I literally posted about this the other day on the thread saying the country as a whole is generally tolerant of LGBT people. I argued that if LGBT people kissed in public the “tolerance” levels would instantly change.
I know from experience not to kiss my partner or hold his hand in public because we know what will happen. On paper this country is tolerant yes, but thats because overall the LGBT stay hidden still. The moment we “come out” and kiss our partners… That changes.
As the person in the article said… We have to check our neighbourhood, surroundings and people before we do anything like that
Sad, that.
Like, no-one wants to see *anyone* snogging and groping in gross ways in super-public places. But that’s true of most people, and applies across the sexuality spectrum, right?
Live and let live, more of us need that in our lives.
edit: downvoting an inclusive and supportive reply? You’re part of the problem, here.
I’m bisexual and this has never come up for me because the only guys I’ve dated have been quite closeted, so wouldn’t kiss in public because of that, but on a personal level I’d be okay with it in most places now, outside of maybe a handful of dodgier pubs.
I can see why people are bothered by it though, and sadly I can’t see it getting any better soon.
Is anyone surprised though. Gay men are only acceptable to the public provided we don’t exhibit any homosexual behaviours. Then it’s all “stop shoving this down my throat” and “think of the children” rhetoric. You can see this when there is always controversy whenever there is a gay couple on TV or adverts, of when heaven forbid its acknowledges in schools that we exist, when people hysterically complain about it.
So no. Most Gay Men won’t be comfortable with public displays of affection in this country an time soon!
If I kissed a guy in public, 95% of the time it would be fine.
But the 5% of the time it wouldn’t be, is enough that I don’t do it at all. Because that fear of 5% means even if I want to, I’ll do a mental risk assessment about my surroundings, the people around me, and the situation. And by the time I’ve worried about all that, I don’t want to do it anymore.
I’m bi/pansexual and I am still careful about kissing other men in public, as it could easily lead to violence.
Things are better than they were in the past, but you still have to look over your shoulder if you are openly gay.
Last time I showed PDA (literally a peck on the cheek and an arm round the shoulder) to my partner some Karen called us paedos because some kids were walking behind the bench we were sat on so yeah. It’s the only time something like that happened but we were on edge in public for months afterwards.
I wouldn’t ever have dared do it- for obvious reasons
Yep. People are fine with gay people until they express any sort of physical affection and suddenly it’s ‘rubbing it in our faces’.
It’s quite sad to see so many people saying “but this isn’t an issue any more” in the face of gay people saying it *is*.
I live in Manchester. No, in most of this city, it isn’t an issue. I used to live in a Fenland town. It would very much still be an issue there. People seem blind to how much the culture varies around this country.
Ay I’m lucky to be from a small town in Kent where no-one really gives a fuck about anything other the town fairs, and getting their newspaper on time. I used to kiss my ex-boyfriend in public all the time, and folks just kept walking normally. But I can see it being an issue in big cities.
Edit: fuck yall down voting me for? I was just sharing my experience
Never understood the need to kiss in public, straight or gay…
Statistically speaking, %60+ gay men in the UK do not feel comfortable holding hands out in public.theres a very good reason for that.
Violent Hate crimes against LGBTQ+ have doubled in the past 5 years. And no, the amount of people reporting hate crimes does not make up for the massive increase. Ethnic LGBT people face extreme discrimination regularly.
Statistically middle class gays face little discrimination (even moreso if they’re white). That explains why you have droves of white middle class gay men who say homophobia is nonexistent. You can be publicly gay in the UK, only if you meet a very certain demographic and live in a select few cities.
Every guy I’ve dated has been at least a little nervous about just holding hands in public, and it’s honestly a special and kind of scary thing to choose to do so.
I was sat in a bar, in the gay village, in the middle of a day. And got assaulted by some bigot calling me a product in gravy..
Just round the corner, a sauna/shop has had it’s window put in 3 times in recent weeks, and now has a police presence constnatly outside…which is frankly just hilarious.
I’m not even gay
Because people aren’t as fucking tolerant as they think. It’s fine that I’m Bi, so long as I never mention it or act on it even as much as a straight couple would.
Stuff that would lead to “get a room” for a straight couple leads to audible gasps and palpable danger for same-sex couples.
[removed]
Every time i would even hold hands with my ex-boyfriend we would get disapproving stares and people making comments. My ex did not care one bit, but i found it very uncomfortable. One time we went to a wildlife park and we were holding hands and it was like almost empty anyway but this man comes up to us and says something like “do you really have to do that here, there are children here”. There literally wasn’t even any children, not that it matters anyway but we made that point and just tried to move on. He then proceeded to follow us everywhere and he was taking photos also. There has been other times too, but ugh that guy creeped me out and ruined my day.
[deleted]
yeah I certainly fear it. I’ll do it but I’ll be on high alert and basically on edge for violence and ready to defend myself and my kissee. Not a good feeling but more often than not, the kiss is worth the risk with the right ones. I HATE having to keep my relationship hidden as soon as stepping out the door it makes it feel so shady and distasteful when it should be prideful and just idk fun.
I’d say if you don’t want attention don’t show affection. Should people be allowed to without fear or descrimination or attack? Yeah, but you have to remember theres alot of sad lonely people out there, with a lot of baggage and emotional issues.
When straight people kiss in public they run the risk of people gawking at them, tutting, pointing, laughing and sometimes someone might even complain about children being around and common decency. Now take all of that and set it around a gay relationship, you now add on people who are jealous but also in the closet and perhaps even indenial, and seeing two people of the same sex express their feelings for each other then raises the question they’ve been supressing in themselves, resulting in an emotional response. You see the same thing when meateaters are exposed to the cruelty of the animal industry.
This doesn’t make it right (at all) but you just have to be aware of the culture we live in, denial is rife.
[removed]
Kissing in public regardless of sexual preference is pretty icky in my opinion
23 comments
I literally posted about this the other day on the thread saying the country as a whole is generally tolerant of LGBT people. I argued that if LGBT people kissed in public the “tolerance” levels would instantly change.
I know from experience not to kiss my partner or hold his hand in public because we know what will happen. On paper this country is tolerant yes, but thats because overall the LGBT stay hidden still. The moment we “come out” and kiss our partners… That changes.
As the person in the article said… We have to check our neighbourhood, surroundings and people before we do anything like that
Sad, that.
Like, no-one wants to see *anyone* snogging and groping in gross ways in super-public places. But that’s true of most people, and applies across the sexuality spectrum, right?
Live and let live, more of us need that in our lives.
edit: downvoting an inclusive and supportive reply? You’re part of the problem, here.
I’m bisexual and this has never come up for me because the only guys I’ve dated have been quite closeted, so wouldn’t kiss in public because of that, but on a personal level I’d be okay with it in most places now, outside of maybe a handful of dodgier pubs.
I can see why people are bothered by it though, and sadly I can’t see it getting any better soon.
Is anyone surprised though. Gay men are only acceptable to the public provided we don’t exhibit any homosexual behaviours. Then it’s all “stop shoving this down my throat” and “think of the children” rhetoric. You can see this when there is always controversy whenever there is a gay couple on TV or adverts, of when heaven forbid its acknowledges in schools that we exist, when people hysterically complain about it.
So no. Most Gay Men won’t be comfortable with public displays of affection in this country an time soon!
If I kissed a guy in public, 95% of the time it would be fine.
But the 5% of the time it wouldn’t be, is enough that I don’t do it at all. Because that fear of 5% means even if I want to, I’ll do a mental risk assessment about my surroundings, the people around me, and the situation. And by the time I’ve worried about all that, I don’t want to do it anymore.
I’m bi/pansexual and I am still careful about kissing other men in public, as it could easily lead to violence.
Things are better than they were in the past, but you still have to look over your shoulder if you are openly gay.
Last time I showed PDA (literally a peck on the cheek and an arm round the shoulder) to my partner some Karen called us paedos because some kids were walking behind the bench we were sat on so yeah. It’s the only time something like that happened but we were on edge in public for months afterwards.
I wouldn’t ever have dared do it- for obvious reasons
Yep. People are fine with gay people until they express any sort of physical affection and suddenly it’s ‘rubbing it in our faces’.
It’s quite sad to see so many people saying “but this isn’t an issue any more” in the face of gay people saying it *is*.
I live in Manchester. No, in most of this city, it isn’t an issue. I used to live in a Fenland town. It would very much still be an issue there. People seem blind to how much the culture varies around this country.
Ay I’m lucky to be from a small town in Kent where no-one really gives a fuck about anything other the town fairs, and getting their newspaper on time. I used to kiss my ex-boyfriend in public all the time, and folks just kept walking normally. But I can see it being an issue in big cities.
Edit: fuck yall down voting me for? I was just sharing my experience
Never understood the need to kiss in public, straight or gay…
Statistically speaking, %60+ gay men in the UK do not feel comfortable holding hands out in public.theres a very good reason for that.
Violent Hate crimes against LGBTQ+ have doubled in the past 5 years. And no, the amount of people reporting hate crimes does not make up for the massive increase. Ethnic LGBT people face extreme discrimination regularly.
Statistically middle class gays face little discrimination (even moreso if they’re white). That explains why you have droves of white middle class gay men who say homophobia is nonexistent. You can be publicly gay in the UK, only if you meet a very certain demographic and live in a select few cities.
Every guy I’ve dated has been at least a little nervous about just holding hands in public, and it’s honestly a special and kind of scary thing to choose to do so.
I was sat in a bar, in the gay village, in the middle of a day. And got assaulted by some bigot calling me a product in gravy..
Just round the corner, a sauna/shop has had it’s window put in 3 times in recent weeks, and now has a police presence constnatly outside…which is frankly just hilarious.
I’m not even gay
Because people aren’t as fucking tolerant as they think. It’s fine that I’m Bi, so long as I never mention it or act on it even as much as a straight couple would.
Stuff that would lead to “get a room” for a straight couple leads to audible gasps and palpable danger for same-sex couples.
[removed]
Every time i would even hold hands with my ex-boyfriend we would get disapproving stares and people making comments. My ex did not care one bit, but i found it very uncomfortable. One time we went to a wildlife park and we were holding hands and it was like almost empty anyway but this man comes up to us and says something like “do you really have to do that here, there are children here”. There literally wasn’t even any children, not that it matters anyway but we made that point and just tried to move on. He then proceeded to follow us everywhere and he was taking photos also. There has been other times too, but ugh that guy creeped me out and ruined my day.
[deleted]
yeah I certainly fear it. I’ll do it but I’ll be on high alert and basically on edge for violence and ready to defend myself and my kissee. Not a good feeling but more often than not, the kiss is worth the risk with the right ones. I HATE having to keep my relationship hidden as soon as stepping out the door it makes it feel so shady and distasteful when it should be prideful and just idk fun.
I’d say if you don’t want attention don’t show affection. Should people be allowed to without fear or descrimination or attack? Yeah, but you have to remember theres alot of sad lonely people out there, with a lot of baggage and emotional issues.
When straight people kiss in public they run the risk of people gawking at them, tutting, pointing, laughing and sometimes someone might even complain about children being around and common decency. Now take all of that and set it around a gay relationship, you now add on people who are jealous but also in the closet and perhaps even indenial, and seeing two people of the same sex express their feelings for each other then raises the question they’ve been supressing in themselves, resulting in an emotional response. You see the same thing when meateaters are exposed to the cruelty of the animal industry.
This doesn’t make it right (at all) but you just have to be aware of the culture we live in, denial is rife.
[removed]
Kissing in public regardless of sexual preference is pretty icky in my opinion