Jon on Epstein Files vs. Pizzagate & Ronny Chieng on Trump’s MBS Meeting | The Daily Show

Jon on Epstein Files vs. Pizzagate & Ronny Chieng on Trump’s MBS Meeting | The Daily Show

[THEME MUSIC] On the premiere of Season
8 of the Epstein files, old emails continue to
resurface, sparking renewed interest because of exchanges
like this one, which really encapsulates the
absolutely astonishing nature of this entire affair. I give you– this is an email
exchange between Jeffrey Epstein and his brother, Mark. REPORTER: In one email,
Epstein’s brother, Mark, told him to ask Steve
Bannon if, quote, “Putin has the photos
of Trump blowing Bubba?” [LAUGHTER] This sentence,
maybe 18 words long, seven of those words are “Steve
Bannon,” “Putin,” “photos,” “Trump blowing Bubba.” It’s a rich text. Literary scholars will secure
tenure of the analysis of this text, “Steve Bannon,”
“Putin,” “photos,” “Trump blowing Bubba.” And I know what you’re
probably thinking. Jeffrey Epstein had a brother? He did, apparently. And to the second thing
that you might be thinking– REPORTER: Mark Epstein
released a statement clarifying that
the name Bubba was not a reference to former
President Bill Clinton. [LAUGHTER] Thank you for
clearing that up. No further questions,
Your Honor. Boy, before I go,
one last thing– which Bubba was
he blowing then? It’s not Bubba Gump. That’s a restaurant. And you can’t
blow a restaurant. By the way, that’s not a
challenge, Mr. President. You see, but these are the
kinds of questions that can be answered by releasing
the Epstein files, which Donald Trump has been
steadfastly against. I don’t understand why the
Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It’s pretty boring stuff. Did you see the
blowing email? It’s kind of interesting. [CHEERING] I mean, the little
taste of that– no pun intended– did arouse– again, no pun intended– some curiosity about the
rest of, if I may, the load. That one I meant. The pressure is building. Is there any way to talk
about this story that doesn’t sound ejaculate adjacent? People are begging
on their knees. No, this is not– demanding release–
no this is– But the House of
Representatives clearly now has
the votes to demand that the Epstein
files be released, which is why this
weekend, Trump pivoted. REPORTER: The president,
writing on social media, “House Republicans
should vote to release the Epstein files because
we have nothing to hide.” Oh. Nothing to hide. For those of you at home
who are watching tonight and have something
to hide, whether it be a simple guilty
pleasure of the lowbrow television variety– hello, swinging Mormons– or
a body encased in concrete by your sump, at some
point, the walls will close in, at which point you too will
probably find yourself saying– maybe not via tweet– hey, go ahead, look,
I got nothing to hide. But you do. You do. And so does Trump,
because guess what? If he had nothing
to hide, he could have declassified and
released these files himself at any time. How do I know this? A legal expert named Donald
Jurisprudence Trump said so. If you’re the President
of the United States, you can declassify just by
saying, it’s declassified, even by thinking about it. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] Oh, come on, Donny boy. Don’t think about it. No, don’t even–
think about baseball. Think about your grandma. Think about baseball. Think about your grandma
playing baseball. Don’t think about
the classified– I declassified it. Oh, I shouldn’t have
done it, but I did it. I declassified in my pants. It’s very clear Trump does not
want these things out there, which is obvious, even from
his nonsensical answers about it in the
Oval Office today. We have nothing
to do with Epstein. The Democrats do. All of his friends
were Democrats. You look at this, Reid
Hoffman, you look at Larry Summers, Bill Clinton. First of all, are you OK? And second of all, we’ve
tried to look at those people. But every time we do,
your picture comes up. But [BLEEP] yeah, investigate
everyone who had a relationship with Epstein, which includes,
if we’re being honest, you, Mr. President. And, by the way,
investigate the Democrats. And maybe you’ll find out– [APPLAUSE] Yeah, exactly. Investigate them all. And by the way, while you’re
out there, see if you can find the Democrat who cut
a sweetheart prison deal for Ghislaine Maxwell
after she told your lawyer she never saw you do anything
wrong, oh, and by the way, never saw Jeffrey Epstein
do anything wrong either. Have at it because the perks
that Maxwell is getting in prison would seem
sketchy for a run of the mill white collar
larcenist, let alone a convicted sex trafficker. REPORTER: Tonight, new details
about the list of perks that Ghislaine Maxwell
is getting behind bars. Private meals
and mail delivery, cell Mates reassigned
for privacy, special visits in the
Chapel, and the warden helps her send
documents and emails. The warden? Hello, Warden, it’s Ghislaine. I’m having just an awful time
converting this file to PDF. Would you be a dear? Uh, yeah, I’ll send the IT guy. Oh, no. You will attend to
this personally. Yes, Ghislaine. I’m sorry? Yes Ms– I’m sorry. Am I still on the phone? Yes. Yes Ms. Maxwell. And scene. All right. I mean, come on,
the [BLEEP] warden? And it gets cushier, literally. REPORTER: One of the perks
that I think that people may be surprised that is a perk is the
idea of unlimited toilet paper. [GASPING] The audience literally
gasped right now. I’ve been a free
man my whole life. I have never had unlimited
toilet paper, never in my life. I wasn’t raised that way. But Maxwell, she’s
just wiping and wiping. Hello, Warden. Would you be a dear? Unlimited toilet paper! It does explain her prison
Halloween costume this year Unlimited. Is it possible that
Trump’s whole bullshit facade is crumbling? I mean, right
now, all he can do is distract from one lie with
what is clearly another lie. All I want is
I want for people to recognize a great
job that I’ve done on pricing, on affordability. What planet do you live on? Great job on affordability? My Taco Bell order is now $72. By the way, I still round
up for the children. [CHEERING] I don’t want you thinking
I don’t round up. This dude is flailing. The normally reliable
Trump is even struggling to deliver
on his greatest gift, the cutting nickname. REPORTER: Over the
weekend, President Trump repeatedly going after
one of his closest allies and staunchest
defenders, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. REPORTER: Calling her
“Marjorie Taylor Brown” because, quote,
“Green grass turns Brown when it begins to rot.” You know, I’ve always
said that the best nicknames are the ones you have to
explain in parentheses, right, Bubba? Hey, Bubba. Hey, Bubba. He’s from the South, and he
likes being blown, Bubba. But believe me, this is real. This Epstein thing
is no Democrat hoax. And you know it’s real because
Trump’s allies are working overtime to distract, or,
in the case of Fox News, not even to mention,
when the emails came out, Fox devoted most of their
airtime to such urgent matters as the socialist
takeover of Seattle, the Treasury phasing out the
penny, the northern lights, the growing popularity
of Christian music, and as always, Kamala
Harris goes crazy for carbs. Move over, elite
pedophile ring. Kamala’s gone Garfield
on the lasagna. [APPLAUSE] My God. Any other problems
with the emails? Another critique we’re
hearing from some Republicans is that these emails
are cut and spliced. They’re taken out of context. Some of them are a little
bit difficult to decode, if you will. (COUGHING) Bullshit. (SPEAKING NORMALLY)
Difficult to decode? Have you read these emails? They weren’t put together
by Navajo Code Talkers. Here are the emails. Hey, Jeffrey, rented
a huge house in Ibiza, invited lots of girls
from Russia, all models. The scout used to
scout for Trump, but he doesn’t work
for him anymore. He’s coming with 12 girls
and would like to meet you. Or how about this one? I will send you a picture of
this Burmese girl, very pretty. I will bring her to the US. Yeah, probably not on an H-1b. Look, these emails
are explicit, and they were written post
Epstein’s conviction in 2008. And even then,
these [BLEEP] felt so invincible that
they didn’t even think to try and hide any of it. No mafia. Hey, did you take
care of that thing? No the donuts are
in the container. No even ix-nay on the irls-gay. But suddenly, the right is
all, this is impenetrable. What language be this? So let’s go back and remember
how this whole [BLEEP] dance started. Let me take you back to 2016,
when another batch of emails was released, and MAGA had no
trouble busting out the decoder rings for those emails. REPORTER: The Pizzagate
conspiracy began with the Clinton Wikileaks. The conspiracy theory quickly
spread to Reddit and YouTube, feeding fake online news
stories alleging a Clinton campaign child sex ring. Well, that– a child– that’s
an incredibly serious charge. And seeing how the
right doesn’t like to jump to
conclusions on emails, I assume that these
emails were pretty concise and clear about
the extent of what would be a horrific crime. REPORTER: The original
source of all this? A leaked email to
Jon Podesta, Hillary Clinton’s campaign chief. It was from his brother,
and it said simply, “Would love to get a pizza.” [LAUGHTER] My God. Could it be any clearer that
Jon Podesta and his brother are running a family-owned
child sex ring? What else could. “Would love to
get a pizza” mean? That was the famous
Pizzagate conspiracy. When people were so obsessed
with finding evidence of sex trafficking, they
built a whole code book and applied it to those emails. REPORTER: What they found were
numerous references to pizza, a term urban Dictionary says
is slang for child pornography. So somehow, they concluded
that Podesta and company were speaking in code. REPORTER: These
conspiracy theorists started saying that pizza
and cheese and pasta were code words, referring,
in fact, to child sex abuse. REPORTER: Why did
the Podesta emails mention the code word
pasta for either little boy or sex 78 times? Why would he mention pasta
78 times, other than the fact that he’s Italian? He’s Italian. What are you– [APPLAUSE] He’s Italian. If you try to type
Podesta into your phone, half the time, it will
autocorrect to pasta. If anything, 78 times is low. I mean, who knows what
this [BLEEP] dude is into? But mentioning pasta
doesn’t make someone a pedophile, even if it does
make them a penne-phile. Hi. I’m comedian and Daily
Show host Jon Stewart. Sometimes it’s a challenge
for a comedy show to discuss sex
trafficking networks. So you have to find the
jokes wherever you can. Generally, that does
include pasta puns, even if they do make me
feel a little fu-silly. But the Pizzagate
conspiracy wasn’t just left to grow on its own. People in MAGA world were
very happy to feed that fire. This is tied into Podesta
with thousands of emails. QAnon, a lot of this stuff
these guys have been talking about comes out to be true. Pizzagate, as it’s
called, is a rabbit hole that is horrifying to go down. Yeah, I think if people
thought anytime someone mentioned pizza, they were
talking about having sex with kids, yeah,
that would actually be terrifying
because it’s the most popular food in the country. But you know what
this shit does? It trivializes and
tries to politicize what is an actual real [BLEEP]
problem in this country and this world and has now
put those same influencers in the position to back away
from this in present time with far more
explicit evidence. This is an email
without any context. Once again, ultimately, it’s
just Epstein trying to pull Trump in and implicate him. And they’ve bent over him. They’ve been cherry picked. They know it’s there. It’s all old stuff. So it’s just more
gaslighting, more deception. As I’ve always said,
context is important. As I say on my show
every day, the truth is oftentimes nuanced. That’s why you got to be
real careful with this shit. And as for Bannon,
through these emails, we’ve learned he was
working with Epstein to figure out ways he could
rehabilitate Epstein’s image. It’s [BLEEP] amazing. With these Podesta
emails, it was all, they were the Enigma
machine, decoding everything. But these Epstein
emails now are a New York Times crossword
puzzle from a Monday. You can figure this
shit out in ink. In fact, the only guy– the only guy– the only guy
that I have to give props to is Alan Dershwitz, not
for moral integrity, but this dude’s been on
Epstein’s team from the get go, and he’s sticking with it. He pleaded
guilty to one count of having sex for money with
a 17-year-and-10-month-old person. That’s not pedophile. Yeah. A little rule– rule of
thumb for everyone out there. If you ever find yourself
counting anyone’s age in months, chances
are the person you’re describing is still a child. But maybe the most
shocking thing about this– and I cannot
stress this enough, convicted sex
trafficker– is the extent of his social network. We mentioned some of
the emails between Epstein and writer Michael Wolff. REPORTER: Epstein
emailed, he received a gift from Saudi Crown
Prince Mohammed bin Salman. REPORTER: Contacts include
liberal academic Noam Chomsky. Ehud Barak and Larry Summers. And Deepak Chopra. REPORTER: Soon-Yi Previn,
Woody Allen’s wife. Landon Thomas of
The New York Times. REPORTER: The former
Prince Andrew. Ken Starr, Peter Thiel. Look at the names
in these emails. You get Democrats, Republicans,
Silicon Valley billionaires, spiritual thought leaders. You got an Israeli prime
minister and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. My God, the range. What it tells you is that
a certain stratosphere, the petty differences of
class and race and religion fade away. We’re left and right,
Jew, Arab and Christian, ultra rich, and oh my god,
is that a rocket rich. Find common ground,
and show us that we can live in peaceful coexistence. It would be almost
beautiful if not for the sex trafficking part. Oh my god, elite sex
trafficking ring. Is there anything
you can’t spoil? And I’m not saying these
people are all in the ring. But Epstein was a convicted sex
offender at the time of these emails, and of course,
mentioned in these emails more than anyone else,
more than 1,600 times, is Donald Trump. Is that evidence of his guilt? No. But it shows that he’s
a part of that world. And certainly, the
circumstantial evidence points to his understanding
of what was occurring. But if there are
more of you out there that need definitive proof,
perhaps this will convince you. It’s wrong, isn’t it? But it feels so right. Then it’s a deal? Yes. We eat our pizza the wrong way.
– Crust first. ANNOUNCER: Introducing stuffed
crust pizza from Pizza Hut. Oh my god,
they’re doing anal! We’ve learned a lot in the
last week about the monsters that Jeffrey Epstein
surrounded himself with. But let’s not forget, he
also surrounded himself with total [BLEEP] losers. REPORTER: Harvard professor
and former Treasury Secretary under Bill Clinton
Larry Summers– on Monday night, Summers
said, he is stepping back from public commitments
after messages between him and Epstein were released,
where he asked the sex offender for advice about
pursuing a young woman he described as his mentee. And Epstein described
himself as Summers’ wingman. Wow. Really? I can’t believe this guy
needed help getting laid. Why are you asking Jeffrey
Epstein to be your wingman? You are the president of
Harvard, Larry Summers. Just ask Harvard to do a study
on how to make you [BLEEP]. And by the way, Larry
Summers is married. But he’s all over
these emails, asking Epstein about girls, like
he just got his first pube. REPORTER: On March
16, 2019, Summers wrote, “We talked on phone. I said, what are you up to? She said, I’m busy. I said, awfully coy, you are. Tone was not of good feeling.” Tone was not of good
feeling, awfully coy, you are. Here’s a tip on girls. They don’t like guys
who talk like Yoda. And if you’re wondering, when
did Larry Summers stop emailing Jeffrey Epstein about
women, the answer is up until he couldn’t. REPORTER: In June of 2019,
Summers asked Epstein about the chances
of getting, quote, “horizontal” with a woman. Epstein responded that Summers
needed to play the “long game.” Epstein was
arrested soon after. Yeah, I kind of
actually feel a little bad for Jeffrey Epstein. I mean, the walls are closing
in on him at this point, and he still has to teach
this [BLEEP] dork game? He’s, like, texting, it’s hard
to talk, hiding from feds, keep negging. But Epstein emails are just
a gross appetizer here. Everyone is still waiting for
the disgusting main course, the DOJ’s Epstein files. For months, Trump has done
everything he can to prevent the release of these files. He’s tried persuading
Republicans not to vote for it. Then he tried threatening them. Then he tried
pointing up at the sky and going, what’s over there? What is that? But nobody looked except
for Tommy Tuberville, who is actually still looking. But when it became clear
that the House was going to ignore Trump and vote
to release the Epstein files anyway, Trump backtracked
and said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, do that. That’s also what I want,
which is why today the vote passed unanimously, almost. REPORTER: In a rare show of
unity, the vote was 427 to 1, Louisiana Republican
Congressman Clay Higgins, the only member
voting against this bill. OK, does Clay
Higgins represent the Third Congressional
District of Epstein Island? Who even is this guy? Oh. OK, that makes sense. Now, I believe this is
a guy who would vote to block the Epstein files. I mean, he doesn’t need
the DOJ to release them. He’s just going to steal them
from Indiana Jones later. But aside from him, all
the House Republicans voted against Trump, even
his most ardent supporter, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Georgia
Representative, and woman who just started taking her meds. Trump was so mad, he called
her a traitor this weekend. And I bet that got
her back in line. I was called a traitor by a
man that I fought for five– no, actually, six years for. Let me tell you
what a traitor is. A traitor is an American
that serves foreign countries and themselves. What the [BLEEP] is happening
with Marjorie Taylor Greene? Did she get the
severance surgery? Was she– was she bit by a
radioactive Rachel Maddow? Like, she’s getting so
liberal that a month from now, she’s going to be performing
on NPR’s Tiny Desk. I mean– and how dare she? How dare she imply that Trump
serves foreign countries? The president is
out here every day thinking about America First. REPORTER: President
Trump rolled out the red carpet
for Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. OK, look, sometimes America
First means Saudi Arabia First. So what? He rolled out a
red carpet for MBS. It’s not like Trump is
endorsing everything he’s done. Your Royal Highness,
the US intelligence concluded that you
orchestrated the brutal murder of a journalist. You’re mentioning
somebody that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn’t
like that gentleman that you’re talking about. Whether you like him or didn’t
like him, things happened. But he knew nothing about it,
and we can leave it at that. You don’t have to embarrass
our guests by asking a question like that. Yeah, hey, hey, shut up,
a little etiquette, please. This man is a guest
in our country. Why are you asking him about
the journalist he bone sawed? It’s like no one
has manners anymore. Trump is dealing with a
lot of shit right now, OK? He lost the Epstein vote. They’re being mean
to his best friend. One more reasonable question,
and he’s going to [BLEEP] lose it. REPORTER: Mr. President,
why wait for Congress to release the Epstein files? Why not just do it now? You know, it’s not the
question that I mind. It’s your attitude. I think you are a
terrible reporter. It’s the way you
ask these questions. You start off with a man
who is highly respected, asking him a horrible,
insubordinate, and just a terrible question. And you could even ask that
same exact question nicely. You’re all psyched. Somebody psyched
you over at ABC. They’re going to psych– you’re a terrible person
and a terrible reporter. Well, I hope you
guys are happy. Would it have killed you
to ask MBS about the murder nicely, just a little? Excuse me, Crown
Prince, would you be so kind as to stop murdering
my colleagues, pretty please? Please? And as for releasing
the Epstein files, Donald Trump’s position has
been very clear, kind of. Sure, I would. Let the Senate look at it. Let anybody look at it. But don’t talk about it too
much because, honestly, I don’t want to take it away from us. It’s really a Democrat problem. It’s a Democrat problem. So you don’t want to talk
about it to help them? That’s nice? Yesterday was a big
day at the White House because Donald Trump got to
have a play date with Mohammed bin Salman, the Crown
Prince of Saudi Arabia and all around great
guy, who definitely doesn’t hold a grudge
and, I, Ronny Chieng, have no problems with. And the two of
them couldn’t keep Trump’s hands off each other. We work with all presidents. Does Trump blow
them all away? It’s another
league, Mr. President. REPORTER: Mr. President– And Trump doesn’t
give a fist bump. I grabbed that hand. I don’t give a hell
where that hand’s been. I grabbed that hand. What the hell was that? That was the worst
handshake I’ve ever seen. That was like the
9/11 of handshakes. And once again, Saudi
Arabia is involved? OK. And, Trump, why
are you wondering where his hand has been? You’re the one whose
hand is decomposing. I mean– now, you
might be wondering, wait, how is Donald Trump
best friends with MBS? Isn’t Trump the Muslim ban guy? Didn’t he just spent a
month calling Zohran Mamdani a terrorist? Well, the difference
is that Zohran Mamdani is a Shia Muslim,
whose family comes from Uganda by way
of India, whereas MBS is giving Trump money. REPORTER: The Trump
organization already has multiple projects
in Saudi Arabia, including Trump Towers
in Jeddah and Riyadh and a Trump Plaza in the works. In the last year alone, the
Trump organization Saudi partner pumping more
than $20 million into the family business. Wow, three Trump
Towers in Saudi Arabia? See? America can [BLEEP]
up your skyline too. But enough about collusion
between global elites. Let’s move on to
the Epstein files. Yeah. Where my Ep heads at? Just me. Yesterday, the House
of Representatives voted to release the files,
thanks to brave Republicans, like Nancy Mace, who was
very clear about not being a part of the Epstein network. The Epstein email suggests
that, in fact, there is a widespread code among
people with power and money who support one another. Does that exist in Washington? I’m not part of the powerful. I’m not part of the elite. I’m an island of one. I don’t get invited to parties. I don’t have any friends. I have a dog. Wait, are you fishing for
an invite to the sex party? Like, why did you make
not being a part of a pedophile ring sound so sad? There’s a middle
ground between Epstein Island and friendless loser. Like, walk the middle path. I mean, she doesn’t
go to parties. She doesn’t have friends. She does have a dog. But after a day with her,
even the dog’s like, where’s Kristi Noem when you need her? But thanks to
these Republicans, the House voted to
release the Epstein files. And I just cannot believe
this is going to happen. Trump has been trying
to stop us from seeing these files for months now. I mean, they must have some
plan to drag this thing out. REPORTER: House
Speaker Mike Johnson says he expects
the Senate to amend the bill, which would then
send it back to the House. Of course. That’s the plan. Yeah, it’s obvious. They’re going to let it pass
the House because they know it’ll go to the Senate,
a.k.a. where the legislation and senators go to die. Breaking tonight
in Washington, DC, the Senate has unanimously
agreed to pass the bill to release the Epstein files. Wait, what? [CHEERING] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, hang on. Wait, how– how the [BLEEP]
did it pass this fast? I thought a bill in the Senate
had to go through amendments and committees and floor votes
and Mitch McConnell’s neck folds, and they have to
add some unrelated earmarks that somehow make Lindsey
Graham millions of dollars. Like, how did they
get around all that? Senate Democrats pressured
their Republican counterparts to pass the Epstein Files
Transparency Act by something that’s called
unanimous consent, meaning the Senate
accepts the House version of the bill as written. Wait, you can do that? Unanimous consent? Well, then why don’t you
do that with every bill? I mean, does it only work on
bills with Epstein’s name? In that case, we might need
to pass the Jeffrey Epstein Universal Health Care Epstein
Act, Featuring Jeffrey Epstein. [CHEERING] No, don’t. Why are you cheering
Jeffrey Epstein? But back to this bill–
there’s no way they’re going to let this pass, OK? Yeah, it got through
the House and Senate. But I’m sure Donald Trump
will veto this bill as soon as it reaches his desk. REPORTER: President
Donald Trump says he’s ready to
sign the bill as soon as it reaches his desk. Wait, my god, what the
hell is happening here? Is Trump really going to
release the Epstein files? He’s not going to
burn them, or hide them, or put them on Barron’s
head so no one can reach them? I can’t believe this. Look, there’s just
no way that this man is going to release the
Epstein files that he is in. I mean, he must have a
plan to get out of this. We should note, the
legislation as it stands clearly says, quote, “The
Attorney General may withhold or redact personally
identifiable information of victims or victims’
personal and medical files,” and any material
that would jeopardize an active investigation
or national security. Yeah, there we go. See? That’s how they’re
going to keep these files secret,
national security, America’s go-to justification. It stops us from bringing
shampoo on a plane. It puts tariffs on bananas. And soon, it can prevent you
from seeing if the president is a pedophile. And by the time Pam Bondi
is done with these files, they’ll be more censored than
the airplane version of Anora. Now, I’m not saying we’ll
never see the Epstein files. I’m not saying we will. All I’m saying is, we
need to find other clues that the president
inappropriately touches people, all right? Last night, Trump
signed the Epstein File Transparency Act into law. It was the first
step towards proving that there’s no
connection between him and Jeffrey Epstein. Unfortunately, he signed
the bill like this. [LAUGHTER] Not again. So now, this bill is a law. It’s fully legal,
or as Megyn Kelly would probably call it, 16. In the meantime,
Pam Bondi has opened a new investigation into
Epstein’s relationships with Democrats. And it’s not just because
Trump ordered her to on Twitter for the whole world to see. No, that’s not why. She had a perfectly
good explanation for that, that she’s not
nervous about at all. REPORTER: What changed
since then that you launched this investigation? Information that has come– information. There’s information
that– new information, additional information. Perfect answer. It was perfect. What part of information– in
the information– information do you not understand? Also at the briefing was FBI
chief podcaster Kash Patel, who seems to think that if
he stands still long enough, we won’t notice that he’s
a part of this whole thing. I mean, I’ve heard of
a 1,000 yard stare, but this dude looks like he
could see to China right now. Hey, Kash, could you check
in on my family in Malaysia while you’re at it? I mean, what’s my mom doing? Actually, no, don’t
look at my mom. But Pam Bondi isn’t the only
Trump official investigating Democrats and [BLEEP] it up. We also got Lindsay
Halligan, whom Trump made his personal lawyer after
he saw her on a golf course in a suit, which sounds
like a joke, but it’s not. She’s now a US attorney,
leading his crusade against James Comey. And she’s crushing it. REPORTER: The case against
former FBI Director James Comey may be in jeopardy. Lindsay Halligan, the
inexperienced prosecutor President Trump
handpicked for the job, but has never tried
a criminal case, admitted she never showed
the entire grand jury the indictment it was
supposed to have approved. REPORTER: It’s a mistake
that could end up getting the case thrown out entirely. It turns out the unqualified
lawyer [BLEEP] up the case. I mean, this is how
Legally Blonde would have gone if it was real. Like, well, I’ve never
tried a case before, but I’m going to do my best. Case dismissed.
You are disbarred. Roll credits. In her defense, how
was she supposed to know she has to
show the indictment to the whole grand jury, OK? They almost never show
that part on Suits. But let’s move on to
one of Trump’s friends who never gets anything
wrong, Elon Musk. He’s been away for a
while, but this week, he was back at the White
House for a state dinner. And I’m glad Trump
and Elon made up because love him
or hate him, Elon is the richest guy in the
world, so you have to love him. And if you doubt Elon’s
greatness, just ask his own AI. REPORTER: After some
apparent reprogramming, Elon Musk’s Grok AI
is now telling users that Musk ranks among
the top 10 minds in history, rivaling
da Vinci or Newton. Grok also claims that Musk’s
lean and wiry physique, while not Olympian, places
him in the upper echelons and that he edges out
LeBron James in, quote, “holistic fitness.” [LAUGHTER] That’s right. Elon Musk is in better
shape than LeBron James. And that shape is trapezoid. I mean, AI is everywhere. When it came time this week
to speak to troops about AI warfare, Trump sent the obvious
choice from the White House to do it. First Lady Melania
Trump offering a warning about the impacts
of AI on the battlefield. Melania Trump. What is the First Lady doing
talking about AI and warfare? I mean, she should be doing
normal first lady things, like calling kids fat,
or calling kids druggies, or calling kids stupid. But OK, let’s see what
she has to say about this. AI will alter
war more profoundly than any technology
since nuclear weapons. The shift from soldiers to
machines is already underway. Autonomous helicopters,
swarming drones, and recon aircraft are here now. Fighterless jets and autonomous
bombers are on the way. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. [LAUGHTER] Wow. The new Terminator
movie is weird as hell. I mean, I can’t
even tell if she’s for or against this future
that she’s describing. Like, maybe she’s just waiting
to see who wins and then declare her allegiance? She’s like, the robots will
destroy us, and good or bad, we’ll see. And finally, big news from the
Secretary of Transportation, Sean Duffy– the FAA has had a lot
of problems recently, worker shortages, system
failures, mixing up the sky and the ground. But luckily, Sean’s
got a solution that will fix everything. REPORTER: The Department
of Transportation is urging airline passengers
to be on our best behavior. Let’s bring civility
and manners back. Ask yourself, are you
helping a pregnant woman put her bag in the overhead bin? Are you dressing with respect? Are you saying thank
you to your flight attendants and your pilots? Are you saying please
and thank you in general? Are manners the most
important thing for the FAA to be dealing with right now? This would be like if in
the middle of Vietnam, Henry Kissinger said, hey,
everyone, just here to say chew with your mouth closed. But Duffy is right. We should all be
more civilized, including the president,
who just today posted “Hang the Democrats.” Does that sound polite to you? No. It should be, please,
hang the Democrats. Thank you. But they are really committing
to this civility campaign. They even released
a whole video about how they want to take air
travel back to the Golden Age. (SINGING) Come fly with me Let’s fly, let’s fly away ANNOUNCER: Air travel is a
miracle of American ingenuity. We respected the
dignity of air travel and the men and women who
made the dream possible. Flying was a
bastion of civility. But today– [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [BLEEP] [SHOUTING] Yeah!
Get him. [BLEEP] him up. Hey, I mean, it’s not–
it’s nice to see Americans being physically active. I know flying isn’t as classy
as it was in the 1950s, but at least with
these passengers, 9/11 is not going to
happen again, all right, ’cause no way a bunch of
terrorists can defeat four angry Karens in their pajamas. They’re going to be like, I
got a box cutter too, bitch. [THEME MUSIC]

Jon Stewart examines the latest batch of released Epstein emails, including a jaw-dropping message about Trump and “Bubba,” and urges the GOP to hold the Epstein emails to the same investigative standard that they held Pizzagate. Ronny Chieng covers Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s meeting with Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene’s clap-back at the president, the most recent blunders from Trump’s cabinet, and the imminent release of the Epstein files. #DailyShow #JonStewart #RonnyChieng

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