‘I don’t think the Lord Jesus Himself could get 217’: The GOP’s speaker race is a total mess

by theindependentonline

44 comments

  1. Jesus was a socialist Democrat. Of course he couldn’t.

  3. They wouldn’t recognize Jesus if he was right in front of them.

    *”Who is this lib trying to wash our feet and handing out food to poor people?”*

  4. jesus wouldn’t get a single vote from a republican lol.

  5. Why don’t they just form a centrist group with some right leaning Dems?

  6. They wouldn’t understand what Jesus is saying…Yes, I’m aware he can probably speak English with his godly powers and I still stick to my original statement.

  8. Who could’ve predicted this? We all did.

    I don’t rule Jordan out yet, long term, we’ll see if Scalise can get there but I doubt it.

  9. Seal the room until they decide, like a Papal conclave.

    Failing that, give the majority whip an actual whip and have at it.

  10. Republicans would hate Jesus in real life, perhaps Moses would get by though. He was crazy enough.

  12. Yeah I don’t know if they’d be ready to put a POC in charge.

  13. With the current republicans in the house, the *actual* Jesus from the bible they claim to love so much, would not get a *single* vote from the GOP.

    He would be decried as a communist, he would be vilified for his stance on immigrants and refugees, he would be demonized for the color of his skin. Marjorie Taylor Greene would be asking about his control over space lasers.

  14. Well considering Jesus wouldn’t speak very highly of Trump or the GOP that isn’t surprising.

  15. Jesus would probably tell them to set aside their pride and petty differences and work together for the betterment of America and the world at large.

    Republicans would then call Him a liberal cuck who should “go back where he came from.”

  16. Jesus was not a racist, fascist, hateful cruel bigot. How would you expect a republican to vote for him? He was too “woke”.

  17. Jesus couldn’t get 7 votes in the GOP. They despise everything he stood for.

  18. They long ago rejected Jesus and took up the Anti-Christ instead. We are witnessing what the Bible foretold; which is the fall of Christianity as we all knew it.

    I’m still chewing on my popcorn and enjoying the show. This has a long way to go still.

  19. Jesus would be called a Communist for wanting to help the poor

  20. “Why are the Democrats doing this to us??” scream the Republicans in despair.

  21. Based on his teaching he probably only gets Democrat votes so this makes sense

  22. Well yeah. Lord Jesus is woke according to your party so no one would vote for him from the republican side.

  23. If the 2nd Coming of Jesus actually happened, Republican members of Congress and the MAGA Cult would be at the forefront of the mob screaming for Jesus to be executed again.

  24. We’re entering the 2024 election cycle the Republican-led House of Representatives still hasn’t rallied behind a Speaker.

    No Republican deserves your vote.

  25. Okay, so the GOP is a failed body, then. They’re just saying it out loud now.

  26. Depends on which edition of Jesus that appeared. If the Republican lord Jesus was a white skinned (orange works) blonde hair blue eye version that claimed to be a billionaire and had multiple felony indictments and a history of money laundering, sexual abuse, and marital infidelity he would get all the votes.

  27. Well we know the GOP would never vote for a peace preaching socialist who isn’t white.

  30. Well no of course not.

    if Jesus was in American politics, he’d be called a “woke commie socialist” by most of the GOP.

  31. Middle eastern, woke socialist?

    Yeah, they’ll be calling for him to be deported.

  33. Jesus would be WAY too “woke” and unwhite to get 217 votes in today’s GOP.

  34. A liberal Jew? Uh no, he would not win republican speaker votes. He may win a republican tiki torch parade though.

  37. Especially considering they would call Jesus a woke commie lib.

  39. of course not! jesus is a long haired hippie that hangs out with his 12 guy friends, gives out free healthcare, and is a socialist.

    hell some republicans are saying jesus is too wimpy to be god…

  41. Then negotiate Jeffries to Speaker in a power sharing agreement and get some things negotiated with the Senate for once! Oh wait, the Terrible 20 wouldn’t compromise. That’s why they are failures at governing.

  43. “It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven.” – Jesus “Liberal Cuck” Christ

    These morons have completely lost the plot.

  44. Jesus would be vilified and deported by these yahoos.

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