Matt Damon’s Brett Kavanaugh, Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth and Aziz Ansari’s Kash Patel bonded over drinks together in tonight’s “Saturday Night Live” cold open, with Damon’s Supreme Court justice proclaiming, “We’re gonna live forever!”
“It’s nice to have my sneaky bar here where I’m not going to run into anyone from work, because none of Trump’s people like drinking as much as I do,” Jost’s Secretary of Defense asserted at the top of the segment. Right on cue, Damon’s Kavanaugh then came roaring excitedly into frame.
“Pistol Pete! I kind of figured I was gonna find you here,” Damon’s Kavanaugh said, prompting Jost’s Hegseth to worriedly ask, “Oh, did I include you on a signal chat by accident?” Fortunately (?), Damon’s Supreme Court Judge was quick to assure him, “No, no, I just saw the women covering their drinks.”
“Can I just say? We are both kicking ass right now!” he added, to which Jost’s Secretary of Defense concurred, “Right!?! Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war?” Damon’s Kavanaugh, meanwhile, replied, “Can you believe I ended abortion? Hey! Your body, my choice!”
“I just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang,” Damon’s Kavanaugh later remarked, only for FBI Director Kash Patel (Aziz Ansari, reprising the “SNL” role) to loudly announce himself, asking, “Does this bar take caaaash!?!”
You can watch tonight’s “SNL” cold open yourself below.
A Secretary of War, a Supreme Court Justice, and an FBI Director walk into a bar pic.twitter.com/yGACw2vf4e
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) May 10, 2026
More to come…
