If you call someone a name of any object with the word absolute behind it, it automatically turns into an insult. For example: You absolute lamppost.
by Fawnerabloom
If you call someone a name of any object with the word absolute behind it, it automatically turns into an insult. For example: You absolute lamppost.
by Fawnerabloom
30 comments
“What a bellend”
You bumder
Twat
Well, you’re a fucking teapot, ain’t ya love!?
Knobhead
You absolute pillock
Bellend
As useful as a chocolate teapot
Putting ‘absolute’ In-front of anything, then it’s pretty much unlimited British insults.
Knob jockey
Jeb-end
You absolute wanker/tosser
Sunshine and Sunny Jim are good if used properly.
You plonker.
Absolute + random noun
Doylum
Oh, you must be the brains of the outfit.
Bus wanker!
I see the fuck up fairy has been waving her magic wand again.
As thick as a submarine door.
Watch out here comes the fun sponge.
Bint or spanner
Your village called, they need their idiot. back
“As thick as two short planks”.
A Hungarian with the anglicised name of ‘George Mikes’ wrote a definitive chapter on British insults in his book ‘How to be an alien’.
“In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.”
If he fell in a barrel full of titts he would still come out sucking his thumb.
Muppet
Who put 50p in the dickhead?
Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.
Smeg Head
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