I count it as my most bravest hour, looking back I don’t know how I done it I didn’t even scream! Normally I would scream, run and go cry somewhere! Mind over matter! After got the report submitted, a glass wasn’t big enough to catch , I got a big bowl to trap spider and waited for my husband to release it. I still have flash backs!
I saw one of these in my bathroom a few years ago. It was on the skirting next to the door so I didn’t see the fucker until I’d locked myself in with it. It was like Fear Factor trying to get out of there.
I see about 4 or 5 of these over aug-november every year, never saw them as a child just last few years.
Id set the entire bathroom on fire
And just like that, constipation be gone… all over floor
It is a normal house spider. They are quite harmless.
Shpiderz
That’s a good spider. He’ll wander the house at night and kill a bunch of bugs. I know they’re creepy to some people but having a few spiders in the house isn’t a bad thing.
See that spider outdoors : ‘Wow, what a fascinating creature.
See that spider in the kitchen or hall: ‘Uh oh, a bloody spider.’
See that bastard anywhere near or in my bedroom :’NO FUCKIN’ WAY. EXTERMINATE!!!’
Found a 4 legged one this morning on the stairs. Cats saw him first apparently.
I was laying on the sofa a few nights ago and one of those massive fuckers ran up my chest towards my face. The speed they move at is unsettling.
That poor spider is no harm to you; he’s just super horny.
Was lying on my bed a couple weeks ago one evening, and saw a movement out the corner of my eye. Gigantic fucker of a house spider (about the same size as your toilet spider) was on the duvet and running full tilt **at** me.
I’ve never shit the bed before, but this was the closest I got. My wife thought I was being a big manchild until she saw it on the floor a short while later.
More than likely that’s the bloke looking for the missus.
She’s probably twice the size of him.
He’ll shoot the biz then be eaten, sad day for him.
Just pee on it
I still have nightmares about these things from an encounter with one when I was a child. Nobody had figured out I had gotten really short sighted at the time and I went to the bathroom one night…came back to my room to see a black splodge on the wall, what I thought was dirt. Put my face up really close to it to see what it was only to realize it was one of those gigantic motherfckers. I started screaming the house down, the spider freaked out and ran off to hide and I wouldn’t go back to bed until my entire room had been turned upside down to find it. Should have just burnt the place down and been done with it
I’ve had to deal with 4 of these fuckers in the last year. Always in the bathroom too.
Eratigena attrica. (giant house spider)
Bolloxes go on a shagging spree in our gaffs between Aug – Oct , males go out looking for some hot arachnid babes so you see em wandering about. The feckers live a good 2 – 6 years so their in your home most of the year / years, Just come out searching for a mate in autumn.
Had one 2 weeks ago that was 10 cm in leg span / was bunched up in a pint glass. Absolute brute. The milder climate caused by global warming is allowing them to grow larger as well as some interbreeding with invasive species.
They can bite but a bee sting would be worse , they much prefer to use their ridcolous 1.7 feet a second running speed to scurry off.
They actually held the guiness world record for fastest spider until 1987 until being bumped of it by Camel spiders which are actually not true spiders. So technically they are still the fastest true spiders on earth.
27 comments
Why did he have to go near to toilet. He knows this is among the worst places for a spider to be. This seems intentional power display.
I’ve arachnophobia, can we please put a tag on these posts!! There was a tiny one in the bed room the other night and I screamed bloody murder, my boyfriend thought I was being murdered. Poor chap had to sit down on the bed to catch his breath while I was still screaming about the spider
Anyways just hand over the keys to him, he’s the house owner now hopefully he won’t be a dodgey landlord
You should have seen the fecker my granny trapped last night, glass wouldn’t cut it, she used a vase.
She just wants to lay eggs in your rectum OP. It’s nice and warm and safe up there and when her babies hatch they can eat you from the inside out.
Time to move.
What county do you reside in? As I will now avoid it. Thanks.
Common giant house spider. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider)
They make their way indoors this time of year. They are harmless and great for keeping insect numbers under control. I’d leave him alone tbh.
Seen a couple of these Giant House spiders recently. The worse, I was working remotely and had a tight deadline to submit a report by midnight. One of these giant fecker spiders was climbing up a curtain inches from my desk. I spent nearly 1 hour in panic mode with one eye on the laptop and the other on the spider, I didn’t have a minute to spare on the work report to catch spider . I count it as my most bravest hour, looking back I don’t know how I done it I didn’t even scream! Normally I would scream, run and go cry somewhere! Mind over matter! After got the report submitted, a glass wasn’t big enough to catch , I got a big bowl to trap spider and waited for my husband to release it. I still have flash backs!
I saw one of these in my bathroom a few years ago. It was on the skirting next to the door so I didn’t see the fucker until I’d locked myself in with it. It was like Fear Factor trying to get out of there.
I see about 4 or 5 of these over aug-november every year, never saw them as a child just last few years.
Id set the entire bathroom on fire
And just like that, constipation be gone… all over floor
It is a normal house spider. They are quite harmless.
Shpiderz
That’s a good spider. He’ll wander the house at night and kill a bunch of bugs. I know they’re creepy to some people but having a few spiders in the house isn’t a bad thing.
See that spider outdoors : ‘Wow, what a fascinating creature.
See that spider in the kitchen or hall: ‘Uh oh, a bloody spider.’
See that bastard anywhere near or in my bedroom :’NO FUCKIN’ WAY. EXTERMINATE!!!’
Found a 4 legged one this morning on the stairs. Cats saw him first apparently.
I was laying on the sofa a few nights ago and one of those massive fuckers ran up my chest towards my face. The speed they move at is unsettling.
That poor spider is no harm to you; he’s just super horny.
Was lying on my bed a couple weeks ago one evening, and saw a movement out the corner of my eye. Gigantic fucker of a house spider (about the same size as your toilet spider) was on the duvet and running full tilt **at** me.
I’ve never shit the bed before, but this was the closest I got. My wife thought I was being a big manchild until she saw it on the floor a short while later.
More than likely that’s the bloke looking for the missus.
She’s probably twice the size of him.
He’ll shoot the biz then be eaten, sad day for him.
Just pee on it
I still have nightmares about these things from an encounter with one when I was a child. Nobody had figured out I had gotten really short sighted at the time and I went to the bathroom one night…came back to my room to see a black splodge on the wall, what I thought was dirt. Put my face up really close to it to see what it was only to realize it was one of those gigantic motherfckers. I started screaming the house down, the spider freaked out and ran off to hide and I wouldn’t go back to bed until my entire room had been turned upside down to find it. Should have just burnt the place down and been done with it
I’ve had to deal with 4 of these fuckers in the last year. Always in the bathroom too.
Eratigena attrica. (giant house spider)
Bolloxes go on a shagging spree in our gaffs between Aug – Oct , males go out looking for some hot arachnid babes so you see em wandering about. The feckers live a good 2 – 6 years so their in your home most of the year / years, Just come out searching for a mate in autumn.
Had one 2 weeks ago that was 10 cm in leg span / was bunched up in a pint glass. Absolute brute. The milder climate caused by global warming is allowing them to grow larger as well as some interbreeding with invasive species.
They can bite but a bee sting would be worse , they much prefer to use their ridcolous 1.7 feet a second running speed to scurry off.
They actually held the guiness world record for fastest spider until 1987 until being bumped of it by Camel spiders which are actually not true spiders. So technically they are still the fastest true spiders on earth.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider)
Il be doing that right away
To the people who will say “They’re harmless, leave them alone”, look up the concept of *Irrational Fear* and/or *Pathological fear*, please 😂🙈