I’ve got a problem with my arsenal, doc: Bomb Squad are called to A&E where patient turned up with two-inch-wide WWII shell lodged in his rectum which got there when he ‘slipped and fell on it during a clear-out’
I’ve got a problem with my arsenal, doc: Bomb Squad are called to A&E where patient turned up with two-inch-wide WWII shell lodged in his rectum which got there when he ‘slipped and fell on it during a clear-out’
36 comments
This story got me thinking of a film story where a gangster pulls the pin on a grenade, shoves it up his victims bum and the rest of the story is the guy trying to get revenge and not dislodge the grenade at the same time.
I think it could be a movie franchise opportunity.
For fucks sake lads, the NHS is under enough strain without people sticking bombs up their arses.
I bet a condom and lube also slipped and fell onto it just before he slipped and fell on to it too.
it was a million to one shot doc, a million to one.
I can’t imagine the sort of person who looks at a WW2 artillery round, and their first (or indeed any) thought is “I’m gonna shove that up my arse”.
I like to think I’m the sort of guy who would just say ‘I thought it would feel nice inside me but it got stuck when I tried’ if that ever happened to me, but you never really know I suppose…
Of all the things to shove up your own arse… I mean come on, they make toys for that that are very safe and presumably pleasurable, and come with an end that doesn’t let it disappear up your starfish. Get something fit for purpose!
Doctor I’ve got an artillery shell up my arse. Howitzer I don’t know, honest!
Well that’s a blast from the pASSt for sure.
Certainly a new one for the bomb squd bingo board, and the A&E bingo.
This is what happens when someone misunderstands the phrase “Getting a good banging”
Good to know our artillery can still give Jerry a good pounding.
Certainly adds a new level to having a danger wank
Let this story serve a warning to the next guy/person who wants to shove something ginormous up his ass that’s not designed for that purpose.
I mean, if you like shoving shit in your ass just own it. Your doctor certainly doesn’t give a fuck.
>A hospital spokesperson confirmed ‘relevant safety protocols’ were followed
I love to know what those were.
i heard that they had just been shopping and locked themselves out of their house and put their bags of shopping on the ground to start shimmying up the drainpipe to get in, then gravity dropped their trousers and they fell arse first onto the bomb. a little odd that safeways sells their bombs with condoms already attached, but who am i to judge?
DR “He has got a mortor round in his what?”
Nurse “Rectum”
Paramedic “Rectum….damned near killed him”
Brings a hole new meaning to ‘Pounded with Mortar Shells’.
He should be charged every penny for his treatment.
if he didnt have experience taking flak before, he will now.
That certainly beats the hand grenade we found at our trust!
If this is the best way to be seen, I’m getting some ideas.
Straight men are so scared of being labelled gay that they’ll stick a fucking bomb up their arse before buying a dildo. Pathetic.
A policeman found a ww2 bomb in a ‘low iq’ guys house in South Wales years ago. The guy had it on his mantle and was planning on cutting it open and turning it into a lamp
I’m not sure the excuses are of the calibre that they used to be
Damn that’s a WHOLE new Kink, really wanted that load blown, really wanted to blow his insides all over the place
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Ok I’m done.
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[https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/12/03/02/51281249-10270067-image-m-40_1638497842410.jpg](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/12/03/02/51281249-10270067-image-m-40_1638497842410.jpg)
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The fuck is that for, reaching in and grabbing, please don’t give doctors/Nurses doing prostate exams ideas.
If there is no base it doesn’t go in the dark place.
I feel like these jokes need to be told by basil brush.
I remember watching a documentary on aids recently where this women said that after becoming infected more men wanted to sleep with her. Its a fucked up thing where people get turned on with danger and risk.
Why do people continue to obsess about WW2?
We have to put the past behind us.
Must have been one awkward journey to the hospital.
In fairness it was a shot, not a shell, which if you had to shag yourself with a piece of ammo is probably the least lethal choice.
Personally I’d have gone for a 40mm illum round myself, possibly the most dildo-shaped of munitions, but to each his own.
I’d love to hear the phonecall where the hospital try to convince the bomb squad it’s not a prank call.
Someone, at some time in human history, past, present or future, has or will genuinely slip and fall on something and have it lodged in their arse.
That person will *never* be believed by *anyone*.
Should’ve talked about a team with a chance at the league title tbh. Wait wrong Arsenal
We sometimes joke about destroying the toilet after a bad curry, this guy might end up doing it for real