Dr. Jonice Webb, a scholar of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and Psychology Today contributor, defines this type of neglect as parental failure to “respond to their children’s feelings enough while raising them, which communicates to children that their emotions are invisible or unimportant.”

Dr Webb goes on to highlight one of the reasons why CEN is a silent destroyer:

“It’s not typically observable as a trauma when it happens, and it does not usually feel traumatic to the child… CEN usually happens in a thousand small moments of a person’s childhood.”

Childhood emotional neglect is the quietest of the forms of abuse and neglect that children can experience. Its quietness belies the extent to which it can negatively impact on the lives of those who suffer it, with some studies reporting that emotional maltreatment (abuse and neglect) were as harmful as other forms of maltreatment (physical abuse and neglect, and sexual abuse) while another, more recent study, made the bold claim that emotional abuse and neglect are more harmful than physical and sexual abuse. While there is no need for a morbid competition, insights such as these are useful to prevent the dismissal of emotional neglect as being relatively harmless.

Its quietness is partly due to the fact that the term applies to an act of omission (something not being done) rather than an act of commission (something being done). CEN is much less tangible than other types of abuse and neglect; it is subtler and more sensitive to context and interpretation.

Two aspects of the immigrant family experience can lead to heightened risk of the onset of childhood emotional neglect, with this area warranting further study.

The Well-Being Cost of the Immigrant Experience

Research from the WHO this year highlights that migrant and refugee populations are more prone to experience depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide, and psychoses. A 2023 study from UCLA reported on psychological outcomes for immigrant populations worsening in the face of anti-immigration sentiments.

The Leah Zallman Center for Immigrant Health Research published last year on the extent of the mental health challenges facing immigrant families, including the prevalence of severe depression, but also issues of accessibility to services.

Reports on these issues within immigrant families tend to focus on the visible fires; the quiet destruction of emotional neglect easily slips through the cracks. It is also noteworthy that Dr Webb classifies struggling parents as being at risk for emotionally neglecting their children.

Tensions of Normality

Not every aspect of every emotion is universal and biological. While the debate around the extent can continue, social context does play a role in how emotions are expressed. What happens to the child who witnesses one culture outside the home, and another culture inside the home? There is likely a degree of tension that will ensue, as expectations and practices mismatch.

The discrepancy between the home and the wider context can be problematic, but there is also a hope that children who are not receiving emotional nurturance in one context can receive it in the other. For example, the child in the emotionally neglectful home could instead receive a degree of nurturance from significant figures in school, or the child in the emotionally neglectful culture could receive emotional nurturance at home. More often than not, it is likely that the tension will not resolve, especially in cases where the child comes from an emotionally neglectful home.

CEN is a pervasive and pernicious force. Elements of the immigrant experience, and the tensions that can arise from it, can lead to children being more susceptible to CEN, with remedies for it being deprioritized in the face of more tangible issues. These risks can serve as reminders for parents and for people who feel they might have been emotionally neglected as children to reflect on CEN and work towards establishing their own experiences and patterns in this zone.