Hi all, I’m making this post as I have a grandfather who has recently suffered a stroke, and it seems that he does not have much longer left. He is comfortable and knows we are with him, but he cannot speak.

He used to pick me up from primary school, where my grandmother would make me pancakes, and he’d always have a story about how there wouldn’t be any pancakes today because she’d run away, or she’d broken every pan in the house, and we’d laugh. He’d take me to the bog during the summer, and show me how to look after cattle, even though I wasn’t too interested.

I’m realising now that I should have spent more time with as I’ve gotten older, and I think that regret hurts almost as much as loosing him.

I am lucky to have recorded an interview with him about his life, and it has helped me get through this hard time.

I am very lucky to have had him for this long, as he is 89, and many people have lost their family members sooner than me.

I’m writing this post to tell you to get out and talk to your family if you’ve been distant, and record some simple conversations, as I will be able to show this to my kids and family in the future, that never got to meet the man.

Thank you if you read this post , it’s somewhat of a vent.

He wouldn’t want me to be sad, and he always thought this picture of us from years ago was funny, so I thought it appropriate to include it.

by Adachi_cel

8 comments

  2. Great point OP.

    My Dad died when I was 25. Have great memories with him when I was younger but I went and did my own thing since 18. I felt like going home was a hassle (mostly because my mum) so I missed out on a lot of time with him. 

    He never met my wife or kids so it’s something I still think about.

    Its obviously taught me a lesson and I try and give as much to my wife and kids as I can

    Edit: Fuck, this is hitting me hard. Sorry what has happened to you OP

  3. This is so important.
    I had a woman who was a friend of my granny who lived in England. She basically was my granny or at least filled that role.
    Spent so much time with her and used to help her with her garden and we’d drive to the dump together to throw the bags off the platform.
    She also had a working SodaStream.
    She passed suddenly in my 20s when you are off on your own. Trying to be independent. I really regret not getting to spend time with her in those last years.

    Hope your Grandad is comfortable OP
    It’s a fine age. Great photo too.

  4. You spent time with him that he always remembered and cherished, as do you. Unfortunately, there’s never enough time and things are rarely ever wrapped up in a nice bow. You’re being way too hard on yourself.

  5. I wish I had met my paternal grandfather, but he died long before I was born. He was a Corporal in the Royal Dublin Fusileers and fought in WWI. He spent years in a German POW camp under atrocious conditions which most likely led to his early death at the age of 55.

    His wife and my beloved Nana lived with us for years and made the best coddle and dumplings I’ve ever eaten. She’d tell us bedtime stories of Na Fianna. She was a Nationalist Irish speaker who married a career soldier in the British army.

    It’s time I visited their grave again in The British Military Cemetery in Grangegorman. Dublin and say hello after so many years. The first time I visited them, I told my father where I had been, and he laughed at me and mocked me for doing so. He had a complicated relationship with his father.

    Edit: I also had a complicated relationship with my own father.

    Thanks for the post OP, it’s brought back fond memories of my Nana.

  6. Ah this hits hard.  

    Got invited to my cousins christening a month ago, other side of the country but was busy with work so didn’t go.   

    Got my aunts funeral tomorrow.. also a stroke. Feel like shit that I didn’t go see them now. 

  7. Good man, I’m sure he cherished the times ye spent together. It’s great you have these memories to give you comfort in the hard days ahead.

  8. Jesus what I wouldn’t give now for a few pancakes from my grandmother. All the best OP.

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