My manager gifted me a stress ball for Christmas. It almost looks like a dog toy. Me and him have had some falling outs time and time again. He is the most incompetent manager you could ever come across. We have had so many meetings about how we could work together better as we just don’t see eye to eye.

Long story short He knows I had time off due to stress induced by the way he talks to me, treats me at work. I actually had to go to the doctor and get antidepressants.

Since coming back we have had no fights. This is purely down to me just letting his shit fly over my head, his abusive behaviour still hasn’t changed. He’s a manipulative son of a bitch but acts as if he’s harmless. He’s super sly and will smile in your face whilst twisting the knife in your back.

It’s my day off and I’m kinda having a bad day, so I reach for the little gift and opened it hoping it would be a nice bit of chocolate. Anyway my jaw dropped when I saw a round squidgy stress ball in the shape of a penguin with the statement ‘feeling a little icy? Reach for me’ on the packaging.

I cried. I found this very insulting. As if my time off I took due to stress was unreasonable and I should just ‘chill out’ a bit. I found this very insensitive. I felt as if all those meetings we had have just been invalidated.

Am I being overly sensitive or do you think this was a dig. Or was he just trying to shed some light on our situation?

I know this is hard to judge as you don’t know the ins and outs
I guess above anything I needed to vent.

The fact it looks like something you’d give your dog really made me feel like shit

by Responsible-Train216

22 comments

  3. Complain to HR if you have one. This guy shouldn’t be a manager

  4. Don’t think you’re overreacting at all, sounds like a bit of a dig.

  5. He must think its funny but its actually insensitive

  6. Even if it’s not meant as a dig, it’s still very insensitive and downright rude.

    I hope things start getting better for you soon mate.

  8. The guy is an idiot and you deserve better. Time to check out what else is out there for you!

    If he asks you what you thought of the gift just say “my sisters dog LOOOOOOVED IT! She bit it in half though, we had to throw it away so she didn’t choke on it. I don’t understand why you bought me a dog toy, though… but thanks Carl.”

    He’ll try a: “It wasn’t a dog toy it was a stress toy because you’re always so stressed bla bla bla”

    Before he’s even finished his sentence you’ll have lost eye contact with him and started a new conversation with the person next to you.

    Sorry my ADHD always plays out scenarios hahaha

  10. Judging by the other comments I dont think this response will go down well, but I’ll offer another perspective. I think you’re overreacting.

    He knows you took time off due to stress and bought you a stress ball because he thought maybe it will help you or you will like it. I think it’s a reasonably innocent idea. Clearly you don’t like it, but that doesn’t mean it’s a dig at you.

  11. Obviously, if it’s a dig, it’s not nice, but I think it’s a very cute penguin. I’m sorry to hear this has caused you distress, im not trying to upset you with my comment.

  12. Perfect opportunity for a grievance, get to the doc and signed off, speak to HR, speak to an employment lawyer…. What I’m trying to say is, find all legal avenues to fuck that cunt over. Terrible person!

    Alternative is you could wait til you’re both off the clock and knock seven shades of shit out of them!

  13. I’m trying to think of the bitchest gift for him, for you to gift him.

    Sanitary towels for his time of month
    Back after thinking.

  15. Thank you for all the replies! You guys put a smile on my face 😊

  18. I think he is probably an idiot and insensitive rather than deliberately getting a dig in.

    You’d hope.

    It doesn’t look like a dog toy to me.

    It looks like the kind of thing an idiot buys because he can’t be bothered using his brain (if there is one in there somewhere)

  19. Reminds me when we had a secret Santa once and the boss (the husband, man/wife team) forgot to get their gift for (let’s call him Jake, because it is his name) Jake.

    Jake was one of the most lazy guys I have ever worked with. he had all the skills for Michelin/gastro pub service (and the poor other guy who was useless worked so hard!) but yeah, lazy.

    So..the only present left was a “400 excuses for being shit at your job” book. He left a week later.

  20. Stress ball is a really common secret Santa gift. It’s cheap and vaguely office related. I think you are way over thinking this. Even if it was meant as a dig you can chose to ignore it and rise about it, why let someone have that kind of power over you?

  21. I think you’ve gone beyond your breaking point with this man and need to take your penguin and go home. Figuratively and literally.

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