The Traitors Ireland is coming! John Byrne looks at the prospects for an entertainingly Irish version of the reality show that’s become a worldwide TV phenomenon.

This is going to be so much fun. The best craic.

I mean, just look at the Wikipedia description of The Traitors as a show ‘where contestants navigate challenges testing loyalty and deception in a thrilling competition’.

This thing’s got to be the most Irish TV show ever. We can do loyalty and deception in a single sentence. A nod and a wink. Machiavellian is spelled McIavellian in Ireland.

And as for competition, well who is it that keeps winning the Euromillions? Yep. Us!

In The Traitors Ireland (and everywhere else), a group of contestants arrive at a castle with hopes of winning a large cash prize that’s built up through various tasks.

Irish families have gone to war with each other for less.

The players are referred to as the ‘Faithful’ but among them are the ‘Traitors’ – a group of contestants whose goal is to eliminate the Faithful and claim the prize for themselves.

Contestants are eliminated, either by being voted out at the Round Table meetings, or if the Traitors decide to ‘murder’ them.

Should the Faithful contestants eliminate all the Traitors, they will share the prize fund, but if any Traitor makes it to the end, they steal the money.

Anyway. That’s the bones of the show. Here are seven reasons why The Traitors Ireland is going to be deliciously treacherous and gloriously greedy…

1. It’s hosted by Siobhán McSweeney

‘Shy’ and ‘retiring’ are two words you couldn’t possibly associate with Siobhán McSweeney.

She cannot shut up and she’s here to stay. She was made to host The Traitors Ireland.


Siobhán McSweeney

Look at the UK version, for an example of how it’s toned to suit its audience. Claudia Winkleman is the classic, almost cold English host. She floats in and out of the show like a smartly dressed spectre.

Siobhán McSweeney, on the other hand, will be much more Irish and hands-on. And sarky.

She’ll be trying not to call people ‘feckin’ eejits!’ and could also be a bit of an Irish Mammy towards the contestants if or when they need a shoulder.

And when she meets up for the late-night chat with the Traitors, she could be giving them advice on how to be even more treacherous. For the craic, like.

When she was announced as host, Siobhán said: “Like everyone, I am a huge Traitors fan, so when I was asked to host the Irish version, I jumped at the chance.

“I’m looking forward to meeting our loyal, Faithful, and delicious Traitors. The Irish have a charm and ability to deceive while smiling which will make this version rather special, I think.

“And I’m the luckiest person in the world to watch them close up.”

2. It’s set in Slane Castle

It may be world famous for the massive slope that makes its grounds a natural amphitheatre leading down to the Boyne River, but first and foremost Slane Castle is a castle. The clue is in the title.


Slane Castle

And castles are, by their very nature, spooky places. Dungeons and stuff.

As such, Slane offers the perfect setting for a show such as The Traitors Ireland.

The late Lord Henry Mountcharles was the epitome of effortless bonhomie at Slane Castle – but stick up some Traitors flags, set a Round Table, add a pile of eager Faithfuls and devious Traitors, and it’s going to become Slain Castle.

Deadly!

3. Ireland is a small place

There’s no hiding place in Ireland. Everybody knows somebody who knows somebody else who knows you.

Or even worse: they know about you. We’ve all heard the phrase: ‘Oh, I know about that one’?

This means it’s very difficult to remain anonymous in Ireland. There’s always a connection to be made. You have to be on your guard. Keep smiling and nodding. You’ll be grand.


Could Claudia Winkelman cope with Irish parochialism?

It’s the old, old story. You’re in – say – Thurles, and someone asks where you’re from. Say it’s Gurranabraher in Cork.

Within seconds, there’s someone who knows someone from there. And of course, you know them too.

You can picture the opening episode of The Traitors Ireland. ‘You’re from where? Ah, my cousin Jimmy knows a few people from there.’

You suddenly realise they’re talking about your friends or family. And they’re not being very complimentary. Inter-county rivalries and traits will add to the mix.

Don’t tell me something like that won’t happen on The Traitors Ireland!

The familiarity pot will be constantly stirring on this show.

4. Irish people are king mixers

It’s only when you go away that you realise how effortlessly friendly Irish people can be to complete strangers. It’s almost like a badge of honour.


Kevin McGahern will host Traitors Ireland Uncloaked, the after-show show

For example: a couple of Canadians get on a DART in Dublin and ask about getting off at Howth or wherever, and suddenly they’re surrounded by helpful souls.

Before you know it, the tourists are getting restaurant and pub recommendations, offers of nights out on the town, tips on how to avoid seagulls and detailed, hand-drawn maps of North County Dublin.

On The Traitors Ireland, the gang will immediately act like they’ve known each other for years.

Well, until the first day ends and the daily reassessments in the bar and lounge areas begin.

5. The first item on the agenda is the split

If there’s one thing Irish people agree on, it’s our willingness to disagree with each other and fall out with ease.


The Round Table is where sparks will fly

The split is a classic trait of Irish political parties, where the term ‘splitters’ is more commonly heard than in any other democracy in the world.

It’s just a fact.

Then there’s the case of the two lads on the local football team who aren’t getting their game as often as before. What do they do? They form their own football club.

Because we’re a nation of splitters!

It won’t take long for factions to form and fracture in The Traitors Ireland. That’s when the real sparks will fly and it’s going to make for unmissable telly.

6. Phony bonhomie is an Irish forte

You know the drill. You’re on a sun holiday and get pally with a few heads from Germany or wherever. Sound lads and lassies.

One of them mentions that they’d like to visit Ireland one day. Naturally, you invite them to call around to your place, not meaning a word of it.

‘No bother!’ you tell them. ‘Sure yiz can all stay in our place. It’ll be grand.’

Then you come home and forget all about the folks you met. It was just holiday talk, right? Having the craic.

Well, until they turn up unannounced on your doorstep.

Apply this Irish trait to the Traitors, and you’ll see contestants telling each other that they’re friends for life, before voting them off the show at the next Round Table.

7. t’s ultimately everyone for themselves

Come on! We all know what happens in Ireland when – for example – there’s a drop of snow.

The first thing pretty much everybody does is head to the shops to fill a trolley with bread, milk and other daily staples.

Community spirit? You’re having a laugh!

Remember when Covid first hit these shores? The supermarkets were cleared out in no time. Like, there was nothing left on the shelves bar a few smelly sprouts.

And I bet there are still people out there with tons of toilet paper buried in a cupboard.

As the old saying goes: ‘God helps those who help themselves’.

The Traitors Ireland could be the sneakiest, backstabbiest version of the show yet.

And we’ll lap up every deceitful second of it.

The Traitors Ireland begins on RTÉ One and RTÉ Player on Sunday August 31.