Astonishment as fracking companies may be placed in charge of testing public support

22 comments
  1. Do you want fracking in your area?

    a) Absolutely b) Would be delighted c) sounds great d) not ideal but I’m willing to give permission

  2. Kind of expected there to be some kind of stitch up, like ‘local’ being within 300M of the site or something, but this is just ridiculous.

  3. I cannot see this going wrong at all. It’s like that time I let foxes run my hen house. Sure, all the chickens were eaten but the foes promised they did the best they could to stop themselves.

  4. Corporate funded poll reveals overwhelming support for fracking in your area. Case closed.

    Just when you thought this shitshow couldn’t get any worse, in steps Truss and her goonbags.

  5. Survey will be as follows:

    “If you had a choice, would you want fracking to be: i) in your local area ii) in your local area alongside and a not in your area equivalent.”

  6. It is going to be a true representation of the peoples opinion just like a Russian referendum on annexation is

  7. This is just another instance of the CORRUPTION of the Tories. A few years from now it will be revealed that fracking companies were secretly making big chunky donations to the Tories. We will all 😮 gasp in consternation take another bite of out cheese and tomato sandwich and carry on watching Netflix.

  8. Wait, are they fracking here? Wtf kinda stone age shit is this? Doesn’t fracking make all the surrounding area turn to shit?

    Wheres captain planet when you need him, he would’ve made that entire area a crater by now and the people heading it into compost

  9. Well, maybe it’ll be like in Australia and when the frakkers come onto people’s land, land owners will literally pull guns on them.

  10. “But the plans were on display…”

    “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

    “That’s the display department.”

    “With a flashlight.”

    “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”

    “So had the stairs.”

    “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”

    “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

  11. Call me skeptical but I have a feeling no fracking sites will ever happen in the leafy Tory shires of the south east. Im thinking Surrey, Hampshire, Berkshire etc

  12. Maybe they could make seeking permission as arduous as it is for unions seeking strike action.

    Almost managed to type that without laughing.

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