I fucking knew that this was not the normal thing to do!!
>Chapman later claimed that due to a condition, he has managed since a teen, he lets out semen while defecating and that some “residue” might have remained on his hands.
Thats was his defence… Fucking grim!
I can’t be the only on that thinks he has a look of Michael Gove…
This nhs crisis is beyond a joke if they cant afford creamer
Just a friendly reminder to everyone… don’t do that.
How could you get caught doing that and how on Earth could the women tell!?😅
It’s too early in the morning to be reading a sentence like this headline.
Jesus wept
“Ladies and gentleman of the jury the only crime my client is guilty of is spaffing when he has a shit and he doesn’t wash his hands” – slams briefcase shut
Did he not stir it or would the semen always stay un emulsified? I feel like coffee is a kind of pure enough substance that you’d always be able to tell the change in texture. Sorry I guess I don’t know enough about semen physics.
Also I wonder if the police came to her or if she took it to the station. Walk in and tell the receptionist(?) you need this cup of coffee analysed.
Anyway, don’t put semen in people’s things without their consent.
Whenever I read about an absurd defence like this I’m always reminded of that excellent Fast Show sketch with the unbelievably naive husband catching the neighbour banging his wife
Edit whoops not the fast show, Armstrong and miller
“The prosecution case is he did not have a reasonable explanation for his semen being in her drinks.”
I am trying really hard to think what explanation could possibly count as *reasonable* . . .
His defence is such a fucking mess…
“I didn’t make her coffee that day, but I may have neglected to wash my hands after I had a wank in the toilet. Not over her though, I’m not attracted to her. She’s not the only person I made coffee for, but I didn’t make coffee that day. Someone must have put my jizz in there as a prank. I certainly didn’t tamper with her coffee”
“also, I cum when I shit”
Mucilaginous consistency of coffee and semen would be absolutely repellent. If he derived sexual gratification from this, I’m sure there is a person somewhere who would consent to…imbibing his secretions.
Why sexually assault an innocent woman? Despicable man.
Another brexiteer wanting to force others into doing stuff against their interest.
Do you ever just open Reddit, read the first headline, think “what the actual fuck is wrong with people” and then leave. I do. Bye.
The most shocking thing about this is a doctor making a patient cups of coffee. Most of us can’t even get an appointment, never mind a cuppa with extras. When I do get an appointment the doctor is writing on the computer as I sit down then hands me a prescription and tells me to get out after about 30 seconds with a script for 2 paracetomol a day I could get cheaper at Aldi. Any cuppa making would be immediately suspicious, seeing as I live near Hyde where Shipman practised, nobody round here would accept drinks off doctors.
I’m cross with you for inflicting that headline on me, OP
Good thing I wasn’t planning on eating for the next week or so…
He is gonna poo and cum both when he sees the prison doors. “I am scared cumless” he will say.
Sexual assault isn’t quite right – that requires touching.
He is being charged with “Causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent” ([s4 of Sexual Offences Act 2003](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/4)). Although not legally rape, it is colloquially referred to as rape (along with actual rape and assault by penetration), and is the offence a woman will be charged with if they rape (in the colloquial sense) a man or woman.
The maximum sentence in this case is 10 years.
If my doctor spunked in my tea I’d knock his block off. ☹️
Well fuck. Now I got to sell my fuckin eyes, thanks for this Reddit.
That’s absolutely revolting. Literally my worst nightmare is people messing with my food and drink. Some people are just utterly disgusting.
Didn’t know Michael Gove had a side hustle as a Doctor, jizzing in a cup checks out though
Gives the “Doctor Foster went to Gloucester” rhyme a whole new verse!
Now scientists will work on a new condition, and give it a name, probably NicholasChapman syndrome.
A doctor who has shit and zemen on his hands that didnt wash his hands? Isnt that some sort of health and safety violation?
This makes me retch. What sort of sicko would do this? It’s absolutely revolting.
This is like a blackadder sketch where Baldrick makes captain darling a latte.
He’ll get away with it, doctors always do. He’ll get a slap on the wrist maybe change hospital and carry on with his life
As a doctor he should probably consider washing his hands.
It beggars belief what runs through some peoples minds as acceptable behaviour.
*Cis doctor. Sorry think we need to clarify now given they always mention if someone is trans
33 comments
I fucking knew that this was not the normal thing to do!!
>Chapman later claimed that due to a condition, he has managed since a teen, he lets out semen while defecating and that some “residue” might have remained on his hands.
Thats was his defence… Fucking grim!
I can’t be the only on that thinks he has a look of Michael Gove…
This nhs crisis is beyond a joke if they cant afford creamer
Just a friendly reminder to everyone… don’t do that.
How could you get caught doing that and how on Earth could the women tell!?😅
It’s too early in the morning to be reading a sentence like this headline.
Jesus wept
“Ladies and gentleman of the jury the only crime my client is guilty of is spaffing when he has a shit and he doesn’t wash his hands” – slams briefcase shut
Did he not stir it or would the semen always stay un emulsified? I feel like coffee is a kind of pure enough substance that you’d always be able to tell the change in texture. Sorry I guess I don’t know enough about semen physics.
Also I wonder if the police came to her or if she took it to the station. Walk in and tell the receptionist(?) you need this cup of coffee analysed.
Anyway, don’t put semen in people’s things without their consent.
Whenever I read about an absurd defence like this I’m always reminded of that excellent Fast Show sketch with the unbelievably naive husband catching the neighbour banging his wife
Edit whoops not the fast show, Armstrong and miller
“The prosecution case is he did not have a reasonable explanation for his semen being in her drinks.”
I am trying really hard to think what explanation could possibly count as *reasonable* . . .
His defence is such a fucking mess…
“I didn’t make her coffee that day, but I may have neglected to wash my hands after I had a wank in the toilet. Not over her though, I’m not attracted to her. She’s not the only person I made coffee for, but I didn’t make coffee that day. Someone must have put my jizz in there as a prank. I certainly didn’t tamper with her coffee”
“also, I cum when I shit”
Mucilaginous consistency of coffee and semen would be absolutely repellent. If he derived sexual gratification from this, I’m sure there is a person somewhere who would consent to…imbibing his secretions.
Why sexually assault an innocent woman? Despicable man.
Another brexiteer wanting to force others into doing stuff against their interest.
Do you ever just open Reddit, read the first headline, think “what the actual fuck is wrong with people” and then leave. I do. Bye.
The most shocking thing about this is a doctor making a patient cups of coffee. Most of us can’t even get an appointment, never mind a cuppa with extras. When I do get an appointment the doctor is writing on the computer as I sit down then hands me a prescription and tells me to get out after about 30 seconds with a script for 2 paracetomol a day I could get cheaper at Aldi. Any cuppa making would be immediately suspicious, seeing as I live near Hyde where Shipman practised, nobody round here would accept drinks off doctors.
I’m cross with you for inflicting that headline on me, OP
Good thing I wasn’t planning on eating for the next week or so…
He is gonna poo and cum both when he sees the prison doors. “I am scared cumless” he will say.
Sexual assault isn’t quite right – that requires touching.
He is being charged with “Causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent” ([s4 of Sexual Offences Act 2003](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/4)). Although not legally rape, it is colloquially referred to as rape (along with actual rape and assault by penetration), and is the offence a woman will be charged with if they rape (in the colloquial sense) a man or woman.
The maximum sentence in this case is 10 years.
If my doctor spunked in my tea I’d knock his block off. ☹️
Well fuck. Now I got to sell my fuckin eyes, thanks for this Reddit.
That’s absolutely revolting. Literally my worst nightmare is people messing with my food and drink. Some people are just utterly disgusting.
Didn’t know Michael Gove had a side hustle as a Doctor, jizzing in a cup checks out though
Gives the “Doctor Foster went to Gloucester” rhyme a whole new verse!
Now scientists will work on a new condition, and give it a name, probably NicholasChapman syndrome.
A doctor who has shit and zemen on his hands that didnt wash his hands? Isnt that some sort of health and safety violation?
This makes me retch. What sort of sicko would do this? It’s absolutely revolting.
This is like a blackadder sketch where Baldrick makes captain darling a latte.
He’ll get away with it, doctors always do. He’ll get a slap on the wrist maybe change hospital and carry on with his life
As a doctor he should probably consider washing his hands.
It beggars belief what runs through some peoples minds as acceptable behaviour.
*Cis doctor. Sorry think we need to clarify now given they always mention if someone is trans