(I originally posted to r/norge but the conversation immediately turned to English – counter to the rules of that sub – so I am starting this parallel thread.)
My 15yo Australian son had applied to study on exchange in Norway but was informed yesterday that his application was not going to proceed because he had volunteered that he has (mild) ADHD. Several people have pointed out that discrimination against people with ADHD is not legal in Norway. Also, that it just doesn’t map to how Norwegians think. But perhaps the difference is that hosts are wary of taking in and committing their home to a kid that could turn out to have major behavioural issues. That is not the case with my son – as specialist documentation, interviews and teacher references can attest. But still, that was the decision from the agency that manages the hosts.
In fact my son is the opposite to what is feared – he is medicated, disciplined, organised and as they say, wicked smart. He is genuinely incredibly well suited to solo travel, learning a new language and sensitively adapting to social and family settings.
I’m not posting because I want to make anyone change their minds. Rather, I am trying to independantly organise a host and a fallback host. Rex wouldn’t want to use his study exchange to shame the agency. But in a small way I believe he will prove a point about ADHD being a spectrum we are all on, and the truth that many neurologically different people manage their condition successfully and make a greater contribution. Rex wants to be an oncologist and if you meet him you would agree that he is likely to achieve his goal.
So we aren’t seeking financial support per se. There is a letter available via the link below that explains the situation and the exact notification from the student exchange agency.
What I am trying to achieve is to use every channel possible (including this sub, LinkedIn, my friends’ few Norwegian personal contacts and the networks of sympathetic Norwegians) to find people who would like to host a student so we can talk further, vet them etc. I will very likely need to be introduced to people of standing who can help with that too.
Thanks for reading this far and here’s the link to the letter.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/12x7ZvdwWTU8mdfIhJvmBV_dbdEJC6qal/view?usp=drivesdk
Finally, I am just really buoyed by the support Norwegians have expressed. Even though we haven’t found a host yet, I want to thank everyone for their comments.
21 comments
May I ask what timeframe you’re looking at and which location of Norway (if any specific) he’s looking at? This could be useful information for possible hosts.
I suspect that the reason the agency does not want a kid with ADHD is that they percieve it as a bigger risk. If the kid and the hoast family they find does not get along they will have to put in more work to either help mediate or find a new hoast family, and they probably view people with ADHD as “problematic”.
But i also have to say that it is a totally bullshit reason and excluding your son for ADHD is both illegal and morally wrong. I would love it if you shared the mane of the agency so that we know who not to assosiate with, but i understand if you don’t want to.
Tell your son that ADHD, no matter how mild or major, is not a blight upon a person. I know countless people here with ADHD who are all both lovely and more than functional. There is no shame in having ADHD and i hope you find a hoast family that can take him. Perhaps trying to contac a few more agencies can help?
Best of luck to both you and your son.
That’s really sad to hear, I hope you find someone who can host him, I wish I knew someone who could. Hopefully someone on here or the other channels you’ve gone through will be able to help.
Hosting any teenager for an exchange program is a bit of a gamble for many different reasons – I’d say your son represents a significantly smaller risk of issues than the average teenager going on a study abroad program! I was an exchange student myself in the US, stayed with a family who had taken many students previously, and based on their stories, I’ll bet they’d take your son any day of the week over many of the students they had had!
Have you tried posting in the facebook group Aussies in Oslo? [https://www.facebook.com/groups/AussiesInOslo](https://www.facebook.com/groups/AussiesInOslo) I’m an aussie with a norwegian partner currently waiting for my norwegian cohabitant visa to be processed. Currently residing in NSW, Aus but partner will be travelling back to Norway mid March.
I’ve asked my norwegian partner to spread the message around to his contacts but perhaps the aussies in oslo page will reach a bigger spread! Would also love to host but partner’s family house can’t fit more people into it unfortunately. Hopefully Rex can study in Norway!
Hi good luck finding a host family. I see you have posted a lot of personal information in the Google drive link. Personal email address, phone number and a lot of information about your son.
I’d recommend taking down the link and sharing it privately with any potential hosts. The internet can be a weird place!
I would ask you to reconsider the way you’re presenting some information here. You yourself say that people with ADHD are neurologically different. To have ADHD simply means the brain functions differently. The spectrum doesn’t mean “mild” or “strong” ADHD, like a 1-100 sliding scale. A person can’t have “mild ADHD.” They can experience varying “symptoms” (a word I really don’t like, because as I said, the brain is just different) and different degrees of said “symptoms”. These can be things like Impulsivity, Inattention, Hyperactivity, Forgetfulness, etc. People may use coping mechanisms, medication, tailor their lives to suit their brains better or to their advantage, and they may also struggle. Most of us do a combination of that.
The reason why I want to emphasize this is not to be hypercritical of what you are writing, but rather trying to underline that the way you are writing about ADHD heavily impacts the way it is perceived, and makes it seem like a disability that defines a person, not simply that a person has a different way of processing information, thinking, and behaving. And that, I think, goes against your point here that Rex is a capable individual who should be allowed to study, and that as you mention, “the truth that many neurologically different people manage their condition successfully and make a greater contribution.” Not to mention the many benefits that people with ADHD may have: the passion and focus for what they care about, the creativity, sensitivity, and perception.
I am currently unable to host a student, and am not aware of anyone who can, so unfortunately I cannot assist here. However, as a person with ADHD myself living in Norway, I wish you and Rex all the best, and hope he gets the opportunity to study, thrive, and achieve his goals.
Just wondering if he also considered going to a folkehøyskole for a year? They usually have students residing at the schools, but it’s a different kind of school year of course, and he might have to wait until he’s 18.
Well this is just amazing, finally Norway rejects someone, and a disease / condition seems a valid reason to me
I think you are going to struggle with this discrimination denial because host families will mainly have kids of their own and most of those kids will have been in a class with a kid who has ADHD and who caused absolute havoc in class for years. I think most of those families will not be so receptive and then there will be others who haven’t and think its even more scary. I dont know if it is true, but r/norge insisting that norwegians are not discriminatory is pretty much peak norwegian. I do have experience of ADHD from within my own family and based on my own family’s experience, medication can be a process over time and needs considered and engaged management, do you think you can do that from Australia?
You should contact ADHD norge. It’s the sdhd organisation of Norway. They have members all over, host all sorts of events, activities and training. Someone might love to help, as they do interact with most schools.
this is totally left field but i have mild ADHD and at 34 i have had such a wonderful life once i started working with it not against it, Im a data scientist and evaluation expert for a international humanitarian charity, ive toured the world as a musician, ive created mad art, my friends value my input when they share stuff about their lives cos i often have a different sort of holisitc point of view because i think so deeply about things.
tell your son it is likely he will grow up to be not just like everyone else, but probably special in his own way if he learns to go with the flow of his ADHD!
screw these people as well, i know you dont want to name and shame but……
I am 28 with adhd.. I still don’t drive a car because I was denied to 24 then I figured why destroy the planet anyways
As posted by other, this might not have nothing to do with the diagnosis it self, but the availability of medicines. There are some cases where medication used in foreign countries is not allowed to prescribe or hand out in Norway. This might force them to say no, since they can’t guarantee access to the medicine he is in need of.
This sucks. It makes me really sad to hear that ADHD is being discriminated against like that. I find your persistence looks incredible and I’m sure you will eventually find someone to host him.
You need to contact the equality and discrimination omsbud for their help. They are the legitimate authorized lawyers and advisors to ensure that disabilities are handled in accorandance to equality and discrimination laws. All of thier help is completely free.
You will find thier contact info here:
https://www.ldo.no/en/ldo-english-page/
It’s sad, but while it is technically illegal in Norway, the state does discriminate against various disabilities a lot. I hope you can find some solution to your problem.
ADHD gets a bit of a bad rap in the media. But Leonardo Davinci apparently had it. And what does he know about anything?
Hello, in this post you have shared a large amount of sensitive information. I understand you are simply trying to get tips, but I ask you to be careful about the information you give out. Also have you gotten Rex’s consent to post this. You probably know what you are doing, I am simply concerned about Rex’s safety.
Consider fudging names and locations, and other potentially identifying information
If your son wants to see the landscape Norway is famous for, do not go to Oslo. Go to western or noethern parts of Norway instead.
Thats terrible im so sorry
Should apply again and say nothing wrong inf he doesn’t need help and or a minder they don’t need to know