16 month update. I’m the Fat Fu*k who asked for help on weight loss

[Link to last post](https://old.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/16hk77y/15_month_update_im_the_fat_fck_who_asked_for_help/)

It’s the 13th, meaning it’s time for my Reddit update.

(Start weight 22 stone 5 / 142kg / 313lb)

Drumroll…

#I’m down a total of 7 stone 9 pounds / 107 pounds / 48.5kg

Today’s weight is 14 stone 10 / 206lb / 93.4kg

Down 6 pounds / 2.7kg since last post

When I began this journey I honestly never thought I’d see the number 14 on a scale again. I can’t believe it. When I look in the mirror I still see a very fat woman. I am trying not to focus on the negatives and the fact that my body looks like a melted candle. SO MUCH LOOSE SKIN.

But hey, I have this cool party trick where I can wobble my arms and my wings make a flapping sound. Hilarious. I’m thinking of taking it on the comedy circuit.

Also, ever hear people say that they reached 200 pounds and were mortified and *began* to lose weight? Or read a description of a heavy set woman being 200 pounds? I don’t feel good at all because I am still over 200 pounds. People constantly are saying I’m looking great and slim etc but I don’t believe them because of that stupid number.

I’m getting more attention from the opposite sex. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s because I used to look down all the time and avoid eye contact. Now that I had started to look forward as I walk, I am noticing men looking at me. But it makes me really uncomfortable because my go-to thought is, “Shit, do I have something on my face? Are my turkey neck or jowls that hideous?” So I’ve gone back to looking down again when I walk to avoid the self doubt. I just want to not be noticed because I don’t know how to interpret people looking at me. It used to be because I was horribly overweight and would be looked at in a voyeuristic way. Why are people looking at me now though? What’s wrong with me?

I have these lovely dresses and skirts in size 16 that fit me now but I feel like mutton dressed up as lamb. I think I look ridiculous in them. My legs are slender and shapely (well defined muscles due to years of carrying all the weight), but I hide them under loose trousers. I catch glimpes of myself in the mirror and think, “Who are you trying to fool? You’re still a hideous fatty.”

But then other times I think I look fantastic.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of my progress and am not giving up, but this month I’m just frustrated at all these new feelings. How can everyone say how well I look if I’m still around 15 stone? Isn’t that an awfully high number for someone who is 5 foot 6?? An acquaintance casually mentioned recently that if she kept eating the way she was, she would end up being 15 stone! Shock fucking horror. I died a little inside

Shit, I didn’t mean this post to be so negative. But this is the place where I have gotten so much support and advice. I want to continue to be honest so that maybe others who are going through big weight losses are able to identify with.

Anyway, I know you love the visuals so here’s a few images showing how much weight I’ve lost

[25 of these bricks](https://www.donedeal.ie/buildingmaterials-for-sale/reclaimed-red-brick/16857898)

[11 of these stackable chairs](https://auctionet.com/en/2986843-aws-design-molding-eleven-chairs-plastic-and-chrome)

[And…FUCK YEAH. This fucking thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8qEEMfcjNA&ab_channel=EpicSovietDocumentaries)

That’s all, folks for this month. See you all next month, pleasegod. And nope, still not exercising muwahahahahahaha

by Nimmyzed