As far as I know this is a false widow but I’m not one hundred percent on that. Found it in the kitchen while spring cleaning but have also seen a few more around the place.
oh thats Spencer
sweet chap, likes his space, looks like they finaly took his iPhone from him,
he was spendind to much time on the ………..
A false widow.
That’s a Whua-ti-ti-ti.
It gets its name from the noise it makes when you suck it up with the hoover.
It might not actually be the invasive False widow, *Steatoda nobilis*. We have a native, and moderately common, species of False widow spider that [can look very similar](https://bugguide.net/node/view/193090) (albeit if you look up pictures they’re usually not quite so completely black), *Steatoda grossa*. They can be very hard to tell apart, which isn’t helped by the internet (e.g. Google Images) showing pictures of *S. nobilis* whenever you look for *S. grossa*, and vice versa.
Mmmmmhm that’s a spider alright, or a spidder if your feeling frisky
Next time, put a finger in the picture for scale.
r/spiders if you need more identifications.
Shelob. Do you perchance have a sword that glows blue?
Burn down the house.
Burn down the town.
Burn the phone this pic was taken with.
Scorched earth: BURN. EVERYTHING.

It’s black
It’s not your man from Coronation Street anyway
Black widow
Think her name is cinnamon
That’s an ‘Oh fuck me sweet mummy Jesus i gotta get out of here’
flamethrower
Keith!!
Oh that’s John. Tell him I want my fiver
Mix peppermint oil in water and spray around the windows works great they hate it
Only thing that fucker is missing is a health bar
It’s bulbous. That’s a given.
Markings are faint but I’d say its a Noble false widow. They can vary slightly in colour from from brown nearly black and have a leg span around the size of a €2 coin
False Widows should be dispatched if found, they are an invasive species in Ireland.
Get absolutely fucked. Roughly what part of Ireland do you live so I know never to go near if I’m not already there
Reminds me of this fucker I found in my garden last Halloween. That smile, on Halloween… shudder
30 comments
Bigus Fuckerus
Yep, definitely a spider
A big muthafucker
oh thats Spencer
sweet chap, likes his space, looks like they finaly took his iPhone from him,
he was spendind to much time on the ………..
A false widow.
That’s a Whua-ti-ti-ti.
It gets its name from the noise it makes when you suck it up with the hoover.
It might not actually be the invasive False widow, *Steatoda nobilis*. We have a native, and moderately common, species of False widow spider that [can look very similar](https://bugguide.net/node/view/193090) (albeit if you look up pictures they’re usually not quite so completely black), *Steatoda grossa*. They can be very hard to tell apart, which isn’t helped by the internet (e.g. Google Images) showing pictures of *S. nobilis* whenever you look for *S. grossa*, and vice versa.
(Incidentally, another spider often confused for false widows is the [missing sector orb weaver](https://www.nhm.ac.uk/take-part/identify-nature/spiders-in-your-home/missing-sector-orb-web-spider.html), a harmless native friend.)
Editing to add a [helpful identification guide](https://www.nhm.ac.uk/take-part/identify-nature/spiders-in-your-home/false-widow-spiders.html).
Mmmmmhm that’s a spider alright, or a spidder if your feeling frisky
Next time, put a finger in the picture for scale.
r/spiders if you need more identifications.
Shelob. Do you perchance have a sword that glows blue?
Burn down the house.
Burn down the town.
Burn the phone this pic was taken with.
Scorched earth: BURN. EVERYTHING.

It’s black
It’s not your man from Coronation Street anyway
Black widow
Think her name is cinnamon
That’s an ‘Oh fuck me sweet mummy Jesus i gotta get out of here’
flamethrower
Keith!!
Oh that’s John. Tell him I want my fiver
Mix peppermint oil in water and spray around the windows works great they hate it
Only thing that fucker is missing is a health bar
It’s bulbous. That’s a given.
Markings are faint but I’d say its a Noble false widow. They can vary slightly in colour from from brown nearly black and have a leg span around the size of a €2 coin
False Widows should be dispatched if found, they are an invasive species in Ireland.
Get absolutely fucked. Roughly what part of Ireland do you live so I know never to go near if I’m not already there
Reminds me of this fucker I found in my garden last Halloween. That smile, on Halloween… shudder
https://preview.redd.it/n84d6ywv9mpa1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=ba45472386960d11fa79d206dc9effc1b78d460b
That’s bob the spider. I know him well. Killed the flies in me shed he did.
Also did a number on the dog.
On behalf of the arachnophobic, thanks for marking this nsfw