When your income hits six figures but your savings hit zero, something’s off. At least that’s how one husband sees it—and now he’s ready to cut the snacks, the streaming, and maybe even the shirts.
In a Reddit post titled “AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum about her ‘work’?”, a man says he’s fed up—and financially tapped out. He earns $100,000 in Salt Lake County, Utah, their mortgage is $2,200 a month, and the cars are paid off. But thanks to rising expenses, he says, “we are still bleeding money.”
His wife, a former nurse, has been a stay-at-home mom for over six years. Two years ago, inspired by her sister’s success, she started a T-shirt business on Etsy. The result?
“To my knowledge, net $0—unless she’s spending it in ways I’m not aware of,” he wrote.
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In the meantime, the spending hasn’t slowed. He says she’ll drop $300 on a child’s birthday, then ask him for grocery money days later. The pantry, he adds, is filled with “exorbitant snacks that I never touch.” Her mom often covers the big-ticket outings, which he believes is feeding an unrealistic sense of what their lifestyle should look like.
“I love my kids,” he wrote, “but if we can’t pay for it, we shouldn’t do it. My wife can’t understand that.”
He says the real tipping point was her business draining time and energy while producing nothing in return—”not being a homemaker because she’s investing into this business that has no fruits.” After 1.6 years of trying to stay supportive, he gave her a two-year deadline: either bring in income, or he takes full control of the spending.
Now that the deadline is here, he’s ready to act.
“I won’t make her quit. But I’ll be cutting Netflix, Amazon, etc. I will do the shopping and I’m not buying the snacks she always gets. I’ll do the cooking if I have to.”
Commenters asked what her response was when he brought up their savings being gone. He answered plainly, “I have brought this all up and she gets defensive, saying I need to trust the process.”
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That’s where the patience ends.