The shame-prone culture in Malta

As a millenial young adult, I deal with **shame** everyday, it is hard to avoid, this negative self-talk that seems to have hijacked my brain. I was getting tired beating myself all the time and then I started reading this book ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brené Brown. This book has been **life-changing** for me.

I thought I was the only one feeling shame but it turns out that everyone experiences it (unless you’re a sociopath that can’t feel emotion, according to Brown. She explains how ‘shame-prone cultures’ show a ‘**total dearth of creativity and innovation**’ and that got me thinking.. having lived all my life in Malta, I was shamed by my parents for how I dressed, how I did in school or even how I behaved.

In school, teachers used shame to discipline me, starting in kindergarden. In every clerical post I had (four jobs in total), I experienced shame by colleagues or managers because I didn’t perform enough, because I spoke up when I wan’t treated right or for other reasons. 

Shame is so embedded in our culture, that its hard to avoid it. Parents/teachers/ friends/colleagues or even just about anyone will shame you, when you find this so often, you just avoid taking risks so that you don’t end up facing the criticisms that put you down. When will people realise that this doesn’t foster a culture of support but  rather a culture where we tear each other down, where we hide our feelings from others, to avoid being vulnerable?

**To have innovation, we cannot have shame.** We will do mistakes and that actually contributes to innovation.

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If you’re interested in learning more, please check out the Ted talk below:

Ted-talk by Brene Brown talking about her research: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o) 

by new_person_weather