Americans think we’re a bunch of racists who eat terrible food. Pass them a mirror

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  1. If you are a journalist and you write rude things about people, you can expect some, er, rude stuff back. I’ve received angry letters from America, Russia, the Philippines, Australia — the sun never sets on people wanting to call me a cow. What I’ve noticed is that the response varies from country to country. If you are, say, a revered, ageing British public intellectual, the first thing you’ll call an uppity female journalist is a “bitch”. Richard Dawkins personally telephoned me to scream that I was a “spiteful little bitch” for an interview in which I ridiculed his “nibbly little voice”. Deceitful, conniving, double-crossing, he squeaked. I laughed.

    Americans are different. Cross any one of them and it is not bog misogyny or playground insults that are flung out but an enormous tidal wave of raging class and race-obsessed Downton Abbey-themed inferiority complex. Why?

    Will Ferrell’s rep didn’t hesitate to call me “an extra on Downton Abbey” with “yellow teeth” who spent “the flight home” from my interview with Ferrell “wiping crumpets off the corners” of my mouth after I called his actor client “a thin Ron Perlman”.

    “What is this, 1920?” he howled.

    Sorry, crumpets?

    On Thursday, I felt the same searching bafflement — “what is this?” — when I watched a clip of the US-based television host Trevor Noah. For people unfamiliar with Noah’s oeuvre, he’s the one who isn’t John Oliver. His basic position on everything is that poor people are oppressed, it’s the rich white people that did it, but not the ones in his audience. If you’re brown, you must have been abused by white people — here’s a cartoon. I have no idea if it’s funny.

    For Noah, the arrival of Rishi Sunak was a dream: another opportunity to point out that Britain was an entitled, racist backwater. We have, he gleefully noted, an actual “King of Jamaica”. Our response to Sunak has been: “The Indians are going to take over Great Britain”. He called this a “backlash”.

    Never mind he didn’t have evidence — never mind that, if you sat him down and asked him what Sunak had done over the past year, he probably wouldn’t have a clue. As with the Duchess of Sussex, he seemed determined to push a certain narrative: that brown people are always victims. Preying on poor, oppressed people in order to enrich oneself — hmm, I wonder if that reminds me of anything.

    If there was any hostility in this country, it was a single, stupid caller on a radio show and peripheral irritants in the Labour Party and on the left trying, comically, to discredit Sunak by saying he was “too rich” (code for “foreign”) or “not a true Asian” (because he was a Tory) or — when they got really desperate — “upper caste”. No one took any of this seriously, because you simply cannot be taken seriously if you attack the Tories on equality, but cannot say what a woman is.

    The only example of real, high-level racism came not from Britain, but Noah’s close friend Joe Biden, who couldn’t pronounce Sunak’s name properly: “Rasheed Sanook.”

    Why do Americans do this? Noah may be South African but it doesn’t seem to dilute things. To him, to them, we are only ever “extras from Downton Abbey”. Snaggle-toothed, foul-breathed, mouldy marsh-dwellers, or, failing that, bony-assed, animal-torturing, pervert aristocrats being handed crowns and/or nursery slops.

    One American food critic was recently stunned to discover that we had moved “beyond porridge and boiled mutton”. I read his article, “Brexit and the Land of the Porridge People”, and thought: why are we taking this balls from the Land of Bacon-Wrapped Pizza?

    Why are we repeatedly told by them that Britain is racist, when, as far as I’m aware, only one of our two countries has a race problem that appals people globally. Only one of our two countries has an ethnic minority population that arrived against its will, and it is not ours.

    The further you delve into things, the more you wonder if, when American liberals call us backward, deranged and imperialistic, it’s in fact themselves they’re talking about.

    They say Britain’s an embarrassment, a rubbish-strewn, apocalyptic hovel — but if you look at any footage you will see it is in fact America that has sprawling, vagrant tent cities of homeless people. They say Britain is filled with furtive, paranoid preppers — like the “Brexit preppers” profiled in The New York Times a few years ago. But that wasn’t really true, was it? If there’s one country that’s the home of doomsday obsessives, it’s America — only there do people live in holes with their weapons and 50 gallons of petrol.

    If there is any country today that behaves like an imperial power — any country, as Noah puts it, that is not confronting its questionable “history” — it’s the country that, for decades, has carried out an extraordinary, global programme of aggression in order to subjugate local populations, all in the name of, hilariously, “peacekeeping”. And they call us the colonisers?

    It’s possible, obviously, that television is not helping. If you are American, you might easily believe that we, as a nation, have spent the last two months weeping over the Queen. You might easily imagine that we all live in castles, or we are all Hugh Grant, or we are the drug-dealing gangsters out of, say, Top Boy. After the Queen’s death, a colleague received a stream of messages from American contacts asking if he was OK.

    But before flinging the insults, don’t you have a duty to do some research? Many years ago I went to cover the political conventions and my editor said, “don’t call the Americans stupid and overweight — it’s boring”. Won’t someone send smug American media goblins the same memo? It’s dull.

  2. Does anyone actually care what the septic’s think about us or anything else for that matter?

  3. >trying, comically, to discredit Sunak by saying he was “too rich” (code for “foreign”) or “not a true Asian” (because he was a Tory) or — when they got really desperate — “upper caste”. No one took any of this seriously, because you simply cannot be taken seriously if you attack the Tories on equality, but cannot say what a woman is.

    I can’t quite figure out why this was necessary. Obviously it’s total nonsense (yes, the left hates Sunak not because he’s the son-in-law of a billionaire who will legislate in the interests of his class who are already spoiled silly by 12 years of Tory indulgence, but because he’s not white *eye roll*) and just seems like her taking the most tangential of excuses to let loose her inner Tory.

    And then a nice little bit of TERFery on top, just to affirm that this woman is indeed as much of a bitch as her detractors make her out to be. If anything, I think the Yanks might’ve been too kind to her.

  4. > “too rich” (code for “foreign”)

    OK, how are we supposed to criticise somebody for being too rich when they actually are?

  5. While Joe Biden could have better pronunciation with his aides filling him, I really can’t fault anyone for being unable to pronounce foreign names. There are many asians who live in western countries knowing nobody will ever pronounce their names correctly, and don’t feel like that’s racist. It’s just ignorance, and a lack of accuracy when names are romanized. It works the other way around, when western names are written in the phonetic characters (which lack some of the necessary sounds) of asian languages and nobody ever calls these speakers racist. Now, food snobbery is a whole different topic.

  6. America is the home of Tex-Mex, creole, Cajun and soul food. It has given us so many styles of BBQ and pizza. It has some great regional specialities, like key lime pie, too. Americans do eat some crap, but so do we and we still have produced some cracking dishes over the centuries. It is only crap if you judge all of the US by the American aisles in supermarkets, which are full of overly-processed crap. Oreos are what would happen if a bourbon fucked a custard cream, which then drank and smoked throughout the pregnancy, however to judge all American foo on that is as ignorant as them judging us based on what was available during the height of WW2 rationing.

  7. Meanwhile in the USA, ‘grass-fed’ beef is seen as some sort of premium versus the norm.

    Then you get into the McDonalds USA vs UK fries (hint the UK fries only use three ingredients, potatoes, salt and oil). The US fries by contrast have a long list of stuff that they use.

    I could go on all day about how the USA is fucked regarding their food, even their apples are banned by the EU as they spray them with a potential carcinogen and refused to provide the EU with safety data regarding the agent.

  8. So… A “journalist” getting bent out of shape about people saying mean things to her after she says mean things to them is now considered news?

  9. America is big a country and each state could be considered as their own country. California alone is bigger than the whole of the UK. Some states are very progressive and way multicultural compared to the UK like California/New York for example, whilst some states are very conservative and less multicultural for example: Montana, West Virginia, Okhlahoma etc… so its kinda unfair to paint the whole country as racists.

  10. Actually American foods are really nice. It is really a mixed culture though they still say pizza or chow mein, they are very Americanized. If you are talking about McDonald’s or KFC then they are different but I think the Brits love them too…

  11. I never understood all the shitting on yanks people love to do here, because their society is evidently more dysfunctional. Little do people know that’s how we Europeans see the UK. As a classist place where they shit on the poor and opportunities are mainly for the already rich.

  12. I hate to point out the obvious, but the UK does have quite a lot of nasty racists.

    And some of the food really is terrible.

    The good news is that the UK isn’t quite as bad as the USA in either respect.

    The bad news is that being less shit than the USA is a very low bar.

  13. I don’t understand when people think the UK is more racist than the US.

    Who had racial segregation in to the 60’s? Who had a literal civil war over deciding if slavery was bad? Who had a black president who was constantly asked to prove he was actually American?

    That’s right, the U.S.

  14. >Richard Dawkins personally telephoned me to scream that I was a “spiteful little bitch” for an interview in which I ridiculed his “nibbly little voice”.

    She does have a way with words.

    Also right about America.

  15. “One of the people criticising me is South African but that doesn’t matter because I hate Americans so he’s American”.

    Jesus.

  16. As a Brit living in the US for the last 9 years, nobody really has any interest in the UK other than watching its decline in the news.

    As for food I haven’t really noticed much difference between the two.

  17. >Americans think we’re a bunch of racists who eat terrible food. Pass them a mirror

    No they don’t. If Americans read an anti-American article in the Times or the Guardian or watch a British TV series critical of America, are they then supposed to think that’s how British people in general feel about the US? The whole article comes off as unnecessarily defensive.

    I’d be willing to bet that Americans have a much more positive view of Brits than the vast majority of other countries.

  18. I grew up facing anti Irish racism during the 80s and 90s, until it became fashionable to target Muslims instead. The English can be astonishingly racist, I thought I put the anti Irish issue behind me, until my English neighbours started shouting potatoes at each other in a “comedy Irish accent” the same neighbours who told me that the area was great, until,” brown people took is over”, I should mention my wife, like the neighbours, grew up in the area, but is originally from southern Spain, and has light brown skin, and very North African/ Arabic features. Having said that, I’ve seen English people get on well with people of different nationalities, look at the cluster fuck African Americans found themselves in when they went after Adele’s dress up to honour the cancelled Notting hill carnival. My issue is that America keeps pushing their politics and issues on to other countries, whether it’s left or right wing views. It’s tiring, this country has enough to deal with, without the yanks stomping round like jackasses

  19. I really dislike this era of tedious people like her basically being “opinion people” as their living- it’s just empty and lacking in any susbstance. Its like the written form of those really boring scripted “reality” shows where fuck all really happens

    Regarding this issue though.. people ought to stop being so triggered when someone dares to suggest that people in this country can be racist and make a joke about it. I work with the public and I hear racist stuff not as infrequently as I would like (not aimed at me).
    Pretty sure the guy also mocks the racist loons in the states.

    Tbh, i think the man should’ve let the joke stand for itself, pandering to those whining about it does him no favours. It is good publicity for him though.

  20. >If there was any hostility in this country, it was a single, stupid caller on a radio show and peripheral irritants in the Labour Party and on the left trying, comically, to discredit Sunak by saying he was “too rich” (code for “foreign”) or “not a true Asian” (because he was a Tory) or — when they got really desperate — “upper caste”. No one took any of this seriously, because you simply cannot be taken seriously if you attack the Tories on equality, but cannot say what a woman is.

    What a weird sideswipe at her political opponents, as if they have anything to do with Noah having a go over nothing.

  21. There’s a new breed of Nationalism for the 21st century.

    This Foreigner said something mean about us so lets all circle-jerk on the internet on how they’re basically the same, so we shouldn’t feel bad.

    If the shit someone else is saying about Britain is wrong, the only sensible thing to do it ignore them and move on with out lives.

    If the shit someone else is saying about Britain is right, then perhaps we should address it. We certainly should use the fact that their country might also be guilty of it as an excuse not to. Because if we address the problem and they don’t, we walk away on top. If they fix their problems and we leave the same problems to fester, we **really** look like shit. And they look vindicated.

  22. Trevor Noah literally used a real life radio call of a racist and made fun of it. He never said the UK was a bunch of racists. And he’s never claimed the US doesn’t also have racists, so I don’t think the mirror would shock him or his target audience. This is the most ironic “snowflake”-esque outrage.

    Can’t read the article. But the US has more food choice, although it’s increasing in the UK.

    The US is naturally more accepting of new people than Europe or Asia are, because it’s an immigrant country (like all of the mainland Americas). You get citizenship and you’re American very often. You can be 3rd gen in the UK and have citizenship and still be seen as foreign by many (same in a lot of Europe, same in Japan where some 3rd gens Koreans in Japan don’t even have the citizenship). But the US is worse in some ways too.

    Honestly not sure wtf the point of her article is, cuz like I said Noah never said the US has no racism. If anything we’ve needed the mirror more, because I’ve seen way more of Brits on reddit talking like the UK has no racism and never did (eg the whole “British soldiers in WW2 were shocked than Black Americans were segregated and wanted to drink with them and they didnt understand racism” and “we only care about class, not race”), than Americans doing it about their country.

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