Everybody knows the sickest presidential tough-guy burns are delivered via social medial post, because social media is every tough-guy president’s primary means of consequence-free communication.
Trump: Russia, Ukraine ceasefire talks to begin ‘immediately’
President Donald Trump said after a two-hour call with Vladimir Putin that peace talks would begin “immediately” between Russia and Ukraine.
Hey, Russians, you better stop picking on super-tough uber-MAGA President Donald Trump. ‘Cause if you don’t, something bad is going to happen. And not just something normal, bad. We’re talking REALLY BAD.
Trump swore he would stop your war with Ukraine on Day 1 of his presidency, and yet here we are on day whatever-it-is, and you all are still doing war stuff. President Vladimir Putin launched a massive drone and missile attack on Ukraine over the weekend. RUDE! Does Putin not understand how bad that makes President Trump look?
The Wall Street Journal had this headline: “Russia Defies Trump With Largest-Ever Drone-and-Missile Attack on Ukraine.”
I mean, that’s just not the way good friends treat each other.
Why does Russia keep forcing Trump to make empty threats?
Russia’s recent attack was so bad it forced Trump to respond via social media: “What Vladimir Putin doesn’t realize is that if it weren’t for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia, and I mean REALLY BAD. He’s playing with fire!”
Oooooooo, hum a few bars of that one, Putin. Everybody knows the sickest presidential tough-guy burns are delivered via social media post, because social media is every tough-guy president’s primary means of consequence-free communication. And our man Trump just hit you with a very specific threat of something REALLY BAD happening.
You must be trembling in your whatever-the-stupid-Russian-word-is-for-boots.
Russia really needs to stop being so mean to Trump. It’s rude.
Russian security official Dmitry Medvedev responded with this social media post: “Regarding Trump’s words about Putin ‘playing with fire’ and ‘really bad things’ happening to Russia. I only know of one REALLY BAD thing ‒ WWIII. I hope Trump understands this!”
OK. That’s a little more specific. And also kinda scary. But you know what, Russia? SHUT UP!
We’ve got enough trouble with the libs over here reading Trump’s social media threat and questioning the “if it weren’t for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia” part.
They’re saying that suggests the president has been covering for Russia just because that’s what he has been doing. Stupid libs.
‘He’s killing a lot of people’
The reality is our peace-loving president has played it cool with Putin for one simple reason: Bro-code. Trump has long praised the Russian president, calling him “a big hero in Russia,” “a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond” and “savvy,” and once saying, “We look forward to spending some pretty good time together.”
So you can imagine the heartbreak our president is feeling these days. He recently said of Putin: “He’s killing a lot of people. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. What the hell happened to him?”
Who could’ve imagined a brutal authoritarian dictator whose critics routinely fall out of windows, a man who started a bloody and unprovoked war with Ukraine, might kill a lot of people?
It’s hurtful when your heroes disappoint you, and Trump is living that pain right now, yet nobody seems to care.
Russia promised Trump a memo, but he never got it (sad trombone)
Just recently, the Russians promised our president they would send him a “memorandum of peace” spelling out a plan for a ceasefire with Ukraine. Well, guess what? It’s more than a week since that promise was made, and CNN is reporting that “the US has yet to receive the document from Russia.”
Then, Putin goes and does a bunch more bombing of Ukraine, clearly aimed at hurting President Trump’s image. (It was also probably aimed at hurting Ukrainians, but let’s keep our eye on the ball here.)
What kind of friend does that to another friend?
If Russia doesn’t stop bombing Ukraine, Trump will surely do nothing
Putin and his buddies in Russia better get their acts together and start treating Trump like the BFF he has tried so hard to be. They better do a peace thing with Ukraine so Trump can take credit for it while not actually caring about Ukraine, its people or all they have endured.
‘Cause if the Russians don’t do exactly as Trump tells them to, their country’s going to feel the fury of at least one, and possibly two, social media posts with intermittently capitalized words promising unspecified consequences.
Trump is SERIOUS, Russia!
And please stop laughing so hard. It’s hurtful.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk