Could it be that marriage is stupidly expensive? Could that be part of the issue?
Because people are realising marriage is a scam
Let’s bring the law into this relationship so that if it ever doesn’t work out, instead of just breaking up someone has to give the other half their stuff
There’s a part of me delighted by this, thinking of all the fuckin unnecessary suffering and death bestowed on those unmarried mothers in Ireland, forced into nun run workhouses. I’m like, fuckin YES ! Stay unmarried and free women of 2023 !!!!!!
In other words, the number of bastards in the UK is increasing quickly
People are evolving beyond the need to hold a ceremony or sacrifice to the mystical gods in the sky for approval and blessings.
Never cared for marriage (since I grew up in a marriage that was daily hate), but civil partnership just makes sense financially in the UK and I do worry about this transforming into a bigger percentage of disjointed families and single parent households.
Would like to see some research done in into salaries and health outcomes of kids born in wedlock/civil partnership and out of wedlock. Australian kids with divorced parents, as a trend, [earn much less](https://childandfamilyblog.com/how-divorce-affects-childrens-wealth-ability-to-earn/) than kids with wedded parents, but obviously divorce is different to never being married, since divorce almost always includes some kind of rift and conflict in the nuclear family, while obviously non-marriage doesn’t.
I could have two of the three…. house, maternity, or wedding. Pretty obvious what two to pick (if you want children)
I’m surprised this is the first time. Does anyone who isn’t ultra religious/conservative really care if children are born out of wedlock anymore?
As long as there’s a stable family I don’t think it matters, if people don’t want to commit to a marriage they should not but don’t go condemning marriages. There are benefits to it and downsides if it should break.
No shit that nothing is 100% all the time.
With a decline (I experience) in good quality relationships overall this isn’t surprising either.
The social fabric of society is breaking down, everyone panic!
Lots of people seem to be anti-marriage, and Ive seen the 42% end in divorce statistic bandied about. Curious what the break up rate of non-married couples is?
Marriage is beneficial for many non-tax related reasons. You feel a commitment to work hard at a marriage. If you’re in a non-unionised partnership, that simply is less likely the case.
Children wise, sure you can argue that so long as a couple is happy in front of the kids, that’s fine, but the commitment of marriage shows children that their parents are a team.
I’m into my 10th year of being married (we had a church marriage). We’ve had a LOT of problems in 10 years. (Miscarriage, illness, deaths in the families, job losses) I have non-married friends who went through less and broke up. I have married friends who DIDN’T have religious weddings who have been through less, and broke up. A lot of it is down to the families you come from and whether you see marriage as a solid commitment where you work hard but are essentially two becoming one.
But there really is a deeper sense of commitment when you get married (at least if it actually means anything to you). It’s not just a piece of paper. It’s about tying yourself to someone… not because they’re “the one” (social media seems to advertise this fairytale idea of being married), but because you love, enjoy, support, and MOST importantly, tolerate someone to the point of being prepared to for the rest of your life because you know it works.
Everyone has a different view on marriage, but I guarantee that in 10-15 years, this will have huge implications on society probably with a lot more single mothers, and resentful fathers, broken homes and children who lack the support you get from a solid 2 parent married household.
Because marriage is unnecessary and a hassle. Marriage is essentially signing papers that tie you to another person financially, among other things. You don’t need to go through that to prove your love for someone, unlike previous generations.
I’d love to have the big weddings I’ve seen my parents and aunts/uncles have, but I know I can’t afford what it would cost. I know I could do a cheaper, smaller one if I wanted to, but it does sadden me that I can’t afford to do what they did. I think it’s okay to feel that way so long as it’s not making you bitter.
I’m in no rush to get married for a while yet anyway. No golden wedding anniversary in my future.
I’d like to propose but a wedding is expensive, and who has the money for that and a house, and a family?
I don’t want to disappoint my gf with something super discount, so just keep telling myself we’ll do it soon. Now been dating 7 years, and living together for 5…
[deleted]
No change in demographics here, just that BoJo was even busier than we thought during lockdown.
As someone who just got divorced – I don’t think I’d ever bother getting married again. Especially considering I was the only one who took it seriously. So much time and money wasted.
I think marriage is one of the least important factors people think of before having children. Most people should prioritise getting their financial and living arrangements sorted and making sure they’re certain they want to have kids and have them with their current partner.
The above only goes for people planning for children, obviously there’s always going to be people who didn’t intend to become parents
Getting married in the UK is a pain, unless you want to get married at a registry office. I know because my partner are I got married last year.
Most venues are booked up for a long time in advance. Everywhere is expensive and everything comes with surprise price tags. The base prices are usually thousands of pounds and they include next to nothing.
You want to get married here? Sure! Tables are extra.
Corkage. Fucking corkage. I lost it when I was exploring wine options with a venue, found the prices of their wine to be extortionate and decided to use our own vendor. Venues wanted £15 per bottle *to fucking open the bottles*. I understand that they usually make a profit on the wine they sell and that it’s a part of their profit. But I could find wine of a better quality for less than £10 per bottle and they wanted £30 per bottle.
There are lots of places that would be nice for an inexpensive wedding, but you can’t because it isn’t a licensed venue.
Can you get married cheaper? Yes, you can, but you give up elements which there are a high social pressure to do and that can make up some of the elements that people find important for the wedding. A photographer, clothes, foods, a party to spend time with friends and create memories, it’s all so expensive.
Most people want to remember their wedding day with joy and look back at it with fond memories. But instead it’s becoming a millstone around people’s necks.
And the price of *everything else in life* has been going up too, squeezing that budget for a wedding down and down and down. *Especially* if you want kids. £5–10k on a wedding or savings to pay for all the stuff your child is going to need?
I’m not surprised people are weighing up things they need in life and a wedding and finding that the wedding loses.
*A quick aside for those who want to get married but are finding it to be a real pain, if you want to get married at a nice looking venue, relatively cheap, without any religious portions of the ceremony, I strongly recommend [Old Marylebone Town Hall](https://www.adaytoremember.london/old-marylebone-town-hall). I’m not saying it will fix all your problems, as London isn’t cheap, but if you mostly just want a ceremony in a nice place with lovely officiants and a nice place to take photos afterward, this place works really well and is cheaper than a lot of worse places.*
Definitely worth getting married within the UK legal system. If and when you split up. It’s an absolute mess if you are not legally married. Far more straight forward and by the book to split assets, custody save on lawyer fees etc when you are married. Many people don’t realise this.
Thats shockin. The priests are giving babies weddings now?
Yeah, those downing street parties were a bit wild
Way back, abstaining and marriage were the only ways in which children could be attributed to a father. Back when inheritance and heirs and legitimacy was a big thing.
Now we have a more open, expressive society where the focus tends to be the environment and the wellbeing of children rather than legitimacy or children born in wedlock.
Plus, we have DNA testing
Is the divorce rate putting people off even attempting?
Not gonna hate it but this sounds so fucking weird to me, why the fuck people gotta produce like that? I know it’s okay if you wanna do it but still man, don’t know.
Better to say that we really need some normal people who are thinking of getting married and then doing some other things that are they like, it’s all like that for me.
Not a good thing which is happening right now, people should understand the value of marriage because that is how we all were born, we know that shit right now.
27 comments
Could it be that marriage is stupidly expensive? Could that be part of the issue?
Because people are realising marriage is a scam
Let’s bring the law into this relationship so that if it ever doesn’t work out, instead of just breaking up someone has to give the other half their stuff
There’s a part of me delighted by this, thinking of all the fuckin unnecessary suffering and death bestowed on those unmarried mothers in Ireland, forced into nun run workhouses. I’m like, fuckin YES ! Stay unmarried and free women of 2023 !!!!!!
In other words, the number of bastards in the UK is increasing quickly
People are evolving beyond the need to hold a ceremony or sacrifice to the mystical gods in the sky for approval and blessings.
Never cared for marriage (since I grew up in a marriage that was daily hate), but civil partnership just makes sense financially in the UK and I do worry about this transforming into a bigger percentage of disjointed families and single parent households.
Would like to see some research done in into salaries and health outcomes of kids born in wedlock/civil partnership and out of wedlock. Australian kids with divorced parents, as a trend, [earn much less](https://childandfamilyblog.com/how-divorce-affects-childrens-wealth-ability-to-earn/) than kids with wedded parents, but obviously divorce is different to never being married, since divorce almost always includes some kind of rift and conflict in the nuclear family, while obviously non-marriage doesn’t.
I could have two of the three…. house, maternity, or wedding. Pretty obvious what two to pick (if you want children)
I’m surprised this is the first time. Does anyone who isn’t ultra religious/conservative really care if children are born out of wedlock anymore?
As long as there’s a stable family I don’t think it matters, if people don’t want to commit to a marriage they should not but don’t go condemning marriages. There are benefits to it and downsides if it should break.
No shit that nothing is 100% all the time.
With a decline (I experience) in good quality relationships overall this isn’t surprising either.
The social fabric of society is breaking down, everyone panic!
Lots of people seem to be anti-marriage, and Ive seen the 42% end in divorce statistic bandied about. Curious what the break up rate of non-married couples is?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/01/unmarried-couples-children-breaking-married-couples-first-time/
Marriage is beneficial for many non-tax related reasons. You feel a commitment to work hard at a marriage. If you’re in a non-unionised partnership, that simply is less likely the case.
Children wise, sure you can argue that so long as a couple is happy in front of the kids, that’s fine, but the commitment of marriage shows children that their parents are a team.
I’m into my 10th year of being married (we had a church marriage). We’ve had a LOT of problems in 10 years. (Miscarriage, illness, deaths in the families, job losses) I have non-married friends who went through less and broke up. I have married friends who DIDN’T have religious weddings who have been through less, and broke up. A lot of it is down to the families you come from and whether you see marriage as a solid commitment where you work hard but are essentially two becoming one.
But there really is a deeper sense of commitment when you get married (at least if it actually means anything to you). It’s not just a piece of paper. It’s about tying yourself to someone… not because they’re “the one” (social media seems to advertise this fairytale idea of being married), but because you love, enjoy, support, and MOST importantly, tolerate someone to the point of being prepared to for the rest of your life because you know it works.
Everyone has a different view on marriage, but I guarantee that in 10-15 years, this will have huge implications on society probably with a lot more single mothers, and resentful fathers, broken homes and children who lack the support you get from a solid 2 parent married household.
Because marriage is unnecessary and a hassle. Marriage is essentially signing papers that tie you to another person financially, among other things. You don’t need to go through that to prove your love for someone, unlike previous generations.
I’d love to have the big weddings I’ve seen my parents and aunts/uncles have, but I know I can’t afford what it would cost. I know I could do a cheaper, smaller one if I wanted to, but it does sadden me that I can’t afford to do what they did. I think it’s okay to feel that way so long as it’s not making you bitter.
I’m in no rush to get married for a while yet anyway. No golden wedding anniversary in my future.
I’d like to propose but a wedding is expensive, and who has the money for that and a house, and a family?
I don’t want to disappoint my gf with something super discount, so just keep telling myself we’ll do it soon. Now been dating 7 years, and living together for 5…
[deleted]
No change in demographics here, just that BoJo was even busier than we thought during lockdown.
As someone who just got divorced – I don’t think I’d ever bother getting married again. Especially considering I was the only one who took it seriously. So much time and money wasted.
I think marriage is one of the least important factors people think of before having children. Most people should prioritise getting their financial and living arrangements sorted and making sure they’re certain they want to have kids and have them with their current partner.
The above only goes for people planning for children, obviously there’s always going to be people who didn’t intend to become parents
Getting married in the UK is a pain, unless you want to get married at a registry office. I know because my partner are I got married last year.
Most venues are booked up for a long time in advance. Everywhere is expensive and everything comes with surprise price tags. The base prices are usually thousands of pounds and they include next to nothing.
You want to get married here? Sure! Tables are extra.
Corkage. Fucking corkage. I lost it when I was exploring wine options with a venue, found the prices of their wine to be extortionate and decided to use our own vendor. Venues wanted £15 per bottle *to fucking open the bottles*. I understand that they usually make a profit on the wine they sell and that it’s a part of their profit. But I could find wine of a better quality for less than £10 per bottle and they wanted £30 per bottle.
There are lots of places that would be nice for an inexpensive wedding, but you can’t because it isn’t a licensed venue.
Can you get married cheaper? Yes, you can, but you give up elements which there are a high social pressure to do and that can make up some of the elements that people find important for the wedding. A photographer, clothes, foods, a party to spend time with friends and create memories, it’s all so expensive.
Most people want to remember their wedding day with joy and look back at it with fond memories. But instead it’s becoming a millstone around people’s necks.
And the price of *everything else in life* has been going up too, squeezing that budget for a wedding down and down and down. *Especially* if you want kids. £5–10k on a wedding or savings to pay for all the stuff your child is going to need?
I’m not surprised people are weighing up things they need in life and a wedding and finding that the wedding loses.
*A quick aside for those who want to get married but are finding it to be a real pain, if you want to get married at a nice looking venue, relatively cheap, without any religious portions of the ceremony, I strongly recommend [Old Marylebone Town Hall](https://www.adaytoremember.london/old-marylebone-town-hall). I’m not saying it will fix all your problems, as London isn’t cheap, but if you mostly just want a ceremony in a nice place with lovely officiants and a nice place to take photos afterward, this place works really well and is cheaper than a lot of worse places.*
Definitely worth getting married within the UK legal system. If and when you split up. It’s an absolute mess if you are not legally married. Far more straight forward and by the book to split assets, custody save on lawyer fees etc when you are married. Many people don’t realise this.
Thats shockin. The priests are giving babies weddings now?
Yeah, those downing street parties were a bit wild
Way back, abstaining and marriage were the only ways in which children could be attributed to a father. Back when inheritance and heirs and legitimacy was a big thing.
Now we have a more open, expressive society where the focus tends to be the environment and the wellbeing of children rather than legitimacy or children born in wedlock.
Plus, we have DNA testing
Is the divorce rate putting people off even attempting?
Not gonna hate it but this sounds so fucking weird to me, why the fuck people gotta produce like that? I know it’s okay if you wanna do it but still man, don’t know.
Better to say that we really need some normal people who are thinking of getting married and then doing some other things that are they like, it’s all like that for me.
Not a good thing which is happening right now, people should understand the value of marriage because that is how we all were born, we know that shit right now.