That all changed when I moved to Germany, where I lived for four years. I studied German at university, but nothing can really prepare you for the social norms of another country until you’re fully immersed in its culture. In the depths of Bavaria, in the small town of Ingolstadt, where it’s no strange occurrence to see people doing their groceries in lederhosen, I was given a crash course in saving my breath for the things I actually meant. But saying what you mean involves unlearning what you think you are meant to say. In my new home, my British indirectness and random displays of casual penitence were met with confusion, and at times, even mild annoyance.
One day, I entered the kitchen of the shared flat I was living in as my German flatmate was making her way out of the room. I was standing in her path, so I blurted out a quick Entschuldigung (sorry in German) and walked over to the kitchen sink. To my surprise, my perplexed flatmate turned to me and asked, “Why do you keep on saying sorry?” I was taken aback. Nobody had ever asked me that before. I had to stop and think to come up with an answer. Frankly, “sorry” had lost its meaning for me. It was like breathing – something I did unconsciously. “I don’t know. I don’t say it that often, do I?” I replied, somewhat defensively. A brief, kindly lecture ensued about the negative effects of saying sorry all the time. Apparently, it would have an impact on my self-esteem. I’d believe that I was at fault for things – and that would make me feel like a general nuisance, which I wasn’t.
by AntiFacistBossBitch
1 comment
Aaaaand the next two paragraphs dod the old “German is so literal” steotype again. What did I expect?