We’re gonna hear this ‘Seven Tests’ term getting bandied about a lot in the near future, so let’s go through them one by one and see what we can check off.
1. That seems fair enough.
2. That is unrealistic. You can’t leave the EU and not expect *some* diversion of trade.
3. Didn’t we get a ‘green lane’ for this? This is splitting hairs stuff. Stop trying to make a hard border happen.
4. Hear hear!
5. Again, unrealistic. And really badly worded.
6. That seems fair enough, I’ll refer you back to Test 4 though.
7. This is a just disingenuous. Twisting the wording of the GFA beyond recognition. An impossible test to meet.
Unless of course you consider all the above concerns to be directly related to Brexit and its effects on NIs place within The Union, which by your interpretation of the GFA, was an unconstitutional diminishing of status within the UK as it did not have the consent of the majority in NI.
Could probably condense them all down into three tests. Will there be cake? Can I have it? Can I eat it?
by DangerousResponse869
10 comments
Easiest way to do number one is to Unite Ireland
If the UK government were planning to meet the majority of these tests, they wouldn’t have needed to set a bribe on the table to get the DUP to return.
You are forgetting about the all important 8th test
i’m kinda surprised there hasn’t be a push by the usual right wing english crowd to just get rid of NI at this point so they can get brexit done properly (whatever that actually means). They could easily be riled up using the cost of NI, the backdoor immigration via ireland and DUP trying to scupper the the oven ready brexit deal. An “irish out of britain” campaign.
Number 1 is calling for communism, do they realise?
My own 7 tests:
1. Everyone in Ireland must be entitled to free drink without ever getting a hangover.
2. Diversion of all Orange marches to Larne.
3. A 500 ft border wall in the Irish sea (and making Britain pay for it!)
4. Jamie Bryson and Jim Allister forced to wear a gag in public at all times (to be fair, Jamie already sounds like he’s wearing one half the time)
5. The result of every night out must be a wild orgy. (Jamie Bryson and Jim Allister are not invited, despite meeting the dress code)
6. Regulatory barriers between UK and Ireland may be removed by sacrificing a landlord and/or Tory to the algae monster of Lough Neagh.
7. Preserve the spirits for everyone in NI. Feck it, the Free Staters and even the Brits get spirits too, I’m feeling generous today.
Not any less realistic than whatever the DUP is going on about, but definitely way more craic. You can vote for me at the next Assembly election. Like the DUP I’ll refuse to take my seat until my seven tests are met, but I’ll use the fat paycheck I’m getting to throw mad parties all the time and yous are invited.
I disagree with you: we will hear fuck all about these ever again bar the odd deflected comment from some journos, because they were always utterly without meaning.
God they’re such bad losers. They wanted Brexit to impose a border on the island of Ireland and they will just continue to spit the dummy out of the pram and annoy the UK until she abandons them on a doorstep.
Look, I get it but it doesn’t factor in that the majority of the people in NI voted to remain part of the EU. It’s the same old stubborn Unionist refusal to compromise that will fuck them over in the long run
Don’t forget, the unwritten but most important No 8…. No Sinn Fein First Minister!