> Among other messages, the man complimented a tattoo on her chest, behaviour she felt was “inappropriate” on a room-finding app.
> She “assumed [the Spareroom app] was a safe space” and said her trust was “violated”.
I can’t believe there are people out there, especially of the younger generations that still don’t realise the Internet does not have one single safe space.
Any place where two people can communicate can have someone there to communicate in a way which might offend them.
People have to take responsibility for their own experiences on the internet. If you get a message you don’t like, either reply telling them to fuck off, ignore it or report it, and then move on, rather than moaning about violations of trust. What trust was given to you to be violated?
[deleted]
I started reading this, but the horror stories seemed to be
a) a man, who was apparently ‘lovely, daring to show a female around a house. Nothing happened, but… you know…
b) a man that was found not guilty of an alleged assault, and he never actually did anything to the person telling the story but… you know…
C) landlords preferring female tenants. They haven’t actually done anything but… you know…
d) someone saying something that I disagreed with. I wasn’t in any danger but… you know…
e) someone said they liked my tattoo. They didn’t do anything else but… you know…
I know women face a real threat from some men, but some of this stuff is utterly hysterical (and no, I don’t consider that a gendered term and would happily use it to describe men).
[removed]
It feels like the angle on SpareRoom in particular is a little unwarranted. There are other websites where live-in-landlords are not-so-subtley suggesting a sex for rent situation. No other rental website requires background checks on current residents or live in landlords, so I’m not sure this is SpareRoom’s fault – so too with the fact that there isn’t someone actively monitoring the conversations.
If I were a woman I would also not appreciate someone comments on my body on a rental website – but I’d also be very glad that they showed who they were early on in the process!
It’s no secret that the cost of housing is forcing people into housing arrangements that they wouldn’t otherwise take given the choice. People living with abusive partners have hugely reduced options. It’s the norm for people moving to London to move in with strangers and cross their fingers that everyone gets along. We need cheaper housing and more of it — none of this is SpareRoom’s fault, particularly.
> She said she saw lots of male live-in landlords advertising for female-only tenants.
That’s surely not legal, is it?
These people should be calling out the diabolical situation of housing in this country and that these platforms even exist. The idea that someone working full time has to live in someone else’s bedroom is a sad summary of where we are a a country.
How did she feel “violated” ? I read the article, and I looked at the definition of “violated,” and I fell to see how exactly she felt that way..
All I needed to do was to read the title to know immediately that the comments would be full of men giving reasons why those women are silly and hysterical.
[Sex for rent](https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/one-in-ten-female-renters-for-sex-for-rent/) is a thing, and it shouldn’t take an enormous about of fucking brain power to connect the dots in the stories to make sense of why the women in the article felt threatened. At least you’d think, wouldn’t you? But no. Men here can’t understand why a woman might not want to rent from a man accused of assault who also has keys to every door. Or a woman being hit on by a potential landlord. Or a man who *only* wants female tenants (hmm I wonder why that could be!)
If women navigated the world like the men in these comment sections think is wise, there’d be a lot more female victims of violence, rape, and murder. And then they’d be lining up to victim blame those women for being “too stupid” to see the warning signs.
9 comments
> Among other messages, the man complimented a tattoo on her chest, behaviour she felt was “inappropriate” on a room-finding app.
> She “assumed [the Spareroom app] was a safe space” and said her trust was “violated”.
I can’t believe there are people out there, especially of the younger generations that still don’t realise the Internet does not have one single safe space.
Any place where two people can communicate can have someone there to communicate in a way which might offend them.
People have to take responsibility for their own experiences on the internet. If you get a message you don’t like, either reply telling them to fuck off, ignore it or report it, and then move on, rather than moaning about violations of trust. What trust was given to you to be violated?
[deleted]
I started reading this, but the horror stories seemed to be
a) a man, who was apparently ‘lovely, daring to show a female around a house. Nothing happened, but… you know…
b) a man that was found not guilty of an alleged assault, and he never actually did anything to the person telling the story but… you know…
C) landlords preferring female tenants. They haven’t actually done anything but… you know…
d) someone saying something that I disagreed with. I wasn’t in any danger but… you know…
e) someone said they liked my tattoo. They didn’t do anything else but… you know…
I know women face a real threat from some men, but some of this stuff is utterly hysterical (and no, I don’t consider that a gendered term and would happily use it to describe men).
[removed]
It feels like the angle on SpareRoom in particular is a little unwarranted. There are other websites where live-in-landlords are not-so-subtley suggesting a sex for rent situation. No other rental website requires background checks on current residents or live in landlords, so I’m not sure this is SpareRoom’s fault – so too with the fact that there isn’t someone actively monitoring the conversations.
If I were a woman I would also not appreciate someone comments on my body on a rental website – but I’d also be very glad that they showed who they were early on in the process!
It’s no secret that the cost of housing is forcing people into housing arrangements that they wouldn’t otherwise take given the choice. People living with abusive partners have hugely reduced options. It’s the norm for people moving to London to move in with strangers and cross their fingers that everyone gets along. We need cheaper housing and more of it — none of this is SpareRoom’s fault, particularly.
> She said she saw lots of male live-in landlords advertising for female-only tenants.
That’s surely not legal, is it?
These people should be calling out the diabolical situation of housing in this country and that these platforms even exist. The idea that someone working full time has to live in someone else’s bedroom is a sad summary of where we are a a country.
How did she feel “violated” ? I read the article, and I looked at the definition of “violated,” and I fell to see how exactly she felt that way..
All I needed to do was to read the title to know immediately that the comments would be full of men giving reasons why those women are silly and hysterical.
[Sex for rent](https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/one-in-ten-female-renters-for-sex-for-rent/) is a thing, and it shouldn’t take an enormous about of fucking brain power to connect the dots in the stories to make sense of why the women in the article felt threatened. At least you’d think, wouldn’t you? But no. Men here can’t understand why a woman might not want to rent from a man accused of assault who also has keys to every door. Or a woman being hit on by a potential landlord. Or a man who *only* wants female tenants (hmm I wonder why that could be!)
If women navigated the world like the men in these comment sections think is wise, there’d be a lot more female victims of violence, rape, and murder. And then they’d be lining up to victim blame those women for being “too stupid” to see the warning signs.