First released on the SEGA Mega Drive/Genesis in 1991, this cutesy pinball game from Wolf Team (Earnest Evans, Sol-Deace, Valis) could be seen as a trendsetter. It arrived a couple of years ahead of Sonic Spinball, sharing a few similarities, and was ahead of the curve when it came to the prehistoric/dinosaur craze that Jurassic Park spawned. Alternatively, it could be seen as a bit rubbish – the verdict dished out by many ‘90s critics.
Can a rewind tool and a low £5 price point salvage it nowadays? It’s certainly an interesting choice for a re-release, we can say that much straight away.
Although vaguely familiar with Dino Land through the Evercade’s excellent Renovation Collection, my experience with this re-release was rough. It seems competent enough initially, with box art and manual scans, a jukebox, optional cheats and the usual array of screen size options. The controls take a moment to become acquainted with as the flippers are mapped to left on the d-pad and the X button, which isn’t unheard of for a pinball game. It’s also possible to shake the table if the ball – an armadillo-style creature called Dino Bunz – becomes stuck, which is likely, as the physics are woollier than a mammoth. It isn’t uncommon to rewind for five seconds to avoid an unrecoverable trajectory, even as far as halfway up the table.
What happened next during my playthrough couldn’t have been predicted. After thirty minutes of bashing Dino Bunz around, reaching the first boss and taking dozens of shots at their giant cranium before the timer runs out, I started to get the impression something was off. I must have hit that boss and their minion – who makes a beeline for Dino Bunz’ girlfriend – around fifty times, and yet they still hadn’t snuffed it. I consulted the manual, which informed that I needed to morph into a creature to attack the boss directly, but neither the manual nor the new UI stated which button is used to morph. By button bashing, Dino Bunz’ will sometimes morph, but this also constantly pauses and unpauses the action. What’s going on? It seems the emulator doesn’t take into account that the controls change during boss battles, setting the morph button to pause. Oh.
So, it’s essentially broken. The only solution to see Dino Land’s three tables – which actually become poorer and more nauseating as the game progresses – is to use the built-in cheats. Do this, and you’ll see everything and unlock every achievement in around 20-30 minutes. As it’s the only way to play Dino Land in the state it has launched in, none of the satisfaction that usually comes with a pinball game is present. The score balloons into the millions, all three bosses are defeated with minimal effort, but it’s all a rouse – there’s no other way to finish it currently without cheating.
Even if a patch is rolled out, it would still be tricky to recommend Dino Land as it has all the hallmarks of an early Mega Drive release, being rather short, simplistic and a bit on the ugly side. Hardcore SEGA Mega Drive fans are the target audience here, with this being one of the console’s lesser-known titles. While £5 isn’t much to satisfy any curiosity that may arise, that’s the only kind of satisfaction you’ll receive here.