Ummm
Their son? I imagine he has gifts? If I suddenly decided to go “present cold turkey”
I may be delighted at the enormous savings of time and money, but my kids would suddenly think mam doesn’t love em anymore? The schoolyard grief they would get on top of that would be enormous. It’s not possible to stop, you should just start off that way.
Sounds like they were shit at buying folk stuff they would enjoy. I mean why would you buy someone a plant they don’t want ? That’s a shit gift.
I actually agree. Presents are the worst part of Christmas if kids aren’t a factor. The thoughtful part tends to be replaced with “oh he likes that I think, that’ll do, tick him off… right who’s next”, and it becomes a point of frustration especially if budgets are tight.
I’ve agreed with my siblings that we’ll get together and spend genuine quality time over Christmas, normally over a meal, instead of getting each other a gift card and replacing money with money we can only spend in one place. For others, I’ll make something. For example I’ve some double cream in the oven as I type that’s been there since 9am to make clotted cream, and I’ll make some scones as a gift with it. For others, I’m making some patê from scratch. I find they’re far more thoughtful than something from Argos to tick a relative off a list, and are far better received too.
In my experience, people who talk about not giving anything at Christmas won’t give anything anytime. Same with not being lovey dovey on valentines day.
I very pro simplification of Christmas though. Getting in large debt or too many pointless plastic things.
In my family, we only give proper gifts to children. The adults do a lucky dip instead. We all buy several cheap gifts (sweets, smellies and books, say, not costing more than £5 each), stick them in a bag and draw them. Afterwards, you can swap gifts if you like. It’s a bit of fun, it doesn’t cost much and there’s no risk of disappointment or resentment.
For the last few years my family has done a secret Santa for the adults with a budget of £60 (everyone has a wish list to pick from) and everyone buys for the kids. It’s worked great and everyone is happy not to have to worry about getting things for everyone that they don’t want.
I love not giving presents
Only give to the children now
We stopped presents years ago to some extent, we still buy children presents thoigh try not to create too much plastic waste. Between teenagers and adults we exchange handmade or non plastic gifts.
This year we’ve made hand balms, candles and bought books for family. I got my nephew a second had lego model, it’s all there in good cindition with instructions, why create more waste that will only be added to his pile of lego once he’s buit it?
For an adults-only christmas it is much less stressful to drop the presents, took us a while but happier for it
I don’t understand this at all, I love giving gifts, not fussed about receiving them but my favourite thing is knowing I’ve got someone something they will love and waiting for them to open it.
Christmas is absolutely way better without presents if everyone’s an adult. One of the main things I hate about the holiday is how much it imposes on everyone’s life, how many pressures there are for it. Financial and time pressure from present giving is a lot of it. Wish it was more like Halloween, where you can celebrate it exactly as much as you are comfortable with and noone gets upset.
Buy good presents and don’t worry about buying tonnes of them and things are much easier. There are no children in our family (youngest is 25) and we manage to have a nice Christmas every year; people just buy each other fancier chocolates, alcohol, clothes and toiletries than they would normally get for themselves. We do the odd book, art piece etc. as well but no big ticket items. If you find Christmas stressful then talk to your family, ask what they want and get them that. People would rather get what they asked for than a crap surprise they have to feign interest in.
I’m the youngest in my family. Once I became a teenager we all agreed to skip gift giving.
None of us are materialistic *at all*, and we all prefer to live pretty minimally, so it makes sense for us.
It’s amazing not having to stress about how I’m going to afford to buy mum/dad/grandparents etc gifts they probably don’t want or particularly need, and it’s nice to know they’re not feeling the same stress about buying for me.
Every single year I tell my partner that I *genuinely* don’t want or need any gifts from him, and I think he’s slowly coming around to the idea of how liberating it can be to not be sucked into the whole mindless consumerism of Christmas (or any other holiday).
I’d much rather go out for a meal or a day out 🙂
We stopped doing presents across the wider family years ago. At one time, I was spending a month of my life constantly shopping- I had 38 family and friends to buy for! Now I get my 20 year old children a big gift each and that’s it. When my extended family come we spend our time and effort on fun things to do (e.g. karaoke) and really nice food instead. We also bring all our decent unwanted tat- (books we’ve read, unwanted gifts, clothes we don’t wear any more…) and we swap it. It’s hilarious and brilliant and everyone always comes away with something.
Wish we could do this; my mum spends hundreds and hundreds on each of us, it’s feels like she won’t let us stop being her little kids forever (I’m in my mid thirties and I have twice her income). I end up feeling so guilty because of how much she spends and how much I hate the whole experience. I start feeling stressed in about September every year.
I used to love Christmas; I used to take pride in finding the perfect little gift for everyone, but frankly it’s been broken in me. The whole endeavour has turned into a big black storm cloud enshrouding me. It’s not fun anymore. It’s been taken too far. I just want to get everyone vouchers.
My dad just gets us a couple of little bits like a toiletry set and some whisky, I enjoy that so much more. We still get the gift-giving ritual but I feel like I’m being recognised as the adult that I am, and I can focus on having nice conversations and playing board games and so on.
I love giving presents and I love getting presents. I make many of them, and buy things I know people want/like either cos I’ve asked them beforehand, or know them well enough. I don’t get much for myself at all through the year, so getting Christmas presents is brilliant for me, I don’t take them for granted at all. We have a rough total we spend on each other, not more than we can afford, so that solves that.
Or maybe just put a bit more thought and planning into it? I’m on a very tight budget, but I love Christmas and gift giving. Throughout the year I shop sales and stock up on presents for people. That way come nov/dec there’s not a huge increase in my spending. I don’t get how that’s too difficult to manage?
My wife insists on sending my sister gifts every Christmas, then gets upset we don’t get any in return. Every year I tell her that it’s not part of our family tradition – Xmas gifts are for little kids, not middle aged people. Aim I the asshole?
We stopped doing presents for wider family a few years ago and it was a blessed relief. We asked them to not do them for us either and just do cards instead. They continue to do them for each other, which is absolutely fine and everyone knows where they stand. It’s a busy and expensive enough time as it is.
Once your kids are of age, or maybe mid-teens, then there shouldn’t be an obligation to buy tat they don’t need. Once a gift is expected, it stops being special, and just leads to resentment if not provided.
21 comments
They are great for kids
I’d probably do the same thing with adults
Ummm
Their son? I imagine he has gifts? If I suddenly decided to go “present cold turkey”
I may be delighted at the enormous savings of time and money, but my kids would suddenly think mam doesn’t love em anymore? The schoolyard grief they would get on top of that would be enormous. It’s not possible to stop, you should just start off that way.
Sounds like they were shit at buying folk stuff they would enjoy. I mean why would you buy someone a plant they don’t want ? That’s a shit gift.
I actually agree. Presents are the worst part of Christmas if kids aren’t a factor. The thoughtful part tends to be replaced with “oh he likes that I think, that’ll do, tick him off… right who’s next”, and it becomes a point of frustration especially if budgets are tight.
I’ve agreed with my siblings that we’ll get together and spend genuine quality time over Christmas, normally over a meal, instead of getting each other a gift card and replacing money with money we can only spend in one place. For others, I’ll make something. For example I’ve some double cream in the oven as I type that’s been there since 9am to make clotted cream, and I’ll make some scones as a gift with it. For others, I’m making some patê from scratch. I find they’re far more thoughtful than something from Argos to tick a relative off a list, and are far better received too.
In my experience, people who talk about not giving anything at Christmas won’t give anything anytime. Same with not being lovey dovey on valentines day.
I very pro simplification of Christmas though. Getting in large debt or too many pointless plastic things.
In my family, we only give proper gifts to children. The adults do a lucky dip instead. We all buy several cheap gifts (sweets, smellies and books, say, not costing more than £5 each), stick them in a bag and draw them. Afterwards, you can swap gifts if you like. It’s a bit of fun, it doesn’t cost much and there’s no risk of disappointment or resentment.
For the last few years my family has done a secret Santa for the adults with a budget of £60 (everyone has a wish list to pick from) and everyone buys for the kids. It’s worked great and everyone is happy not to have to worry about getting things for everyone that they don’t want.
I love not giving presents
Only give to the children now
We stopped presents years ago to some extent, we still buy children presents thoigh try not to create too much plastic waste. Between teenagers and adults we exchange handmade or non plastic gifts.
This year we’ve made hand balms, candles and bought books for family. I got my nephew a second had lego model, it’s all there in good cindition with instructions, why create more waste that will only be added to his pile of lego once he’s buit it?
For an adults-only christmas it is much less stressful to drop the presents, took us a while but happier for it
I don’t understand this at all, I love giving gifts, not fussed about receiving them but my favourite thing is knowing I’ve got someone something they will love and waiting for them to open it.
Christmas is absolutely way better without presents if everyone’s an adult. One of the main things I hate about the holiday is how much it imposes on everyone’s life, how many pressures there are for it. Financial and time pressure from present giving is a lot of it. Wish it was more like Halloween, where you can celebrate it exactly as much as you are comfortable with and noone gets upset.
Buy good presents and don’t worry about buying tonnes of them and things are much easier. There are no children in our family (youngest is 25) and we manage to have a nice Christmas every year; people just buy each other fancier chocolates, alcohol, clothes and toiletries than they would normally get for themselves. We do the odd book, art piece etc. as well but no big ticket items. If you find Christmas stressful then talk to your family, ask what they want and get them that. People would rather get what they asked for than a crap surprise they have to feign interest in.
I’m the youngest in my family. Once I became a teenager we all agreed to skip gift giving.
None of us are materialistic *at all*, and we all prefer to live pretty minimally, so it makes sense for us.
It’s amazing not having to stress about how I’m going to afford to buy mum/dad/grandparents etc gifts they probably don’t want or particularly need, and it’s nice to know they’re not feeling the same stress about buying for me.
Every single year I tell my partner that I *genuinely* don’t want or need any gifts from him, and I think he’s slowly coming around to the idea of how liberating it can be to not be sucked into the whole mindless consumerism of Christmas (or any other holiday).
I’d much rather go out for a meal or a day out 🙂
We stopped doing presents across the wider family years ago. At one time, I was spending a month of my life constantly shopping- I had 38 family and friends to buy for! Now I get my 20 year old children a big gift each and that’s it. When my extended family come we spend our time and effort on fun things to do (e.g. karaoke) and really nice food instead. We also bring all our decent unwanted tat- (books we’ve read, unwanted gifts, clothes we don’t wear any more…) and we swap it. It’s hilarious and brilliant and everyone always comes away with something.
Wish we could do this; my mum spends hundreds and hundreds on each of us, it’s feels like she won’t let us stop being her little kids forever (I’m in my mid thirties and I have twice her income). I end up feeling so guilty because of how much she spends and how much I hate the whole experience. I start feeling stressed in about September every year.
I used to love Christmas; I used to take pride in finding the perfect little gift for everyone, but frankly it’s been broken in me. The whole endeavour has turned into a big black storm cloud enshrouding me. It’s not fun anymore. It’s been taken too far. I just want to get everyone vouchers.
My dad just gets us a couple of little bits like a toiletry set and some whisky, I enjoy that so much more. We still get the gift-giving ritual but I feel like I’m being recognised as the adult that I am, and I can focus on having nice conversations and playing board games and so on.
I love giving presents and I love getting presents. I make many of them, and buy things I know people want/like either cos I’ve asked them beforehand, or know them well enough. I don’t get much for myself at all through the year, so getting Christmas presents is brilliant for me, I don’t take them for granted at all. We have a rough total we spend on each other, not more than we can afford, so that solves that.
Or maybe just put a bit more thought and planning into it? I’m on a very tight budget, but I love Christmas and gift giving. Throughout the year I shop sales and stock up on presents for people. That way come nov/dec there’s not a huge increase in my spending. I don’t get how that’s too difficult to manage?
My wife insists on sending my sister gifts every Christmas, then gets upset we don’t get any in return. Every year I tell her that it’s not part of our family tradition – Xmas gifts are for little kids, not middle aged people. Aim I the asshole?
We stopped doing presents for wider family a few years ago and it was a blessed relief. We asked them to not do them for us either and just do cards instead. They continue to do them for each other, which is absolutely fine and everyone knows where they stand. It’s a busy and expensive enough time as it is.
Once your kids are of age, or maybe mid-teens, then there shouldn’t be an obligation to buy tat they don’t need. Once a gift is expected, it stops being special, and just leads to resentment if not provided.